by Four! Tier Four! Haha, okay, okay, it’s Tier 3 but I can’t make that joke otherwise. It is of course…
I once read in a gaming magazine, you know your stock is worthless when it arrives and your employees shout, “Hey guys! Looks like the new Frisbees are here!” I can’t help but feel that same way every time I hold a sports game in my hands. Actually wait–I can go deeper. Deeper. DEEPER.
I once played Frisbee for a couple hours with a cow tongue. Yeah. You heard me. Oh, and don’t be fooled, cow tongues are not small. So yeah–holding a sports game is like holding a cow tongue that you’re about to play Frisbee with. As long as you have it in your hands, you’re constantly filled with the urge to chuck it away.
Hal’s Hole in One Golf is a indeed a game about golf. You can choose your clubs, aim your shot, adjust your power and put a slice on the ball. Err… that’s about it. I mean, of course there are the game modes–“Stroke Play” tallies your strokes, “Match Play” tallies your holes, “Tournament Play” pits you against arbitrary numbers posing as other tournament-goers and “VS Hal” pits you against the CPU, but each of those four modes are just a different vehicle taking you to the same game. Arguably, the colors are nice, the music is cheerful, the controls are relatively smooth and the interface is clear–but… at the end of the day it’s just a game about hitting a ball into a hole. Real-life spectacle of life-long skill, accuracy, endurance and patience–simulated spectacle of pushing the d pad left and right and hitting the A button a couple times.
