First Impression – Page 19 – Please Insert CD

Trine

The age-old tale of the legendary triangle that builds the foundation of every fantasy–the fighter, the wizard and the thief.

Trine is a lot better than I thought it would be. Ever since the game’s release I’ve avoided it because of the masses that heralded it as amazing. I simply assumed that the fools had no perspective. Turns out, they were right; Trine is a pretty nice game–and not just for its visuals. Trine is a bedtime story. It’s a fantasy tale of a mystical world of beautiful things populated quickly by three simple heroes. There is no grand backstory or deep character motivation for any of the big three. They are who they simply are, as is needed by the tale that is told around them.

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Medal Of Honor (TM)

by Chezni

If it sold well once, repackage it one-thousand different times and sell it again!

I’m a huge fan of the original PC release of Medal of Honor. No, not this Medal of Honor, stupid-piece-of-crap-game, I’m talking about Medal of Honor Allied Assault. The game took an honorific if somehow humble look at WWII. It was solemn. The music was inspiring, filled with muted trumpets. The game felt like being in the front-row seat of a series of desperate missions, each with a slimmer chance of success. When I finished levels in MOHAA, it always felt like I had cheated death somehow. Then there’s this piece of garbage that doesn’t even bother with a subtitle. It just claims the entire franchise as its own. “Medal of Honor” distinguishable only by it’s stupid (TM) at the end of its name. And as a side-note, how the heck do you trademark “Medal of Honor?” When a military official receives the Medal of Honor, does the US Army have to pay EA royalties now?

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Guns of Icarus Online

by Chezni

And today I presnt to you, Guns of–HOLY CRAP I’M DROWNING IN ADS

Guns of Icarus is a good idea that just isn’t any good. It falls prey to lofty ambitions, a far too-strong emphasis on micro-transactions, and a far too-small player base to support it. So, you know, basically nine tenths of the multiplayer games that have come out in the last 15 years. There are only two good things I can say about this game and they are strong “goods.” First, it’s probably the best (if not the only) steampunk airship multiplayer game out there, so if that’s your thing this is your bag. Second, it does mood and visuals decently well to the point where during a few moments it actually felt like I was on a steampunk airship, in the rain, in the middle of the war, being shot at. It was pretty cool.

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No Time to Explain Remastered (Completed)

by Chezni

I am YOU from the future. Quick–There’s No Time to Explain This Review. Hurry!

So, the joke about No Time to Explain is… that there’s no time to explain. Anything. If you don’t find that the be funny, I can’t help you. You won’t like the game. If you find that hilarious then BUY THIS. You need more? Well, it won’t be as funny if I explain it. It’s sort of something you just need to play to understand. I had the original at Tier 1 (I beat it long before Lepcis and I began writing reviews so you won’t find one of it on the site). The Remastered version is basically the same game with extra content. There’s a couple more levels, workshop support and even the ability to play two player so I see no reason not to rate this one at Tier 1 as well. But again–we need to hurry. There’s no time for a review. So instead, I thought we could have some fun with a few “top X” lists.

Steam Link

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Sayonara Umihara Kawase

by Chezni

Good bye Kawase-san! Wait… why is she leaving?

Time has passed and Kawase-san is now 20, but her childhood days of fish-line grappling and mutant-fish hooking are far from over. We’re in a 3-D environment this time but overall, not much has changed. The controls, tactics and general principles are identical to the original Umihara Kawase. Unfortunately the smoothness of control and animations just don’t quite translate as well to the polygon world. A lot of the charm is lost from the character’s movements and expressions and I can’t help but feel the whole thing is just wrong somehow.

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Umihara Kawase

by Chezni

Ahh… the classic tale of a girl and her fishing pole. And bipedal fish.

…I’m guessing that says Umihara Kawase by the way. I actually have no idea. I can’t read Kanji.

The SNES era was a realm of trying out cute and simple ideas. Finally, we could display more than 12 different colors at once for our sprites, and likewise our levels could be quite a bit more dynamic. There were armfuls of stinkers, but there was also a wealth of really interesting designs that made absolutely no sense–but they never had to. (Ninja Baseball Bat Man is a perfect example of this, and yes I know it came out as an arcade machine, but it was still the same era.) Umihara Kawase is exactly that kind of game. It makes no sense when you think about it, is filled with images and ideas that you would relate with a stoner’s dream but works in such a snappy cute and fun way that you can’t help but enjoy it.

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Defender’s Quest: Valley of the Forgotten

by Chezni

Tower Defense games SUCK! Except for Bloons. And Gemcraft. Oh, and especially…

Defender’s Quest is a tower defense game with high energy. The world is infested with an incurable plague. Without much ado, you are introduced to the main character–a girl who is dying. Before she expires, she’s carried off and thrown into the pit of dead and dying bodies where all the sick get cast. Upon running into a fellow infested, the infested goes berserk, forcing the girl to fight back. Summoning strength from an untapped part of her spirit, she summons herself to the “halfway place,” a realm between the dead and the living. Calling with her mind to the nearest hero, she summons a sarcastic berserker to her side to protect her.

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ZanZarah: The Hidden Portal

by Chezni

Well, you know what they say, right? Imitation is the greatest form of flattery!

ZanZarah is certainly… unique. And then at the same time not. Its setting, characters and overall mood is its own. You play as Amy, some British teen, who finds a magical box in her attic. Upon opening the box, she’s swept away into a fantasy world with goblins, pixies and fairies to name a few. Being accepted as “the chosen one,” it is the hope of the denizens of ZanZarah that Amy will battle the Shadow beings and bring peace to their world, quelling the now fierce body of fairies that attack anything that tries to pass by. You’ll talk to owls, uniquely modeled plant people and discover fantastical creatures that certainly have an interesting look.

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Barony

by Chezni

Perma-death? Multiplayer? Classes, stats and real-time combat? Oh, and endless piles of cheese found in the mine? All this and more in…

Barony is an excellent roguelike. Turn on the game and you’ll be dying within minutes (if not seconds) being eaten alive by rats, skeletons or giant spiders. Something that’s important of any difficult game is a feeling of fairness–the player needs to understand why they died and have a relative understanding of what they could have done to prevent it. RNG should play a role in the game to keep things interesting, but the player generally should not feel as if they are completely at its mercy–player input must matter. This is where many roguelikes shine and others fail. Barony succeeds at both; even the early deaths in the game serve as understandable teaching instruments, generally in the form of “enemies are aggressive and you’ll need to be on guard at all times.” Likewise, RNG feels present, but never ultimately fate-determining.

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Octodad: Dadliest Catch

by Chezni

Do you want all the fun parts of QWOP without the frustration? Why don’t you try…

Octodad is a simple game. Following suit with the wild craze of “reality physics simulators” it takes actions that should be mundane and simple but makes them wildly difficult by requiring the player to input each and every movement. Games like QWOP and then Surgeon Simulator bringing popularity to these titles, Octodad may be the best realization of this genre yet.

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