First Impression – Page 18 – Please Insert CD

RWBY: Grimm Eclipse

Yeah, it’s pronounced “Ruby.” I don’t know if that’s fun or dumb.

I don’t really know anything about RWBY. After I stopping watching Red vs. Blue about 2 seasons in, I really don’t know much about Rooster Teeth. What I do know is that Rooster Teeth made a comic called RWBY at some point and then released a video game of it on Steam. RWBY feels pretty clean but I have a hard time feeling like I’d ever recommend it to anyone, which unfortunately gives it the trademark of a Tier 3 game. But I’m getting ahead of myself–let’s crack this open and take a look.

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Cladun x2

by Chezni

Ah, it’s like what Drawn to Life was supposed to be but just sadly wasn’t.

The name “Cladun” is a portmanteau of the word “clan” and “dungeon” which describes the game rather well. In Cladun, you build a set of custom characters that congregate as a clan and go out dungeon raiding together. It has a sort of pleasant feel about it, sort of like creating a big pixel-anime family. In a way its similar to the way one might setup a family in Sims except instead of managing their mundane daily life you handle their RPG adventures.

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Wolfenstein 3D: Spear of Destiny

by Chezni

We just can’t get enough of killing Germans, can we?

There’s not much to say about this one that hasn’t been akin the sickly thudding sound of beating a dead horse. Yes, Wolfenstein was the predecessor for DOOM, one of the most successful FPS’s in history. Yes it was quite possibly the first FPS. Yes it did a lot of funny things like Mecha Hitler or eating dog food to regain health. Look, this is expansion to Wolfensein 3D. I’ve beaten Wolfenstein 3D. It was horrible. The controls are terrible, difficulty is unforgiving and once you get the chaingun (one of a meager pool of 3 guns) things aren’t getting anymore interesting… and they aren’t that interesting to begin with. I’m sure back in 1992, some small child or adult gamer was so happy to get their hands on this one. For me in the modern world I respect Wolfenstein but I don’t recommend Wolfenstein. It’s a Tier 3 game and this expansion does nothing to make the game better, it simply makes the game “more.”

Steam Link

Final Fantasy XIII

by Chezni

I swear, I’ve got like… Stockholm Syndrome with this game franchise.

Arguably, the most notorious yet most successful RPG franchise to date, everyone has at least something to say about Final Fantasy. Old-school gamers croak back to days yonder when they fought Garland on the NES, Millennials bicker about which game had the best romantic couple, and the yuppies of today just breaking into the gaming scene see it as yet another weird JRPG where characters with funny hair run around and cut things. So, bottom line is, how exactly can you tell a good Final Fantasy game from a bad one?

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One Way Heroics

by Chezni

Please, oh please let this be the last RPG Maker game I have.

One Way Heroics is a good game. It’s not a great game but it’s good. I’m finally okay with seeing assets in the game being default RPG Maker supplied. Why? Because I think for the first time, someone took the RPG Maker shell and made an actual game with it. They didn’t make some convoluted fan-fiction story that the world desperately needed. They didn’t make a “done-a-thousand-times-before RPG,” with a dozen talking heads that chitter back and forth and pretend like they have character traits. One Way Heroics isn’t an RPG Maker game, it’s a game that happens to wear the mantle of RPG Maker.

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Zombie Party

by Chezni

The subtle combinations of technicolor death mixed with upbeat dance music…

Haha… I used to play box shooters. I remember when I thought they were amazing. Then I quickly stopped. Because they aren’t. They’re a repeated formula with so little deviation that you’re more likely to lose because you fell asleep while playing, missing the one important projectile that was headed your way, than because you made an actual mistake. I want to like Zombie Party. It’s actually a really good box shooter. I just can’t.

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Dragon’s Dogma

by Chezni

So, this is the game that From Software was so afraid of that they rushed the release of the original Dark Souls, huh? I can see why…

Fantasy RPGs are sometimes a dangerous bag. Buy enough and you’ll start picking up on cheap stereotypes, repeated tropes and pointless filler in many of the titles. Dragon’s Dogma is a reminder of what a fantasy RPG should be. It is a tale that says “Sure, you can have your stats, your party members and your level grind… but why not make that fun?” It reasons, “Walking around the town and talking to NPCs is good because it develops the world and gives the player something to do, but why not remove the annoying bits?” It concludes, “Being able to jump off ledges and climb walls is a good part of any game, whether you play as an assassin or not… so why not add it to our game?” Dragon’s Dogma just feels like an RPG from Japan done right.

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Hieroglyphika

by Chezni

╟╢║Σ│≥Θδ╚√╒╟╢║╞ φ

Here is a simple game with a neat idea. In Hieroglyphika, aside from the letters in the title, you’ll find not a single recognizable English alphabet character in the game. All the information that you’ll need to uncover on how to play the game, weapon stats, armor resistances, movement and actions are all communicated to the player via some symbol or another. It’s surprising how quickly you’ll pick up on it all once you start to figure it out and while concept isn’t mind blowing (or entirely the main focus of the game) it’s a neat little trick that adds some fun and uniqueness to this title.

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Jedi Knight (Series)

by Chezni

I have a confession. I hate Star Wars. It’s got two of my least favorite things–being in space and science fiction. Admittedly, it’s hard to have science fiction without being in space, but there you have it. However, I live in a place we like to call “reality” and Star Wars is such an oppressively pervasive part of our reality that I have not been able to live my life apart from endless consumption of its media. I’ve played its games, I’ve watched its movies, I’ve read its books. During my childhood, I heard whispers on the edge of nerd-dom of a game called “Jedi Knight.”

“You can choose to be good or evil!”

“You can kill almost any character in the game! You can use a light saber and guns!”

“You can get force powers and force choke people or light powers and move at super speeds!”

Intrigued, I have long wanted to try this “Jedi Knight” series but never had the opportunity to do so. Now, over 10 years later, I get the chance to dive into what was promised to be a good experience. It better be, because I’ll say it again in different words. Star Wars sucks!

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Trine 2

by Chezni

Trine 2. Okay, is that 3+3, 3(2), 3^2 or… I mean, I’m trying here.

I’m… not against Trine 2 but… it just feels like more of Trine 1. I simply don’t have anything interesting to say beyond that point. You still play as the same 3 from the first game; a thief with a grappling hook, a wizard that creates boxes and a warrior that smashes things. You still obtain exp potions to gain new abilities. You still solve well-made puzzles and fight simple battles.

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