Blackwell

Blackwell: A five game series of point-and-click adventures about guiding lost souls to the afterlife.  I love point-and-clicks, and Blackwell has a lot of good elements to it – psychic detectives, a touch of gothic horror, and just a good overall pointandclick atmosphere.  Unfortunately, unlike the games I just linked, those elements just never came together for me. This view may be biased (particularly against the later games) since I just came off of 10 hours of playing through the series (and I’ll admit, I had to look up a few puzzles), but I feel that I have to write this before my memory fails me.

Point-and-Clicks

That isn’t to say that these games are bad – in fact, they steadily improve as you play through the series.  These are solid Tier Two games – with the notable exception of the second game, Blackwell Unbound.  The trouble here comes more from the potential you find in point-and-click games.  For me, point-and-click games exist in a unique middle ground for video games.  In a fully “free” or open-world game, your practically unlimited agency makes small things like not being able to jump a two-foot-high fence a remarkable annoyance.  In a platformer, story is often neglected.  In a visual novel, there is no real challenge or choice (though there are exceptions to that rule).  Conversely, a good point-and-click adventure gives you just the amount of freedom to let you feel as if you contribute, just enough challenge to keep you thinking, and just enough story to keep you engaged.

Perhaps I’m biased.  At the end of my favorite point-and-click, The Longest Journey, I found myself unable to play any video games for a day or two – anything else would have been less perfect.  Between TLJ representing the pinnacle of story-telling and Submachine representing the pinnacle of puzzle-solving, any new point-and-click adventure game has a high bar to clear.  But before I go further about the overarching adventure, let me give you my per-game opinions.  For the record – and because I was constantly confused about it myself – the games go in this order:

  1. The Blackwell Legacy
  2. Blackwell Unbound
  3. Blackwell Convergence
  4. Blackwell Deception
  5. Blackwell Epiphany

The Blackwell Legacy

I’m afraid I don’t have any pictures for this one, since I beat it some time ago.  That says something, as I never found the motivation to go on to the rest of the series.  The protagonist, Rosa Blackwell, is a medium that leads lost souls – ghosts – to the afterlife, with the aid of her spirit guide, Joey Mallone.  Joey is a 30s clothing shop clerk who was gunned down after his best friend got into debt with a loan shark.  This is important, as it is never clearly explained why Joey is special or how often these “spirit guides” are created.  A Tier Two game since I had fun, but there wasn’t enough of the overarching plot to really draw me in.

Blackwell Unbound

Unbound is a prequel, following the aunt of Rosa – mentioned in the first game – back before she lost her grip on reality after the universe poured into her mind. That’s understandable, but this game frustrated me the most in the series.  The protagonist isn’t particularly likable, the puzzles were the worst of the series, and the only connection to the main games was explained in 30 seconds in the next game. You can safely skip this game and move on to Convergence without losing much, so it must be relegated to Tier Three.

Blackwell Convergence

I think this was my favorite of the series: just the right blend of mysterious foreboding and day-to-day ghostbustin’. One of the most important mechanical changes happened here as well – your cursor changes color depending on which character you are currently controlling (which was quite relieving, having played the previous game). The series’ art also peaked right around here.  The pixel art may not be quite as good as Epiphany, but at least the character portraits aren’t in a jarringly different style. The NPCs are well-developed and feature some of the best side characters of the series. It finishes strong with the hope of future adventures ahead.  The entire game has charm and conjures up that certain panache which good 90s games captured so well.  This is the game I almost put into Tier One – and if you’re okay with a semi-cliffhanger, I’d almost suggest that you stop playing here (while also having skipped Unbound).

Blackwell Deception

And they were doing so well.  While this game keeps some of the refinement of the previous one, it also introduces the two major issues I had with the series: a strangely uncharacteristic tone and an increasingly jarring art style.  Scroll up a bit – see that beautiful “spiritual realm” art?  Well, for some reason, this game makes the same place look like a 90s sci-fi set:

To be entirely fair, this game also introduced two things that greatly streamlined gameplay.  The first is a mobile phone so you don’t have to go running home to look things up every ten seconds. The second is this slider:

Walking speed.  WALKING. SPEED.  Every point-and-click needs this. I almost forgive this entire game its increasingly bizarre tone just for that slider.  I would sell my left arm to have that in The Longest Journey – as much as I love that game.  But even counting that slider, this too must fall into Tier Two.

Blackwell Epiphany

This game has some of the best art of the series – and more importantly, it has widescreen resolutions.  Well, a widescreen resolution. Did I mention that all the previous games run at 640×480?  This one runs at 640×400. Apparently, HD is a foreign concept even in 2013.

Even so, the wonderful art doesn’t entirely forgive the definite changes in tone. This is certainly the most “film noir” of the series, but that doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the series.  Especially when you compare Legacy to Epiphany, you wonder where the tone shift of the last two games came from.  Epiphany has ghosts ripped apart, child ghosts, suicide, prostitution, and more. It really feels too much like an attempt to have a serious (and bittersweet) ending.  Worse yet, several main plot points aren’t resolved and the epilogue throws in a strange twist not even hinted at previously that entirely invalidates the plot progression from the previous game. I should clarify that I’m not complaining because everything didn’t end up perfect for everyone – I’m a sucker for bittersweet endings.  I’m complaining because the ending didn’t make sense and didn’t fit in with the information given to us in previous games.  It avoids Tier Three because it is pretty and does provide some touching moments.  At least they kinda fixed the spiritual realm art:

And now that I’m thinking about it, this scene’s art has quite the Doctor Strange vibe (though mostly I just wanted to use this screenshot).

The Series

From a mechanical standpoint, the Blackwell series isn’t particularly impressive. Visual cues are often lost in the backdrop and important mechanics don’t always act the way you want.  None of the puzzles really stood out, preferring to blend into the story.  That’s a stylistic choice, and I can respect that – but it does make the few puzzles which require video-gamey logic particularly immersion-breaking.  This improved in later games, but there were still a few strange leaps of logic to be made, and the requirement that you talk to everyone about a subject five to six times particularly grates.

I liked the characters, and the overarching story was engaging enough to motivate me to finish the series.  That being said, the tone shifts unnecessarily in the final two games: introducing elements that really don’t fit into the earlier mythos in an effort to make it more serious. Lovecraftian horror I can get behind, but the grimdark turn this game takes… I cannot. If you just play the games with Nishanthi in them (which would be the first and third ones), you’ll be fine.

 

Steam link (1-4)

Steam link (Epiphany)

Dark Messiah of Might & Magic

Chezni already reviewed this, so I’ll spare you the details.  Suffice to say that as a Source-based RPG, Dark Messiah isn’t bad.  Here’s an analogy to explain: I recently watched a movie called Hudson Hawk, starring Bruce Willis.  It was an interesting movie – sort of a cross between Die Hard and The Fifth Element.  It wasn’t the best movie ever (and it wasn’t as good as either Die Hard or The Fifth Element), but it tried something new and was an overall decent movie with a couple great scenes.  In the same way, Dark Messiah isn’t bad (though the running animations are hilariously bad) – it has some interesting interaction with your environment (kick everything).  It wasn’t terribly long or unique plot-wise, but at least it tried something new.  It scrapes its way into Tier One because it isn’t Risen and because you can kick everything (though the platforming is still terrible).  My only real problem with it is its serious fascination with spiders.  So.  Many.  Spiders.

And, because Chezni took the dark path: I took the light path.  Interestingly, I found the succubus’ voice annoying (though occasionally amusing) and your companion likable but underdeveloped.  Dark Messiah definitely falls into the trap of “female interest likes you because the plot says so.”  There is practically no development for Leanna (and the Succubus is mostly a tutorial voice), which was a bit disappointing.  They really could have done quite a bit with both of those characters as they follow you on your adventures, but then the game would need to also be twice as long (which would not be a bad thing).

 

Nevertheless, as for my endings:

Yeah…they’re all pretty much the same.  The only difference is that whats-her-name is with you instead of the Succubus.  I mean, she doesn’t tempt you to rule the world.  But the no-succubus demon-father ending is exactly the same as the one Chezni mentioned with the succubus.  The “good” ending (with Leanna and re-chaining your father) is equally disappointing – perhaps more so since the narrator essentially says “and the fate is still unknown” – so your entire effort was for naught.

Ah well.  I can’t say I didn’t enjoy my time, or that I didn’t wish I could spend some more – which is why it stays in Tier One.

Deadcore (Completed)

So I don’t have any fancy screenshots for this one, but I had to throw my two cents in here along with Lepcis’s, because he brought up some good points. For what it is, Deadcore is a fantastic game certainly deserving of Tier 1. It’s fast, it’s smooth, it has tons of paths to choose from and its five levels are more than enough to keep you entertained, especially if you’re going for some of those top scores (although level 4 can still go to the place of fiery burning). If you couldn’t tell from our Deadcore contest, we had a friendly competition to see if we could beat each other’s times, all the while sharing our pathing to collaborate to find a faster and faster route through the level.

While I’ve loved speedrunning as a concept for many years and have watched no small number of them (what game-lover hasn’t), Deadcore was the first one that I got into hands-on. The experience was great and it really opened my eyes to many facets of speedrunning. One that really stuck out to me was that the thrill of the run didn’t come from the prospect of beating a high score time, but instead from beating your own best time.

Ultimately though, it has awakened me to what makes a “good” speedrunning game. Take for instance Zelda OoT. One of Nintendo’s most beloved titles, this game has been speedran to death. In fact, it’s gotten so ridiculous that last I checked, the fastest time involved messing with variables so that the use of Queen Ghoma’s door instantly won you the game. While from a technical perspective and possibly from a fan’s perspective, this is very entertaining. However, from a gameplay or speedrunning standpoint, it’s not that interesting. After all, where’s the contest? Will the judge of who is a better OoT runner be who can subtly input the variables switches ever-so-slightly faster so that they have a .01 second better time? This isn’t really that interesting to the player or the viewer once the concept has been understood and ultimately fails to capture just what OoT is all about.

In line with what Lepcis was saying about the RNG within Deadcore. The cubes are an RNG that produces inconsistent results. Jump pads (while technically not RNG) are so imprecisely manipulatable that they become an unreliant method of traveling through the game–and yet, if you want to get the fastest time, you must make a run at the level hundreds (if not thousands) of times so that you can “get lucky” and nail all of the ridiculously precise “bugs” of the game to get the perfect time. Slope-dashing and Super/Mega Jumping are interesting ideas, but as they were not really intended to be part of the game (and are so difficult to pull off consistently) that they just turn the game into a set of variable manipulations instead of executing strategies related to the purpose of the game’s initial intent (just like the problem with OoT). Not to mention the fact that a slope-dash into Mega Jump on the pad after the door on Level 1 skips most of the level. If that’s the case, what’s the point in the level existing at all? This was a big reason Lepcis and I outlawed Mega Jumping.

It’s not that Deadcore developers did nothing. They removed rocket-jump-chaining (an even more notorious bug) in order to make the game more competitive. I feel though that within reason, if a game is to truly devote itself to speedrunning, then no bug or feature of the game should completely override or remove other parts of the game unless it does so within the expected and encouraged mechanics of the game. I do not blame speedrunners at all for searching for, using and abusing glitches within games in order to accomplish a faster time–I merely feel that a pure speedrun game would be constantly updated to remove these exploits until eventually what you were left with was a game that you truly had to play and the victor of “best time” would go to those that understood the game and its entirety the best, not just the person who could macro a Mega Jump script.

Steam Link

Dungeons & Dragons: Daggerdale (Completed)

 

First Impression Review

Last I left off (just yesterday) I shared my feelings on D&D:D’s success as a Real-Time Fantasy Adaptation hack and slash game. A mere 5 hours into the game, I find myself at the ending, not particularly surprised by the short game but not necessarily left with a feeling of having my time wasted. The plot is simple, rushed and not important, so we’ll start with that first to get it out of the way.

 

–Spoiler Alert–

As the introduction would let you know, you play as a member of a group of adventurers summoned by Lorin Aria (presumably a cleric) who implores the party to destroy Rezlus’s tower. Rezlus, being a crazy wizard who worships the god Bane, is planning on destroying Daggerdale. The game kicks off underground with the Dwarves, where you run around doing various odd-quests largely involving goblins in order to gain their aid to allow you access to the tower. If you don’t like being underground in dark environments, you had better get used to it since you’ll be underground and in caves for for most of the game.

 

 

Eventually, after appeasing the side-quest gods, the Dwarves manage to sneak you into Rezlus’s tower, whereupon you are immediately captured by Tieflings and forced to fight in a gladiator pit alongside some “friendly” human brigands. Eventually the brigands team up with the heroes and after repelling multiple Tiefling attacks, they establish a base in the area. The third leg of the journey involves gaining the “trust” of a group of Zents (a race apparently even less trustworthy than the Drow) and they agree to open a portal that allows access to Rezlus at the top of his tower. Atop the tower, the four groups (Dwarves, Brigands, Zents and your party) engage Rezlus and his army, eventually forcing his hand to summon a red dragon.

 

 

Weakening the dragon and finishing off Rezlus, Rezlus commands the red dragon with his dying breath to burn Daggerdale to the ground. With no other choice, the party leaps off the tower and on to the back of the dragon, where you must climb up its back and eventually plunge your weapon into the dragon’s eye, ending its flight.

 

 

Teleported back to the top of the tower by Lorin Aria (the cleric from the beginning) she begins to thank the heroes, when Nezra, the leader of the Zents puts a blade in her back. Nezra thanks the heroes for dispatching Rezlus, but informs them that if their intent is to stop the destruction of Daggerdale, they will have to kill her and every last Zent, since it is her goal to take over the tower and the surrounding area. The game ends on a cliff-hanger, with the Zent army pouring into the tower from below, and the four party members preparing for another campaign of combat.

 

 

While the plot of D&D:D succeeds in moving the game along quickly, there are some big problems with it. First off, about 60% of the game is spent with the Dwarves doing their quests. If the game was about 20 hours long, 3 hours per section of the game would be perfect–long enough to get to know the area its problems, but not too long to make the quest-givers and their setting stale. In a 5-hour game though, it just makes the last two people groups you encounter feel rushed. The time spent with the brigands and Zents is so short that it makes me think that either the developer’s time was mismanaged, or funding was cut and they had to rush the game out unfinished.

 

 

Problem #2 with the plot is the cliffhanger ending–it’s lazy and stupid. We all know there’s not going to be a sequel to this game. We all know that the cliffhanger wasn’t used to be thought-provoking. It was used as a desperate last hurrah to create some kind of excitement or interest within the game before it finally petered out. This kind of cliffhanger use isn’t appreciated at all by any intelligent player and it only robs the player of their deserved victory. Ultimately, the adventure feels pointless.

 

 

Generally though, we play a hack & slash to mash a couple buttons, slay hordes of monsters and feel good about ourselves, and on this front D&D:D is pretty strong. When I wrote in my first impression there’s enough selection to create distinction” I may have been a tad optimistic. While there is a nice handful of skills that you’ll acquire along in your adventure, it’s more that the “choice” is in the one skill that you choose not to obtain when you level up, since there aren’t enough skills to really diversify class style. The level bar is pretty low as well. I ended the game at level 8 and from what I can tell, about level 10 is where most of the skill progression cuts out, making replayability (even in the new-game + mode) not that viable. That being said, I loved rolling around, bopping creatures with several flavors of arrow skills and managing my equipment to my tastes (movement speed and rolling cooldown to the max!).

 

 

In spite of any negatives, I feel that the game is still worth Tier 1. Why? Well because what little we get is still good. Would I prefer more skills? Yes. Would I like a longer game? Sure. But did I still have fun? Yes, and ultimately that is a large point of playing a game in the first place. In some ways it made me think back to days spent playing Golden Axe, especially Golden Axe: The Revenge of Death Adder, what with riding the back of a dragon at the end. Now that I think of it, Knights of the Round, a game similar to Golden Axe even had a shallow leveling up system that capped out somewhere in the mid-teens. If you look at D&D:D more along these lines, it’s length and shallow complexity is very reminiscent of the old adventure games–games that you would plug and play with your friends for a couple hours, beat, feel accomplished and depart from with a feeling of good times.

 

 

That’s probably where this game rests the strongest. It’s not a great game, it’s not a quality game and it’s not a long game, but if you have five hours where you want to go out, kill some monsters, grab some treasure–and you perhaps have 3 other friends with you to play local–then this could be a lot of fun. Just don’t invest yourself too strongly in it, as it’s not deep enough to warrant doing so. I still stand that I had a good time, and I definitely recommend it to anyone with time to waste on a decent hack & slash or even those wanting to break into the genre due to D&D:D’s simplicity.

Steam Link

Eversion

Eversion is a game about hailing the dark lord collecting gems in a post-apocalyptic cthulhu-esque happy little meadow, somewhat reminiscent of another game.  This is both a first impression and a full review, since I finished the game in under an hour.  Well, technically, I got the “bad” ending, but I didn’t really feel like doing all the work to get the “good” ending.  Eversion is based on an interesting concept – the slow decay of the world around you as you traverse what I assume are different time periods in each area.  Unfortunately, it’s too short – and getting the good ending requires quite a bit of additional effort.  While that wouldn’t normally be so terrible, the main draw of the game is your first experience.  When you are forced to go back and get every collectible skull gem, it quickly becomes just a chore since the mechanics aren’t terribly new or remarkably executed.  If it were longer and had more branches, I think it would be a solid Tier One.  As it is, it must go into Tier Two.

DeadCore

DeadCore has an interesting problem.  Or, rather, two problems.  The first is that cubes spawn randomly.  The second is that wall clipping is possible.  These may seem like very obscure or minor complaints, but they are significant.  You see, DeadCore is a speedrunning game.  It’s a fantastic platformer, with at least 20 different paths in each level.  There may only be five levels, but finding new paths or perfecting the ones you know can keep you playing for many hours.  Each level is a new height of difficulty – introducing new mechanics or asking you to perform previous tasks faster and more precisely (though sometimes with just a bit too few save points in between).

But this is also where wall clipping – and some other minor bugs – are a real problem.  Being a speedrunning game means executing actions extremely precisely – repeatedly.  Except where you expect there to be RNG (I really hate those cubes), the same actions should produce the same results.  But more often than should be, you’ll find yourself clipped into a wall or hitting a jumpad that doesn’t send you as high as it does 97% of the time.  And then the run is ruined though no fault of your own – and you have to start over.  DeadCore was made by a small team (six people, I believe) for an 7-day FPS challenge, so I’m willing to let these bits slide.  Even so, I do wish they had been able to spend another six months working out those last few bugs.

Other than that complaint, Deadcore is wonderful.  The controls are precise, the myriad paths are fun to discover and complete just a little bit faster each time.  It’s well worth the $10, and I highly recommend it as speedrunning at its purest.  The only thing more I could have wished for was a level editor.

Steam link

Paper Sorceror (Completed)

 

First Impression Review

I can happily tell you that my initial impression of our paper-pushing magician was not misplaced. Paper Sorcerer’s balance, difficulty and tactical combat is indeed in line with the Shin Megami series and even though it is not a perfect game, it did not fail to impress me on several fronts.

 

 

–Spoiler Alert–

Sadly, while the plot was not at all terrible, pretentious or filled with plot holes, it was the part of the game that had the most missed potential, along with the lore and world-building. The game starts off with a lot of intriguing sights and conversations and even some clever ideas. Ideas such as the currency of a world being gems that allow prisoners of the book to look on the world outside, escape from the librum prison being dependent on breaking the book’s stitching in the spine, and mystical personifications like “the spirit of the book.” While concepts like these don’t disappear entirely, as you play the game, they become much less frequent or impressive and/or just start repeating themselves by around levels 2-9 (there are 10 levels).

 

 

If you remember, we left off with the Sorcerer (the player) being imprisoned in a magic book by four heroes at the petition of the king of the land. You awoke in the book’s prison and were set free by a strange woman known as “The Spirit of the Book,” and I ended upon the musing of whether she was going to to betray us. Well, continuing on, you eventually figure out that the Spirit of the Book was actually the book’s first prisoner–a powerful sorceress named El who had taken over nearly half the continent when she was stopped by her lover. Her lover, concerned for her sanity, obtained the imprisoning book with help from the king, and managed to seal her away in it with the hopes of releasing her later when he had the ability to convince her to stop becoming a power-hungry tyrant. Time passed though, and for an unexplained reason he was never able to carry out this task.

 

 

As you travel through the book’s pages, all of the combat that you encounter are actually the guards from the ages who have agreed to seal themselves inside the book to act as immortal gate-keepers. While its not explicitly stated within the game, I think there is good evidence to support that whenever a guardian dies, their soul is sent to the catacombs (an optional 9-level dungeon) whereupon they wander around and you can encounter them again. The fact that the non-catacomb levels of the book have finite scripted battles but the catacomb has infinite random battles adds fuel to the idea’s fire.

 

 

Aware of your escape attempt, the four heroes who originally sealed you into the prison agree to enter the book and begin guarding the seals themselves. One by one you’ll encounter them and gain your chance to enact your revenge for their imprisoning you. Each level’s boss (whether it was a hero that sealed you or not) has some sort of dialogue that gives you hints about who the guardian is and what their motives are. The dialogue with the heroes was especially exciting and really added a sense of conflict between you and your enemy.

 

 

Eventually, the Sorcerer will make his/her way to the final floor, where they’ll fight the resurrected forms of the bosses from the previous levels, including all four heroes at once. Stepping foot towards the final seal in the book’s spine, the Sorcerer will encounter the Archon, the very life-force of the book itself. Upon the Archon’s defeat, it is revealed that it is actually a pseudo-copy of El’s lover. You see, as you journey through the book, you can find several journals scattered throughout the book’s floors. Reading them reveals that the creation something such as the book-prison can leave an impression of the creator inside the book, especially if its creation is fueled by a strong emotion such as love. El’s lover, being the one who created the book, left an impression of himself in the book in the form of the Archon. Before delivering the final blow, El runs to the Archon’s side and begs you not to kill the false-image of her lover. You can choose yes or no (I chose yes) and you go to break the final seal of the book.

 

 

Finally freed, everyone in the book steps outside to find that the book was in a… modern day bookstore. It is mentioned that time passes differently inside the book than outside and it appears the tome that sealed away these powerful creatures had lain forgotten for several hundred years on a dusty bookshelf. The journey over and a new journey just begun, the game then gives you a quick sentence or two explaining what you and each of your chosen summoned allies did in the newfound world. The best one was probably my Vampire who, according to the game, eventually became depressed with his immortality and loneliness and became popular on the internet by writing angsty poetry about living forever.

 

 

The best part about this game by far though, are its mechanics and balance. Back in the 90’s, you could get away with a lot when it came to RPGs because most of us nerds were desperate to get our hands on anything with stats and an EXP bar. It was acceptable back then to have a completely linear, poorly strategic combat system. For instance, in Dragon Warrior I, you only have one party member, you can’t change how he levels up or gains skills in any way and victory is largely dependent on having high levels and good equipment not because of strategy–but that was okay back then. Nowadays though, if you want to break into the RPG scene, your combat usually needs to be more detailed than this. There needs to be a good realm of strategy and it helps if that strategy is unique to your game. Paper Sorcerer delivers on both of these fronts hard.

 

 

First, off the combination of your allies, the way you obtain them, the way their equipment is managed (with each ally not only having things they can and can’t equip but also having completely different equipment slots) is unique. The Energy system which functions as your MP and the way you manage it is unique. The way that the Defense stat is handled is unique. While similar kinds of strategies may exist within classes and character from other games, the Sorcerer’s and summoned allies’ skills, themes and fighting styles are all unique. Oh, and the balance. OH the balance.

 

 

I was worried when I was allowed to choose my allies from a list of 15 (that’s right, fifteen) because I figured that the developer was setting themselves up for a broken balancing nightmare mess-of-a-game. Considering that you can only use 3 allies at a time plus the Sorcerer, I was rather concerned that one of two things were going to happen. Either A: the allies were all going to be bland copies of each other with only vague hints at differences between them or B. there was no way in Hell that this game was balanced and that some allies were going to be hilariously broken, while other allies were going to be useless. I don’t know how, and I’m a little scared to consider the amount of time that must have been spent to achieve this outcome but neither A nor B is true. How is that possible? This game was primarily made by one person. He had no clue which 3 party members I was going to choose and he offered me 15! Yet, somehow, all of my party members were valuable, balanced and unique. Oh, and did I mention that half-way through the game you get to choose a specialization class for the sorcerer? Because you can choose a specialization class for the sorcerer.

 

 

Just for the record, I chose Arch Magus, Shadow, Troll, and Vampire, with the vampire probably being my favorite. While I admit that it may be possible that there’s a party combination that is better than another, I can say that with this party my difficulty curve was near-perfect. Each level of the dungeon became a little harder and I had to think a little more to get my party to squeak out just a bit more damage or defend themselves a bit better. Oh yeah, that’s another thing. Defense. It’s actually a thing in this game. In probably 90% of all the take-turn RPGs I’ve played, status inducing, buff and debuff spells are all worthless. It’s usually because they’re horrendously weak, the combat is over so quickly that there’s no point in using them or all the enemies that you would actually use them on are completely immune to them. Paper Sorcerer on the other hand? I was blinding bosses, shielding party members and strategically buffing the team throughout the entire game. It was very rare that I ever got a skill that I didn’t use in some way to get a needed edge.

 

 

Paper Sorcerer is just a good game and is a balance/mechanic-lover’s playground. It’s not a perfect game–there are typos, minor bugs, the combat can be a bit slow and on rare occasions (mostly on floor 10) you might lose a fight at little fault to yourself. Sitting here, considering everything else that’s awesome about this game, I’m having trouble stopping myself from playing through a second time with a completely different party. Paper Sorcerer in its completion comes recommended at a full Tier 1 for its unique visuals, somewhat interesting story and its amazing combat. Any fan of take-turn RPGs will find this to be a treat and it might make fans of some who’ve never even played the genre before.

Steam Link

 

Skyrim (Completed) – Chezni’s Take

Yes. But.

Unless you lived on some remote electricity void mountain located in some impossibly pronounced country like Arstotzka” (*ahem,* your papers please) then you must have heard the word Skyrim at least once in your life, even if it was whispered out of the mouths of a huddle of the deepest darkest nerds in your frequented place of gathering. Skyrim, took the gaming world by force and its influence is so incredibly powerful that in spite of it being six years old, Bethesda is in no hurry to release the sixth Elder Scrolls game, instead re-releasing the fifth one twice. Ask your average gamer if Skyrim is good and you’ll get a resounding “YES!” from not just the person you asked but also anyone else in the room who’s played the game. I suppose that makes Lepcis and I the un-average gamer, since we might respond with, “Yes but–” There is always a but. Is the world incredibly large? “Yes but–” Does the player have complete freedom over how they level up their character? “Yes but–” Are there tons of magical monsters and creatures? “Yes but–” Are there countless quests and dungeons? “Yes. But.”

It’s difficult to critique this game, for any time you speak out against it, it seems foolish in consideration of the mountain of content that the game presents. A critic of your critique may sarcastically respond “Oh, I’m sorry over 1,000 NPCs wasn’t enough for you,” or “I’m sorry you got bored doing over 400 quests spanning hundreds of hours of content.” The fact is, trying to say anything bad about Skyrim is almost like trying to file a complaint with Mother Theresa–something that is well within your right to do I supposed, but very hard to make stick.

However, I am here to submit that very statement to you. I am here to tell you, that Skyrim in many glaring ways is not a good game. You may disagree with me–and that is completely valid. You may overlook the issues I have with the game and frankly, your tastes may just be different than mine. In spite of this, whether you agree with me or not, I hope to make pleasant conversation, bringing light to several aspects of the game that I find fault with, that ultimately would lead me to not recommend this game to anyone, placing it into Tier 3.

 

(*sigh* Fine, here’s the obligatory caveat dammit; if you have access to mods, then the game is a clean Tier 1 but shutup you, those don’t exist for now.)

 

As it stands, I am a much more a mechanics/immersion driven player, and as such I shall focus more on these topics while I discuss the game. Skyrim is complex enough that you could write an entire book on the subject (considering that Skyrim itself also has several “books” written within it as well) so it helps to limit the scope for the sake of conciseness. If, however, you wish you read up on a viewpoint differing from mine, Lepcis approaches the game from a much more narrative/lore angle found here. Otherwise, prepare yourselves for a primary analyses of Skyrim’s mechanics with a secondary overview of immersion.

 

Why are Mechanics Important?

Mechanics are important because they are a game’s differentiating characteristic from itself and other forms of media. Don’t get me wrong, a game often needs a good story, but a good story on its own is just that–a story. A game often benefits from attractive or stylistic visuals, but attractive or stylistic visuals on their own are just art. Similarly, a game needs a great soundtrack to rest in the back of everything that’s going on within the game, but a great soundtrack on its own is just music. A ball tied to string tied to a cup though? That is a game. A 3 x 3 grid to soon be filled in with X’s and O’s? That is a game. An empty recyclable bottle that is spun in a circle? This too, is a game. The fact is, that without a game’s mechanics–without the rules and the required objects governed by those rules–you don’t have a game, you have pictures or sound or words and so on. These things can be combined to add to a game and make a good game fantastic, but on their own they simply represent themselves. We often use the word “game” to imply the final product of all these things wrapped up into one bundle but truly the mechanics are the “game” part of the game. They are the part that is played. You can’t “play” art. You can’t “win” music. Therefore, borrowing from what was said above, we can make these two statements:

 

A game is a set of mechanics.

Game mechanics are the combination of a set of rules and the things governed by those rules. 

 

In this way, a game can be about music if the music is governed by a set of rules, such as in Guitar Hero. Likewise a game can be about art if the art is governed by a set of rules, such as in Pictionary and so forth. Once again, music is not the game, nor is art, but the game’s mechanics can be structured around both. This has always been a point of my own contention when discussing “games” with people. Someone might tell me that “Her Story,” is a “good game.” Her Story is a terrible game–it barely qualifies as a point-and-click adventure, the mechanics are tedious after a while and there is no defined purpose for the player to fulfill. However, I would probably respond to the person I was talking to with, “Yeah, it was definitely an interesting game. I’m not quite sure what the message was, but it was a fun way to spend an hour.” You see, we actually aren’t talking about Her Story as a game at all, even though that’s how we’re referring to it. What we’re really saying is that Her Story is an engaging interactive media experience that we both enjoyed.

Over the years the definition of “game” has melted, similar to René Descartes’ famous “Wax Argument.” At what point does the melting wax of a candle set by the fireside cause it to cease becoming a candle? Likewise, at what point does the conjoining of various add-ons to a game cause it to cease being a game? Or even further; at what point does the very word we use to describe the idea of a set of rules and the things governed by those rules become false?

–Enter Rabbit Hole–

Now it is true that some might say, “But there are many rules and things that are governed by them that aren’t games.” Well, with the exclusion of Rules, or Laws, of Nature (“You win again gravity!“) do not all rules have a winner or a loser? Have we not taken the mundane rules of our world and turned them into a game? What is “Papers Please” if not a game about surviving the oppressive nature of a communistic government? What is “Cooking Mama” if not a game about preparing food? What is “Surgeon Simulator?” We don’t use language to describe it as such, but does a doctor not “win” if he saves his patient? Does an artist not “win” if she releases a successful album? Some may say, “Life is just a game,” to mean that everything is a joke and nothing matters but I say anyway, “Life is a game!” We have goals, objectives, quests, adventures, misadventures, setbacks, downfalls, struggles, obstacles and ultimately an ending. If “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players,” then how are we not players of the world’s stage-like game?

At some point though, the concept of “game” became lost with the explosion of the gaming market. I will not sit here and argue with you that “The Stanley Parable” is a bad game. I will argue however, that calling the Stanley Parable a “game” is a misnomer. After all, it’s called a “walking simulator” for a reason–primarily all you do is move your perspective from one location of a slightly interactive world to another. Stated again, the conflict is that what we are talking about when we refer to the Stanley Parable is not a game but an “interactive media experience.” When I was five years old, I had a computer program that told a story if you clicked on enough of the little pictures to make it continue. I didn’t call it game, it didn’t call itself a game, and in fact, it wasn’t a game. Nowadays, products like this get released on Steam and the like all the time and word “game” is applied to them without a second thought.

–Exit Rabbit Hole–

So now return and answer the question “Why are mechanics important?” Why, because life is important! But realistically, it is because mechanics are the life of a game. They must be changed, adapted, filtered, mended, tempered, discarded and created in order for a game to thrive, just as a person must do the same things to themselves if they are to live in this world. Basketball is not the same game it was 50 years ago. Mario is not the same game it was 25 years ago. Even Chess, one of our oldest currently-played games is still technically changing. After all, the idea of playing chess against anyone across the world within a couple seconds without actually touching real pieces may have seemed like science fiction to our grandparents but today, we can do just that. This only creates very minor mechanical changes (there is no longer any argument concerning the “when your hand has left the piece” and you don’t have to physically “hit” a timer to end your turn, as the program does so automatically), but they are still changes nonetheless. Mechanics are important because they are the very structure of what a game is, spanning across and beyond human history. Without mechanics there can be no game. Without mechanics, there is no motivation, no goal–absolutely nothing at all.

 

Wasn’t This Supposed to Be About Skyrim?

You can probably see where I’m going with this, but yes, let’s look back at Skyrim. Skyrim may be an entertaining “interactive media experience,” but it is, at best, something that only simulates a game. Large portions of the “game experience” are artificial. Rules are communicated very poorly to the player, if they are ever communicated at all. Balance of the game’s mechanics range from mediocre to down-right awful. Counterplay in certain circumstances is almost completely removed. The worst part about it–the part that makes me grind my teeth the most when I try to critique this game–is that the world absolutely loves Skyrim and that worries me as a mechanics-devoted gamer. It worries me because I think that I must live in a world where my fellow gamer does not desire quality, only the illusion of quality. I feel alone in that instead of recognizing the falsehoods of easily accessed grandeur and inorganic replicated “challenges,” the majority of the gaming world wants to be spoon-fed their magnificence from a prosthetic arm.

Look, if I’m honest, there are plenty of crap games out there with bunk mechanics that offer immediate gratuity for less-than-authentic repetitive action. Sometimes you just want to play a game that gives you sword (or in my case a staff), puts you in a field with monsters and progressively gives you a bigger and bigger sword after you’ve wacked the monsters enough times. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying this kind of game as long as the player understands what’s going on. It’s sort of like a box of Little Debbie’s snack cakes. If you’re hungry, have a few dollars and are short on time, a box of corn-syrup, pre-processed flour, powdered sugar treats are probably going to be awesome. You would never make the claim that Little Debbies had somehow managed to reach the Nirvana of baking–you probably wouldn’t even claim that they were healthy for you or made of wholesome ingredients–but for what they are they taste good in small doses. The same can be said for games of the pre-described nature.

The problem is that Skyrim isn’t described, seen or even rationalized in this way. Instead it’s seen as this Nirvana, this golden pinnacle of gaming that somehow only the “best” games can reach and the rest must settle in the lowly dredges of non-accomplishment. The masses overlook its cardboard-cut-out nature, its shallow design. Sometimes I feel like a conspiracy theorist or a street-preacher when I complain about it. Enough though; I’ve done a lot of blabbering with little backup, so let’s get into the core of some the actual mechanics themselves so I can show you what I mean.

 

Questing – Show Don’t Tell

Quests are horrible. This may come as a bit of a shock to you, but I’m going to say it again. Quests. Of any kind. AreHorrible. And this is why.

My favorite game to this day, is Lands of Lore II. I’m not sure whether it’s as good as I think it is, or if I developed a pseudo-Stockholm syndrome-esque attachment to it after doing nothing but locking myself up in my room and playing it for two weeks straight after the death of my father. Either way, I have so many good things to say about it. The world is beautiful, the characters are engaging and the plot is interesting. More than anything though, I loved getting lost in the world. The game never told you what to do or where to go. Well, I mean sure, there was a plot that gave general agency to the meaning of your actions but the best part about LoL II is just wandering around and discovering things that are hidden in clever and meaningful ways.

Sometimes the things discovered were big but oftentimes they are small. A lightning crystal hidden in the water here, a tiny cave exposed by draining a small pond there–outside of the game’s extremely light “tutorial,” every single thing you find in the game is your own. The game never points you towards any of it, save for the very clues to the puzzle’s answer themselves. Nowadays they would be considered “side quests,” but there are plenty of optional characters to talk to and little “quests” (by the definition of the word) that you can go on but at no point is a reward guaranteed or necessarily implied. The point of doing these quests was simply to discover more of the world. While the motivation to complete them may have been to discover what you’ll get out of it, the acquisition of a new thing was only secondary to how it was obtained. A skeleton key may be stolen from a fellow thief, a dagger may be given to a lost son, a charm may be unearthed from a locked temple; none of these things are mandatory in the game but upon doing them the game becomes more complex and more interesting.

How horrible LoL II would have been if each time something interesting happened, the game had to tell me that I should find it interesting. How horrible would it be if instead of being allowed to discover the interesting bits of the world, the game merely activated variables which gave me access to pieces of text which just laid out all the interesting parts of the locations I visited. The mystery of discovering new things would be lost. The control of being allowed to guide my own hand to my own destiny would be gone. The thrill of finding a new way to solve a quest that you thought was binary would evaporate. “Quests,” as they commonly exist in modern day games ruin large portions of what makes a good game by falling into the trap of telling instead of showing.

Humans are rather finite–we can only take in so much of something before what we already have up in our noggin starts to leak out when we try to put more in there. This is why initially a quest log may seem appealing for both the game player and the designer. “Oh boy, I’ll never forget what I need to do!” says the player. “Oh boy, they won’t get frustrated from not knowing what to do!” says the designer. The truth is, if your game relies heavily on a quest log, there’s probably something wrong with your game.

You see, if your (designer’s) quest is worth making, the player should want to finish it whether the game is telling them to or not. It won’t matter if it’s game-critical. It won’t matter if they get a reward. Your player will look at it and say “I want to do that. I need to know what happens from that. I need to discover that,” and then they will go out and do it. They don’t need to be told to do something. They shouldn’t be told to do something. A player doesn’t turn on a game to be told what to do, a player should turn on a game and be inspired by it to the point where they want to go out and do those things on their own. A player turns on a game to discover a new world for a little while–to be shown a world of adventure, not be told about it. A quest log is nothing more than a to-do list. It bleaches all the fun out of the game by removing any and all forms of self-motivated discovery. It immediately divides all information the player is receiving into two kinds of categories: information that I can get something from and information I can’t get something from and they will never have to think about which is which.

Hear a story about a drunken bartender? Well, it didn’t get added to my quest log, so it’s worthless. Vague mentioning of some kind of gem that I wasn’t really paying attention to? Immediately got added to my quest log in addition to where I need to go to find it, so it must be important. I cannot stress enough how bad of a mechanic this is–how horrible a method of player dictation this is. You’re literally telling the player what they should think is interesting and uninteresting instead of showing the player what is interesting and trusting them. As a designer, you need to have enough confidence in your creation that the player will want  discover the things they think are interesting on their own. Quest logs simply cater to an audience that is too impatient or too stupid to invest themselves into something.

What’s worse is that it ruins the game’s immersion. Players feel this constant pressure to be accomplishing quests and if they aren’t following the pre-laid footsteps of a quest’s pathing they feel as if they aren’t accomplishing anything, which is criminal. A player should feel like each step they take into the unknown is accomplishing something. They should feel that each creature they slay, big or small, hard or easy is a worthy task. Quests logs instead make the player switch “quest on” and “quest off,” which takes away any need the player’s need to think. Players immediately know when a quest ends if it finishes in their log. They know when a quest begins when it gets entered into their log. There’s no uncertainty or anticipation or ability to make your own decisions concerning what you as a player think is worth your time.

When we slay the Talamar at the college, we know he’s dead because the quest told us it was finished. Imagine if the game didn’t tell us–we might be confident that things have wrapped up or we might think, “What if he comes back? What if he finds a way to seek revenge? Is this truly the end?” When we defend a stronghold from the damn rebel scum (because Ulfric is a dick and no one should side with him) we immediately know when the attack is finished and when we can just completely drop our guard, because the quest told us so. We don’t have to think “what if there’s another attack” or “maybe there is a remainder of the guards that I missed planning to sneak in?” No, it’s just a flip to your quest log which says “Yup, you killed all the things, now go back to a camp so you can go to another X,Y coordinate and kill more things.”

Skyrim isn’t the only game that suffers from this, but just consider the effect it has on the world. Reading anything in the game is no longer a method of uncovering the mysteries of the world internally–if what you were reading was important, it gets added to your quest log. Otherwise, you can just throw it away and forget about it. Rumors or stories that you hear characters say are immediately forgotten if they don’t trigger a quest. What’s the point of remembering them? Emphasis in the game isn’t placed on discovery or morality or even just a decency to help people–it’s replaced with getting the blasted check box in your to-do list marked off so you can get your reward and move on to the next one! Any thing you discover in the world–anything that isn’t quest related or doesn’t have a reward attached to it–immediately feels less valuable in this kind of system. All the little detail in Skyrim is overshadowed by the desire to follow the pattern of “do thing, get thing.”

Players want to do something interesting. They want to go on an adventure–they want to change their world and they want to grow stronger. If all of the quests in your game are so numerous and so forgettable that you feel you must rely on an auto-filling quest-book to motivate the player to do them, then you should have never made them at all. A player who is inspired by your world will find something to do on their own. They will remember the things that interested them or excited them and they will venture out into the fantasy world to be their conqueror. Once they’ve completed the things that interested them the most, if you did your job right, they will hunger for more and dive back into the collection of interesting things you’ve set up for them to do. You need to let the players choose what they care about and what they deem worth their time. A quest-book sends the message to the player that they have to do everything. They have to do all the chores and if you’ve played Skyrim for more than a few hours, you really start to feel like all those quests piling up are just that–chores. Frankly, if your quest wasn’t interesting enough for the player to remember and complete on their own volition, it’s either because they were too busy being engaged by some other awesome quest that you put into the game (which is a good thing), or because your quest is refuse and is so forgettable that it isn’t worth anyone’s time.

 

 

Level Scaling

This is the greatest sinner of the bunch, and it’s probably the most mechanics heavy. Level scaling is the DEVIL. Like, if I die and go to Hell, there’s going to be two things going on. Number 1: I’m going to be in my horrid Walmart uniform stuck at a checkout lane forced to listen to the endlessly repeating commercials on the TV above me and Number 2: every time I get better at some aspect of checking out my customers, something will happen so that my improvement is completely removed. My job will be just as hard as when I started, meaning that my accomplishment meant nothing. Taking a look at the latter, the sad part is, is that’s essentially what game developers are telling you when they make their game’s level scale–you have accomplished nothing. In fact, in some cases, level scaling can create the phenomenal effect of your strength going backwards.

I’ll use a simpler example than Skyrim to show what I mean. Secret of Magia also used level scaling. Admittedly, Secret of Magia is one of the worst, under-designed, non-fleshed out piece of crap games I’ve ever played, but avoiding all of that and looking directly at its level scaling system, it exhibits level scaling’s fatal flaw perfectly. Every time you level up in SoM, every single enemy levels up with you at a fixed and uncapped rate of growth. Since the growth rate is fixed and since the stats are built up the same from level 1, if you disregard your character’s equipment, a fight against a monster at level 1 would be identical to a fight against a monster at level 5. The problem is that when you add in equipment, it becomes a whole new beast.

 

 

The first graph here is a simplification of the player’s power in relation to their level and equipment, versus a monster’s power based on level. As you can see, a level one player with enough equipment to equal two more level’s worth of stats would match up against a scaled enemy with a ratio of 3:1, or 300% power over the enemy. Now let’s add 3 more levels to our player, keeping the equipment power the same because equipment does not scale with level. Now instead of a 3:1 ratio, we have a 3:2 ratio or 150% percent power over the enemy. As you can see, in this instance gaining 3 levels actually cut our character’s power in half which is ridiculous.

Skyrim, (and any game with level scaling really) while more complicated, functions in much the same way under the same principles with an additional few aggravations. The same problem with equipment persists, in that because equipment does not scale and considering that half if not more of the enemies in the game do not wear gear (and I’m not even sure if humanoid enemy’s equipment are actually even factored into a monster’s stats) leveling up still makes you weaker against enemies that scales with you. It gets worse though when you add perks to the mix. The perks on their own are not bad–a bit bland, maybe, but in and of themselves they are not the cause of the problem; the level scaling is. You see, by choosing a non-combative perk, you create the same problem as the equipment dilemma. Want an easier time picking Novice locks? That could have been an extra 10% damage on your axe swing, or it could have been halving the cost of your Adept Destruction Magick, allowing you to cast more spells to deal more damage. By picking the Novice pick lock skill, you are no stronger (aside from the 10 points in HP, MP or Stamina) than you were a level ago, but the foes you face will be one level stronger.

What’s even funnier is how Bethesda tried to band-aid fix this problem. It’s clear that someone in the studio caught wind of this problem and wanted to do something about it but the final product just creates a different problem. You wouldn’t necessarily figure it out just from playing the game, but Skyrim has tiered difficulties for certain enemies and dungeons. They essentially have caps both at the bottom and top of their level ranges so that even if your level is lower or higher than theirs, their level cannot be lower or higher than a certain defined integer. To further muck things about, they also decided to that certain tiered enemies wouldn’t show up until the player was a certain level either. For example, Dungeon ABC contains Bandits and Skeever. The Dungeon itself has a level range of of 10-30. This means that if you go into the dungeon below level 10, all enemies will be at least level 10. If you go into the dungeon above level 30, dungeon enemies will only be level 30. Enemies themselves have their own individual level ranges as well–for instance, maybe the Skeever’s is level 10 while the bandit’s is level 30. This means that Skeevers in the dungeon will always be level 10, but if the player enters in at a level higher than 10, the Skeevers will still remain at level 10. The bandits might be a different story though, since they might have tiered bandit archetypes. At level 15, the “Bandit Ruffian” might appear, and at level 25 the “Bandit Chieftan” might appear.

While in theory, this sounds all fine and well, it’s not in practice. As stated, it is a band-aid solution at best which just introduces different problems. Enemy power rankings are still completely variable with no indication to the player what kind of strength the foe they are facing possesses. A level 1 player who a little while ago was happily killing the level 1 scaled Skeevers near Riverwood may stumble into this dungeon and suddenly be beset upon by murderous level 10 Skeevers that look and act identical to the ones he was fighting previously. A level 24 player may run around the dungeon feeling quite powerful, but a level 25 player will enter the dungeon and struggle against the difficulty spike created by the introduction of the new Bandit Chieftan. Once again, by gaining levels the player is punished with absolutely no indication or warning to the player to the contrary, save for a different enemy text name, one that certainly blends in with all the other tiers of bandits that they’ve likely been encountering.

Developers need to get rid of level scaling forever. It creates complete chaos and inconsistency in the world. The player has no real way of knowing what to expect when they enter into a dungeon–but not in a good way. It’s true, as a general rule, the dungeons around Riverwood are a lower level–but this is just a general rule, and it hardly has much of a pattern outside the Skyrim’s beginning area. The developers delved too greedily and too deep; they pridefully tried to create a game that was completely accessible to low level players while still maintaining some semblance of matched difficulty to the player’s power. Instead what they created was an inconsistent mess that rides wild and unpredictable difficulty spikes that ultimately peter out at around level 40, where at that point most of the dungeons are either relatively scaled to the player power or laughably easy.

The fix for this? Keep the damned enemy’s power level consistent you morons! Quit being afraid that if your player doesn’t have access to each and every location in the game right away that they’ll start whining and quit! With level scaling, there is no progression! It takes as much effort to kill a mammoth at level 5 as it does level 25–why did I even bother gaining the 20 levels in between? It’s no wonder I feel empty inside when I clear out another dungeon, because I know that the game gave me a lukewarm challenge that was tailored to my skill level. There’s no need to be afraid or concerned when walking into a dungeon since I’ll always know that it will be scaled to my level–except when the dungeon’s lower level cap is 20 levels higher than me and I’m getting ROFLstomped by bandits and wizards that look identical to the level 1 bandits and wizards I was fighting in the last dungeon! Just make things consistent in power level–make the giants these foreboding doom-creatures that it really means something when you finally get the ability to kill them. Allow a low-level player to slay smaller spiders with relative ease, but make the massive ones truly deadly!

Once the world becomes consistent to the player, they can begin to gauge the power of the things they are facing in relation to their own power. They can begin to understand which dungeons are heavily guarded and which ones are simply filled with bandit rabble. This kind of balance usually leads to a stronger community base since you have speedrunners and game-breaker enthusiasts banding together and asking each other “Just how can a level 1 creature sneak past the troll?” or “How can I get my level 5 wizard to kill the giants guarding the cave that’s meant for high-level players?”

By creating level-scaling, players will never feel accomplished because they never know what to expect. Enemy names, types and even the models themselves almost become meaningless since they won’t know how strong something until they give it a wack, even if it’s the same monster they’ve encounter time and time again. Level scaling is nothing more than a cheap method for the developers to try to instill an artificial feeling of “balance” in their game, when really all they’re doing is washing their hands free of any kind of progression design or real balance, not to mention the complete way it breaks immersion when I’m never afraid to go anywhere or fight anything at level 1.

 

Combat/Equipment/Balance

Herein are miscellaneous complaints that are worth mentioning, but are not necessarily large enough to require an entire section devoted to them.

Melee Combat in the game is incredibly simple–horribly so. If you are a fighter, it’s swing, swing or swing. You might occasionally block, you might charge up a swing, but in the end, it’s just swing or be swinged.

Archery Combat consists of clipping enemies on rocks or trees and then filling them full of an inordinate amount of missiles while they stand there staring at you.

Magic is a let-down. Not only are spells lackluster, but they are rather barbaric in their straight-forwardness. Lightning is laughably useless unless the enemy is using it on you. Frost is ok, but not really worth it in the face of Fire’s DPS. The starting fire spell is one of the most efficient DPS spells in the game, especially if you stutter cast it, which isn’t even a bug–it’s simply a method of conserving mana while maintaining the same level of DPS. You never truly feel like a powerful wizard, no matter how many points of destruction magic you have. Healing magic has a similar problem–the starting healing spell is the most efficient; why bother using anything else?

Equipment is a joke. Medium armor is pointless–light armor is somewhat useable, but once fully perked there is almost no disadvantage to heavy armor for any character. Since classes don’t exist, any character can wear whatever they want. No need to use your brain when equipping things either since everything is a binary progression up to a higher number for defense. Glass armor will always be better than steel. Steel will always be better than iron. The armors are nothing more than numbers.

The problem mentioned earlier concerning equipment not scaling in relation to the player’s level can actually be abused by players focusing on equipment crafting, giving them an incredibly powerful but artificial power boost. Coupled with enchantments allowing magic to be cast for free in addition with the lackluster scaling on spells means that a player wearing armor that lets them cast spells for free will be nearly as powerful as a wizard who has spent all their perks into magic.

Enemy wizards are extremely broken. At this point, I have played several different types of characters and put my stat points into several different areas. I can tell you that if you play as a wizard, you will never even come close to the strength possessed by enemy wizards. Likewise, in a playthrough where I put every single point I had in HP, I was one-shotted at full ~300HP health by an enemy wizard who was using the level 1 lightning spell.

The only time you will be “challenged” by an enemy in Skyrim is when you face one that can one-shot you, or very nearly so. This isn’t really a challenge, since such an occurrence offers little to no counterplay. Additionally, because of the relatively shallow battle mecahnics, any other kind of fight in the game is brainlessly winnable for several reasons. 1. You probably have enough potions to health-spam your way through an enemy. 2. If you need to, you can just heal with your MP. 3. You probably have enough MP potions to MP-spam your way through an enemy or 4. You probably have enough MP potions to MP-spam-heal your way through an enemy. 5. You can probably just run away and shoot an enemy to death with magic and/or the 1000+ weightless arrows you’re carrying. 6. If you get really desperate, you can eat all that odd food you’re probably carrying from when you accidentally picked it up earlier. 7. You probably have an essential ally that will never die with you that you can use to face-tank. 8. If all else fails, you can just run away, heal and come back again. It’s not like the enemies are going anywhere, or your quest has a time-limit.

Dragons are laughably easy to kill.

Dragons can laughably easily kill you with their instant-death chomp regardless of what level you are.

Dungeons have burning torches and fresh fruit.

The majority of the game’s treasure is randomly generated, making everything you get feel like random code and not a unique piece of equipment.

Fast Travel sucks because it takes all the excitement of traveling away. Walking from place to place sucks because there’s nothing interesting or valuable to discover along the way.

I think that’s enough for now.

 

In Closing

Skyrim is an awful game. It’s mechanics are pure garbage, and its immersion suffers heavily for it. Skyrim is the only Elders Scrolls game I’ve played, which makes me sad because all through my life I’d heard good things about the franchise. So I leave you with one necessary and crucial piece of information that will help cement what you’ve read here, as well as what you know about me as an author let it be known: Skyrim is a disgusting puddle of sheeple worshiped fan-hype…

…that I have put 375 hours into because mods are @&$%!*# amazing.

Steam Link

 

Breath of Death VII (Completed)

 

Breath of Death First Impression

Short and sweet, Breath of Death VII isn’t a long game–something that’s probably for the best. It’s combat mechanics are not deep enough to support a game in for the long haul and considering that combat is half (if not more) of what a 90’s RPG is, Zeboyd wisely cut things off before they could begin to drag. What we got was still fun and worth playing though.

 

 

–Spoiler Alert–

Last we left our heroes, they were just starting to form the party and set out on a grand adventure to the four quadrants of the world. Akin to the “ye olde orbs of light” (“I-hope-he-keeps-his-pants-on-shutup-I-already-made-that-joke”) the heroes raid several ruins to acquire four crystals of the corresponding traditional 4 elements. You know the ones. Along the way, they get captured by an odd mix of references–a king that looks rather similar to our good buddy Ganondorf, but who is sitting in the throne of a would-be Tantageel, in a location with a layout identical to the castle found in Dragon Quest of the same name. Being thrown in jail for the supposed usurping of his thrown, you discover his nephew, “Erik,” who is a French zombie (complete with the accent) who has a penchant to break off his otherwise civilized conversation by shouting the words “LE BRAINS!” randomly.

 

 

Our heroes break out of prison, explain to Erik’s uncle that Erik has no interest in the throne and he can continue to rule as he pleases (did we just enact the 7-year gap in Ocarina of Time?) and the party collects the 4 crystals. Upon nearing the end of the final tech/mech dungeon, the adventurers are beset upon by evil versions of themselves before encountering Dr. Dark (a parody of Dr. Light from Megaman), the last surviving human in the undead land.

 

 

Dr. D asks the heroes to give him the crystals so that he can power his time machine and go back in time to stop the catastrophic event that lead the world’s destruction and current undead predicament. Before they are allowed to do so, the “Ultimate Evil” appears in a very Final Fantasy Chaos-esque fashion to stop the heroes.

 

 

Upon its defeat, the party agrees to allow Dr. D to go back in time and change the future, even though it means that they will all no longer exist. Dr. D is successful, the world is saved and nothing more is left of Dem and his crew other than a monument that the doctor erects in honor of the saviors of his world.

 

 

Throughout the game, BoDVII maintains a consistent level of humor and doesn’t try to take itself too seriously. Zeboyd has their thumb on the cliches of 90’s RPGs and makes fun of them in many instances. One of my favorites was when Dr. Dark asks Dem for the crystals. Fully planning on telling him “No,” I realized my two options were “Yes,” and “Sure.” This is particularly funny, since it was a common habit for games in the 90’s (and plenty of modern day ones if I’m honest) to give the player meaningless “Yes” or “No” choices that they ultimately were forced to answer in the affirmative. Zeboyd is also not above poking fun at their own product, with an instance where even Dem is making fun of the asking price for BoDVII in relation to the game’s relatively short length.

 

 

For enthusiasts hungry for more, there is Hard Mode, Score Attack mode and of course the optional dungeon with the dreaded Duck Dragon. I did not deem myself worthy of challenging such a foe, but my imagination continues to maintain a humorous image of such a beast nontheless.

 




BoDVII is a solid parody that is guaranteed to get a few chuckles out of anyone who grew up in the 90’s playing RPGs. Without the parody it’s still a decent enough game to provide entertainment on its own right, although I’m not sure I’d recommend it to anyone much younger than me for fear that many of the references would fall flat. If you want a quick refresher of old-school tileset RPGs, I fully recommend BoDVII as it comes complete with all the good packaged with the time-wasting grinding graciously trimmed down. I think Cthulu Saves the World is still probably the better of the two well-known Zeboyd RPGs, but hey, at least I know now why the optional Dem boss in Cthulu was so hard.

Steam Link

War of the Human Tanks (Completed)

 

First Impression Review

 

Upon completion of our happy-go-lucky replicant platoon simulation, I was a bit nonplussed since my initial impression. That is not to say that this was necessarily a bad thing since my initial impression of the game was high, but it is to say that the game didn’t develop too much further beyond its genesis.

 

–Spoiler Warning–

The general plot of the game is a bit hard to piece together, if only because of how sporadic it plays out matched with large gaps of time passing in an instant, with nothing more than “2 years later” or something similar to indicate the passage of time. Shoutaro continues to fight for the empire, but eventually gets fed up with his country when they use a floating Human Tank Bomb the size of a city block to indiscriminately eradicate thousands of Human Tanks fighting on both sides. He chooses to rebel against the Empire, fighting against it as a maverick. In the middle of this plot is an ongoing plot involving Shoutaro and a fiesty Kingdom general named Kurara. Kurara suffers defeat at Shoutaro’s so many times that she no longer is concerned about winning the war, but is just concerned with defeating Shoutaro. After another defeat, Kurara loses her precious Rara Human Tank (a tank similar in status to Shoutaro’s Heshiko). This resulted when Rara, who was considered to only be a “pet” Human Tank up to this point begged Kurara to let her fight. In spite of being a skilled sniper, Rara is captured by Shoutaro and is repaired by his little sister Chiyoko. Chiyoko removes Rara’s control chip, allowing Rara free action apart from the Kingdom’s commands. Eventually Shoutaro returns Rara to Kurara and gains both their trust. At the end of it all, Shoutaro finally becomes emperor of the Empire, overthrowing the corrupt leaders he hated serving. Heading back to his home, he finds Kurara waiting for him, whereupon she challenges him to another sortie and the credits roll.

 

 

The game’s replayability seems pretty decent. You get to start the campaign over again with all of your previous upgrades and equipment, including the upgraded Red Muffler Heshiko and Red Muffler Rara. During my first playthrough, there were a handful of campaign missions where even though I lost the mission the plot continued, I’m sure that I’d stand a better chance at winning them in a second round. Additionally, there were some pretty ridiculous bonus and free missions that I immediately got ROFL-stomped in that likewise would be more winnable after accumulated more upgrades from a second run at the game.

 

 

War of the Human Tanks is not a perfect game. The plot is a bit disjointed, the pacing can be a bit start-and-go and it’s sometimes difficult for the player to understand if they should expect to win a sortie or not. In spite of that, this was Fruit Bat’s first title in the War of the Human Tanks series, and I’d definitely be willing to try one of their sequels to see if they’ve expanded upon their already decent formula. If you like grid-based strategical war games, I’d recommend you give the series a shot. If I do pick up one of the newer titles, maybe I can at least hope to get some backstory on that damn cat. And what’s scary is that he wasn’t even the worst of them.

Steam Link