Chroma Squad – Please Insert CD

Come on, do I need to even say anything? Haven’t you every wanted to build your very own Power Rangers team? Do you have a heart? Do you even breathe? It’s freakin’~~

Chroma Squad seems pretty darn interesting. The game starts at a pretty normal movie studio where 5 typical-colored Power Ranger stuntmen are doing the shoot for a new episode of ~CHROMA SQUAD!~ The movie studio and footage shooting serves as a clever tutorial, with the movie director shouting things at the actors that he wants you to do for the show, which teaches you how to play the game. As the pictures here will show you, we’re working with a grid-based tactical RPG, wherein you control your 5-member Chroma Squad team in combat. Each member of the team has a stat perk indicative of the role traditionally held by the first cast of Power Rangers; the Red Ranger holds the team together with a 50% HP bonus, the Blue Ranger is the techie with bonus skill-regen, The Black Ranger is the most offensive with an attack boost, The Yellow Ranger is the fastest with a +1 movement bonus and the Pink Ranger is set up for support with a bonus to game’s Teamwork mechanic.

By the end of the shoot, the Chroma Squad stuntmen have had it up to “here” with the director, and all agree that leaving the studio to open up their own studio would be much more fun. They inadvertently steal the Chroma Squad suits, encounter a (Mother Brain?) Zordon-esque prop to use as their mentor and enthusiastically set up shop to begin filming.

So, uh… I’m not gonna lie? This is where I stopped making progression within the game. I mean, I’m sure that Chroma Squad has some great combat mechanics and everything. I’m sure eventually I would encounter some cool villains. I don’t know, It’s probably good outside the tutorial. Ultimately though… I wouldn’t know. For the next hour and a half, I could not stop myself from doing anything but building an unnecessary number of Chroma Squad teams. As far as I’m concerned, if someone came up to me right now and said that Chroma Squad wasn’t finished, and that what I played was the extent of the game, I couldn’t even be mad. If I had anyone to blame, it would be myself for being so stupidly entertained by text-boxes and pallete swaps. I guess any game where it lets me choose pixelated mockeries of 80’s actors, name them whatever I want, change what color Ranger they are and then completely script all their catch phrases is just what does it for me. I don’t even think I need the rest of the game to be happy.

I mean, it all started out so innocently. I thought, “I’ll make a team based on some of my favorite fantasy characters,” so I went with Teddie, Greg Universe, Cyborg 009, Tifa Lockheart, and Cassidy Williams…

But then I went with video game characters only. Then Philosophers. Then different kinds of candy. For the sake of trying to move past this section of the game, I forcefully convinced myself that it would be amusing if I named them all the Rangers after friends in my D&D group, led (of course) by the great Chezni-bot 9000. I thought “Ah, this will be nice, I can finally start playing the game.” Oh how wrong I was.

There was a shop, some recording equipment I could purchase but then I stumbled upon the default team name and catch phrases. Well, no, this won’t do at all. It shouldn’t take that long to change these….