Category: First Impression

Hitman: Contracts
by Chezni

 

And it was written in the book of Game Progressionis, chapter 4 verse 10: “…and lo, unto the success of shootin’ up thugs, villains and hookers bequeathed by the Auto of Grand Theft, truly I say unto you, all early 2000’s shootin’ games will neigh eventually succumb to the same mold–even Hitman: Contracts. אָמֵן.”

 

 

There are a ton of improvements between Hitman 2: Silent Assassin and Hitman: Contracts but I’m going to ruin the ending and tell you that sadly, in spite of all of its improvements, it’s Tier 3 material. As you probably gathered from the intro, it’s just another 3rd-person shooter Grand Theft Auto wannabe. I’d probably still rather play this than GTA as I generally find my motivation to immerse myself into GTA to be rather lacking (try actually following the law, it’s probably the most stupid kind of fun you can have in GTA) but H:C still doesn’t strike me as being worth much of anyone’s time who isn’t interested in just shootin’ up thugs and hoes.

 


 

Let’s start with the good–and I’m not kidding, there’s a lot of it. Level design has had a massive upgrade–the mission locations actually feel like real buildings. They’re big, have tons of doorways and passages and are not linear at all. Controls have only improved through the progression of the three games, with this one having the best. Movement feels less floaty, interactions with objects in the environment are smoother still, and it’s clear when and where you can interact with things. The environments are populated with a massive amount of NPCs really making the locations feel alive–almost to a fault. There were probably around 100 people on-site in the second mission and the game processed them all smoothly.

 

 

Going hand-in-hand with level design, approach to the level itself has mercifully gone back to “strategy discovery” instead of “choose your flavor.” There always seem to be a couple of different ways towards accomplishing your goals and none of them are painfully spelled out to you as in H2:SA. While it will always be easier to execute a bloodbath strategy on your first run through a level, I noticed several points in the level where a stealth approach would be just as viable. Oh, and speaking of stealth, guards no longer immediately gun you down from a football field’s length away for moving faster than a brisk walk–a complaint I made in my review of the 2nd title. It’s pretty safe to jog around a bit in disguise, as long as you don’t do it right in front of a guard or bump into them.

 

 

In spite of this vast list of improvements, I still can’t get behind this game. I appreciate the stealth approach but let’s be honest–it’s harder, requires at least 4 times the amount of time to pull off (when you factor in scope-out time, planning and actually executing the mission flawlessly)–it requires prior knowledge of the level, and in some ways is less exciting (albeit more rewarding). The game lends itself far too easily and just runnin’ in and shootin’ dudes. Don’t get me wrong–the game calls you out on it at the end of the level (after shooting up 55 victims that were not my 2 targets, I got the label “Murderer”) but I seriously doubt that the majority of the intended audience playing the game drew satisfaction from much else other than weighing people down with a couple ounces of lead. Additionally, the game doesn’t seem to penalize for it either.

 


 

Look, I have no qualms with GTA from a moral standpoint. I may think it’s portrayal of “gangsta” life is shallow, pointless and uninspiring, but I’ve never been the type to shame people for playing it due to its take on ethics. The biggest reason I don’t like GTA is that I find it mechanically to be an unfulfilling game. Combat is point-and-click at best. Weapons may have varying degrees of power but they are all executed the same. While you can have some exciting car-chases with the cops, I always found Driver to be much more fulfilling on this front (keep in mind I’m about 10 years out of date though). It seems that the reason a person would play GTA (and by extension, H:C) is to feel a rush of power from having the freedom to deface, plunder and kill every person you meet. Fair enough, but why can’t that be done on the backdrop of a meaningful game? You could basically do the same thing in Just Cause 2 only there were several other mechanics happening alongside it, not the least of which was creating some awesome Hollywood explosions in the name of “anti-terrorism.”

 

 

Back on track and to the final supporting point indicating the weak creation of an effortless power fantasy is the horrible and literally sheep-like AI that the NPCs, both armed and unarmed, display. It reaches a point in H:C that goes beyond a lack of self-preservation and enters into a realm of wince-inducing stupidity. In a room filled with about a dozen dancing people, around 2 of them armed, I was allowed to walk in and pick them off one by one (in various ways) whilst they took no notice of me, their murdered friends, or the puddles of blood that were undoubtedly beginning to pool around their still-dancing feet. Likewise, in a room where I was “discovered” by some guards who opened fire on me, I rounded a corner, picked a few of them off, walked back into the room and and the rest of them ignored me completely. I understand that I had the game on normal mode and not some of the higher difficulties, but I expect “normal mode” to be the “normal” method through which the game was intended to be experienced which seems to send the message of “you’re an idiot, so we made the enemies even stupider than you.” Bullet sponging is also on par with H2:SA, in that guards must empty rounds of clips into you before you finally die.

 

 

I’m glad H:C made some huge improvements over its two previous titles. I’m happy to see the levels themselves opening up and expanding into something that begins to feel exciting. Overall though, I just feel like this one is also not worth the time it would take to play it. What do you gain from it? What do you take away? Not a whole lot in any department.

Steam Link

 

 

Hitman 2: Silent Assassin
by Chezni

 

Oh early 2000’s. Was there anything you didn’t cartoonify? You didn’t even spare Hitman 2: Silent Assassin.

 

Okay, I’ve only played an hour of the first Hitman so I can safely say that this isn’t a case of “Hur dur hur, I luv da first game and it is bettaaar” fan-boyism. After playing H2:SA, I can say that it just feels wrong. the entire time I just kept thinking that everything about the first one was just better. But I’m getting ahead of myself, let’s start at the beginning with the plot.

 

 

That picture up there of some young tomatoes? I bet you thought that was a mistake didn’t you? Nope. Now, I obviously didn’t finish the first one so I don’t know what exactly the conclusion was for Hitman: Codename 47 was, but whatever it was it lead our protagonist, the legendary Agent 47 to become… a gardener who lives in a shed inside the courtyard of a Catholic church. I’m not even kidding. The entire time I kept expecting the veil to be lifted and 47 to blow the local priest’s head off, revealing him to be 47’s long-stalked target or for 47 to throw off his gardening smock, whip out his guns and reveal that he had been using the folksy church gardener image as a ruse to somehow get closer to a target attending the church. I kept expecting… something… but nope. 47 is exactly what he’s portrayed as. This was not done for humor.

 

 

It’s not that I’m against the idea of a cold-blooded trained killer finding Jesus or something and settling down. It’s not that I’m against a story about a person having a change of heart. What I’m against is how out of place this whole thing feels. Nothing about it is believable. What’s even weirder is that the entire catalyst for the plot is that the priest whom 47 had apparently become friends with gets kidnapped by the local Don and so 47 digs up his old laptop (which must be like a million years old by tech standards now), briefcase and weapon stash so that he can contact the old agency he worked for to get the priest back. What ensues is what we in the delicate part of world like to refer to as “having the shaft worked upon you,” as for what little of the game I played was nothing but a series of excuses to go out and murder tons of dudes which supposedly put you one step closer to rescuing the priest.

 

 

There are many quality of life improvements in this sequel over the original, but it’s at the cost of mood, immersion and freedom. Controls are much more intuitive and movement is so much smoother comparatively. Graphics are much rounder as well and don’t hit uncanny valley as hard as before. Mechanically speaking, you can now drag bodies around to avoid their discovery, take people out non-lethally with anesthesia, and look through keyholes of a door before entering. While all this is nice, there was far too much sacrificed in its place. First, the story is contrived at best. Next, instead of getting to choose your loadout for the mission, you just take whatever they give you–if you need other equipment or weapons you have to find them on site. I literally found a sniper rifle just sitting in a garage next to a car that I used to assassinate my main target in the first mission. How convenient. Thirdly, you still get to solve the puzzle of the mission the way that you want to but it just feels like choosing a flavor instead of discovering a strategy. Do you want to sneak in as the mailman, the grocer or the guard? The results are all largely the same.

 

What’s wrong guys? I thought this was where I was where you wanted me to drop the groceries off!

 

That’s the other thing–it feels like this game wants you to move as slowly as possible all the time. You have to wait for characters to slowly creep around until they’re where you need them to be. You can’t run up to any of the people who’s outfits you want to steal because you’ll alert them. You can’t run while wearing an outfit or you’ll create suspicion. You can’t let the body of the outfit’s original owner to be seen, unless you slowly drag it somewhere out of the way. Look, I understand that in real life all of these things make sense, but they make for a very dull game. In the end, I just solved the first mission by running in and creating a bloodbath. It’s not like I couldn’t take enough bullets. Once, upon being discovered by two guards, I sat still and let them shoot at me to end the mission. Both of them together had to shoot and reload their clip 3 times before finally killed me. I was standing about 5 yards away from them. I was completely motionless.

 

 

This game isn’t atrocious, but I feel that it’s a rather large waste of time. It just feels so goofy compared to the first one but not in a good way. The manner in which you steal different flavors of clothing almost makes it feel like a cartoon and sets a very strange mood when compared to the original. Tier 3 is where it belongs, playable only to die hard fans and those with a large amount of time to waste.

Oh, and on an unrelated note, this Scarecrow turned its head to look at me. Nothing can convince me that it’s not alive.

Steam Link

 

Hitman: Codename 47
by Chezni

Have you ever wanted to be a bald, soulless, featureless shell of a hit-man? Me neither. But hey–with Hitman: Codename 47, you can reap the exciting benefits of such a life with none of the consequence!

 

Hitman: Codename 47 is the first in its long legacy of 8 games to date. Loading it up, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect as I’ve never even seen a second of footage from any of the 8 games (although I remember seeing a lot of promotional cardboard cutouts in Gamestop when I was a kid). H:C47, in spite of being a bit dated did not fail to impress me on a few fronts… just don’t look too closely at the graphics.

 

 

From what I can tell, you’re some sort of “produced” hitman, complete with nondescript features and a barcode on the back of your head. The tutorial is your last training mission, whereupon its end you must kill a guard, take his clothes and escape your prison under the watchful gaze of a mysterious man in front of a green-lit computer. I feel a bit stupid, but after trying the tutorial 3 times and failing, I had to look up how to do that last bit about taking the guard’s clothes which leads to my greatest complaint against the game; initially, nothing is intuitive. Take for instance environmental object interaction. In order to interact with a button that can do multiple things, you must first left-click on it, roll the mouse wheel up or down, choose which option you want, left-click again to exit the selection menu, walk up close enough to the object to interact with it, then push the interact key. Let me tell you right there, that for most games that would be enough for me to dismiss it on the grounds of unnecessary and confusing gameplay mechanics. Much can be forgiven though, once you get out of the tutorial.

 

 

The gameplay itself is a tried but somewhat underused pattern that hearkens back to 90’s gaming–choose your loadout. Each level begins with a mission dossier, something that pushes the plot forward a little bit and lets you know who and where your next target is. Then, from the funds you have available (which rollover from previous missions if you managed to save a few [thousand] bucks) you get to choose which weapons and gadgets you want from the list of things the agency can help you smuggle in. This is absolutely beautiful from an immersion and gameplay standpoint. First, it explains why you can’t tote in all the weapons you’ve cached up from your previous exploits and second, it lets each level become tailor-made while allowing a large amount of player freedom. Do you want to equip yourself to run in guns blazing? Do you want to take fewer bullets and try for accuracy to save on cash? Do you take a handgun with you as a backup to the sniper rifle in case things go south, or do you trust your in your skill and go sniper rifle only?

 

 

The levels themselves follow the same suit. While they are a bit small, you’re allowed to carry out the mission in any way and from any angle that you can find. Do you go for a clean shot from atop a building (if you can find one)? Do you take to the ground and silently kill off the guards one-by-one with your piano wire? The mission only gives you the objective, but lets you figure out how to accomplish them. No baby-hand-holding, no checkpoints, no mission markers. The way it should be.

 

 

H:C47 is not a perfect game at all. The controls are clunky, aspects of the game are not intuitive and its graphics haven’t aged all that well. None of that matters though, because at the heart of the game is something great–good enough to make it into Tier 2 in spite of its flaws. If you like creative problem solving and that sweet satisfaction of doing a clean run at a mission (avoiding the “cleaners” fees from being deducted from your reward) then this one’s for you.

Steam Link


Hydrophobia: Prophecy
by Chezni

 

Haha… well, it’s good to see that we’re still making games that that are teaching our tub-jawed meat-brained male populous how to be a good-guy stalker. I am of course talking about Hydrophobia: Prophecy.

 

 

Hydrophobia Prophecy is an “action” game where you take control of Kate Wilson, an engineer on some… ship… whereupon waking up on her day off, her peaceful home life is ruined by an unforeseen terrorist attack. To be fair though, most terrorist attacks are. In order to escape, you’ll control Kate as she runs around through water-filled corridors while some thick-headed smooth-talker tells you what to do and comments on your every little action. All the time. It never stops.

 

 

It’s hard to get a good feel for the rest of the plot beyond that in just an hour. While Kate seems to dream of drowning, she doesn’t seem to have a fear of water. The terrorists are boring and generic–kill all humans because they are overpopulating the earth (ship?). Generic cryptic “Kill Yourself” phrases and other messages are scrawled all over the place, many of which are only viewable when using Eagle Visio–er, I mean–hacker vision. Apparently this is the first chapter in a 3-part game that was cancelled after chapter 1. I have never understood why so many developers shoot themselves in the foot with this tactic. Very few single-chapter game series survive.

 

 

Gameplay is basically all the staleness of old Tomb Raider with none of the fun. Pathways are largely linear, stupid annoying collectibles are littered everywhere with little meaning to their collection and ladders–LADDERS my FRIENDS!–will be climbed. Admittedly, the water’s pretty and flows realistically, but it means little if that’s all we have. There’s a bit of acrobatics in Kate’s arsenal such as the ability to scale certain pipes on the wall and to swing from one pipe to another ledge (covering a distance of about 3 feet which, while realistic, is a tad dull) but it’s nothing special and frankly games should stop using the existence of linear wall-scaling as a substitute for real game mechanics. Even older Lara Croft’s exploits were not so painfully linear. No doubt later on we would gain some sort of power or fighting skills, but for a game that’s rated at 4~6 hours long I can’t imagine they would be that great.

 

 

The worst aspect of the game by far though is storytelling itself and the heavy lean towards the good-guy stalker syndrome. I once heard a quote concerning the newer Tomb Raider games that effort was being made on Lara’s model so that the players would want to “protect her.” This idea is repulsive on so many levels. There is absolutely nothing wrong wanting to protect a person. There’s nothing wrong that if the person you want to protect happens to be female. The problem is, that this is not how the sweaty-palmed male-targeted audience will receive these games–and it’s not how the developers designed them either. Kate is designed to be sexually appealing to hetero-sexual men. She’s well endowed, wears a skimpy skin-tight tank-top, taut jeans and has no bodily defect that would be considered unattractive. Kate is designed to titillate her male viewer, stimulating their primal urges into associating feelings along with the game that aren’t really there in substance.

 

 

Keep in mind here though, that Kate’s appearance alone isn’t the source of our problem. Our problem is that while she’s spunky, energetic and active, she’s also timid, innocent and needs the constant direction of the man in her ear, the alleged “Scoot.” Scoot is who the male audience is supposed to want to be. He’s fit, muscular, has a commanding American accent and has complete omniscience to Kate’s whereabouts and actions at every second of the journey. Jump to a ledge and he frets over her choice to take a dangerous route. Run into a corridor filled with water and he passionately yells at her “Don’t stop! You can do it!” Kate asks Scoot to leave her and find safety and Scoot responds with “No, don’t even think about it. You’re my responsibility and I’m staying.” Why is Kate Scoot’s responsibility? Why does her safety belong to him? Chivalrous bullshit, that’s why. Unless Scoot is Kate’s father (which is about as likely as getting the second chapter for this game) or some similarly audience-informed explanation, Kate belongs to herself. You want to know what’s worse? In the original Hydrophobia (yeah, this one’s a remake) Scoot was fat and had an Australian accent. He was not the mold that male players were supposed to inject themselves into so that they could feel one step closer to their precious Kate. The good-guy stalker syndrome devalues people (and in almost every case women exclusively) by assuming that their existence depends on the good-guy stalker.

 

In the end, this strikes a hard Tier 3 garbage level, only avoiding Tier 4 because the water really is so damn pretty. Otherwise? Why bother playing this misogynistic piece of crap. Old Lara Croft would have a thing or two to say about being sexy and “needing protection” and she’d probably say it while gunning down Bengal tigers, awakened dinosaurs and raider thugs with an arsenal of weapons that would make even Rambo nod his head in respect.

Steam Link


Valdis Story: Abyssal City
by Chezni

 

Heralding back to metroidvanias, have you ever asked yourself what one would look like underwater? Look onward my friend towards…

 

I’m just going to give this one to you straight and quick. Valdis Story is a polished metroidvania game with tons of toys for you to play with but fails to perfectly capture the goodness of the genre that it represents.

 

 

Story-wise, it has something to do with sea-dwellers being labeled as angels by those who live underneath it, two goddess sisters born unto light and dark and some sort of clash between both aforementioned pairs. You play as a top-sider who falls into a city in the sea and it’s up to you to beat the ever-living crap out of anything that gets between you and the next plot-trigger. The dialogue is acceptable (if a bit dull) and the opening drags on for what feels like an eternity.

 

 

There are 4 playable characters to choose from (2 of which need to be unlocked) each with a focus in a different fighting style, although it seems that it can be easily summed up as “Fighter, Healer, Thief and Mage.” I chose the healer (because I’ll be damned if I’m stuck playing a fighter again after Fortune Summoners) and I was happy to discover 8 distinct starting spells and several spell-casty perks to be picked up with each level gained.

 

 

The art is appealing as well, with very stylized characters and a bright and colorful world. The HUD and menu’s interfaces are also snappy, colorful and very user-friendly. It took me a matter of seconds to become acclimated to them. Monster drops are bright and apparent and upon pickup are immediately sent to their cozy little home on the inventory screen. Judging by the blank spaces, there’s even the promise of multiple pieces of equipment ranging from weapons to armors to finishers and pets.

 

 

The problem is, something about the game just doesn’t feel right. The world is almost too bright, and oftentimes I’ll lose the character in the action that’s going on. Smacking enemies in Castlevania felt satisfying and every level up felt earned–in Valdis Story, combat feels a bit button-mashy and level-ups almost feel gimmicky. You start out with so many skills that I almost feel spoiled and I feel I’ve done little to earn the power that I have yet I’m just as impatient for more power so that I feel a sense of progression. Horizontal movement within the game feels very slow and while I appreciated acquiring an early dash, it’s button input (down and quarter turn right/left?) was a little bit awkward. It was probably done so that other buttons (bumpers, I’m looking at you) could be reserved for powerups later, but the Castlevania series reserved the shoulder buttons for dashes for a reason.

 

In spite of all this polish and content I wish more thought had been put into the game design itself. Access to a healing spell right off the bat puts emphasis on turtling and hoarding MP just to have a bigger life bar. Some skills don’t seem very dynamic while others just seem like an alternative (and MP draining) method to mashing the attack key. Regardless, it can’t be denied that there seems like a lot to discover through multiple playthroughs and even offers a decent challenge–and I was only playing on “Normal” which was 3 levels below the ominous “God Slayer” difficulty. All this adds up to a high Tier 2 and definitely will be something I come back for once I clear out my T1 list.

Steam Link

Shadow Warrior
by Chezni

 

“I like sword. That’s a personal weapon.”

 

I was a bit worried when I loaded Shadow Warrior. Many years after its release I picked up Shadow Warrior Classic Redux after noticing its similarities to Duke Nukem. I was not disappointed (it was made by the same company after all) and discovered a fast-paced FPS with bad 90’s humor, overly done racial stereotypes and a challenging difficulty level (at least for newcomers). Some of the jokes were better than others (I generally felt uncomfortable when stumbling upon the naked  adolescent) but with such a copious torrent of Lo “Wang” jokes much was forgiven. This was why I was worried though–SW Classic managed to pull something off that walked precariously along the edge of good and terrible, and in spite of crossing onto the wrong side a few times, by the end it emerged as something pretty decent. To try and create a reboot of something like this just seemed very risky (RIP Nukem). So–they didn’t. They made something new. And it is filled with awesome.

 

 

SW features the familiar character of Lo Wang in an unfamiliar way. Whereas Classic Lo Wang came off as sort of that crotchety old man who made a lot of pervy grandpa jokes, new Wang is a lot younger and more fiery. He still has that same irreverent attitude as before, but now it’s… well it’s actually funny. That might sound weird, but old Wang was usually funny because of how stupid what he was saying was. New Wang is a young aggressive punk that doesn’t take shit from anyone, but has a biting witty humor about him. He’s very cock… err… wang-strong, grossly self-confident and singularly driven to accomplish whatever his goal happens to be. I’m not saying he’s a nice guy or even a good guy, but he’s extremely likeable in the manner that he doesn’t give a fig about what anyone else thinks.

 

 

Speaking of good and bad, Lo Wang works for Zilla in this one–or at least he starts out that way (Zilla was the villain in SW Classic). This is one of many references to the original game that makes an appearance and they are all worked in very well. Maybe I find it too funny, but I cracked a smile whereupon picking up your katana in Chapter 1, Wang says, “Hmmm… Sword. For when you want to make it personal.” Add to this rebooted monsters, weapons, fortune cookies and even an arcade machine and those who enjoyed the older game will at least find something to laugh at from nostalgia.

 

 

By no means is this game all (or even in the majority) throw-back. Combat has been completely revamped in lieu of a pseudo-level up system that features many skills weapons and upgrades. I’m actually surprised that they managed to cram so many different options onto one X-Box controller, but through the double-tap of the L-Stick and some shoulder buttons, everything you need is accessible on the fly without the use of a menu. I found the combat to be a bit non-challenging and perhaps simplistic, but that also meant that it didn’t drag and let’s be real, you just play this game to hear the next thing that comes out of Wang (or Hoji’s[?]) mouth, not for the combat. That’s not to say that slicing up demons and humans alike into deli meats isn’t fun, albeit I lean towards gun-toting ranged combat as a stylistic choice. Oh right–and you make a deal with a fox-demon named Hoji. That’s a thing.

 

 

Recently I rated D&D:Daggerdale at Tier 1, explaining that even though it was unfinished and simplistic, I still really enjoyed the gameplay. D&D:D carried many stipulations that indicated its poor quality but I submitted that if you could enjoy it for what it was, then it was worth it. Shadow Warrior on the other hand is something I think would recommend to a much wider audience with much less stipulation. So far, this has just been a fun game. The pacing has been fast and fun. The skills and combat has been fun. The characters have been fun.

 

 

I’m not trying to say that this kind of game or story hasn’t been done before (after all, it feels very 90’s–early 2000’s action hero-y, but if I can use Lo Wang’s cell phone from the beginning as a reference point, I think that this game is supposed to take place in the late 80’s) but I am saying that there don’t seem to be many obstructions to the game’s entertainment. The humor and setting is in the same key as the Deadpool film and who doesn’t like that? Tier 1 for now–I’ll be very disappointed (and a little sad) if I have to lower it later.

Steam Link

Rise of Nations
by LepcisMagna

Imagine Civilization crossed with Age of Empires II.  Actually, you don’t even need to imagine since it exists: in the form of Rise of Nations.  As a real-time 4X-ish game that progresses through the ages, it seems pretty solid.  Remarkably solid, even.  The thing is, I’m not a big fan of that sort of game.  I’m definitely more of a Sim City or Sim Tower (or, if we’re sticking with strictly RTS, Homeworld or Masters of Orion) sort of person.  So while this game seems mechanically sound and pretty deep…I can’t really say I was having fun.  That being said, this game does combine a lot of the better features of both Civilization and Age of Empires.  Maybe if I was playing over LAN with a few friends I would have a more favorable opinion.  Since I can imagine picking this up again someday, I’m going to stick this into Tier Two, with a distinct possibility of an upgrade if it’s the right group.

 

Steam link

Fortune Summoners: Secret of the Elemental Stone
by Chezni

Ever been thrill-baited into thinking that you’ll finally get the chance to be a magical girl, only to have it taken away from you at the last minute and have yet another dim-witted sword-wielding antagonist thrust upon you? Ah, then you too must have played…

 

 

It’s okay. I’ll admit it. I’ve always wanted to be a magical girl. Who wouldn’t? They’re basically like power rangers only pretty, fight with their heart and inevitably fall in love with their crush by the end. What’s not desirable about that? Fortune Summoners dangles this carrot in front of me as I begin to play the game but its sinister wiles whisper dark chants, bits of which I can only make out as “traditional main character uses a sword…” Yes, Arche, young girl at the prime age to be magical, just-moved-to-a-new-town, attending a school of predominantly female occupation that teaches magic… is doomed to be the elemental stoneless, sword-fisted, brainless, muscle-bound power-house that can’t use magic. I can’t be too mad though. She’s freaking adorable.

 

So for the hour, I lived out the life of Arche, adorable hyper-child, by doing what any 8-year old girl would do.

 

Doing cartwheels like mad around the house…

…And holding up Mom at sword-point demanding that supper be ready.

Yep. That seems pretty accurate.

 

Jokes aside, Fortune Summoners has some great sprite-work in it, especially when it comes to the three protagonists who are portrayed with the cutest animations.

 

 

The game functions as a traditional RPG in a non-traditional 2-D format, whereas you can tumble, dash, run roll and launch little Arche nearly 15 feet up into the air with her jumping skills. During my first impression run, that part just didn’t get old for me.

 

 

The combat is fun if a bit simple. While you do have several different slashes at your disposal when it comes to fighting enemies, typically the best strategy is to just murder them as fast as possible with a barrage of swings. Player accuracy is important, but if my instincts tell me anything about it, it’s much like Tales of Phantasia; very fun and light-weight at the beginning of the game, very old and repetitive by the end of the game. I did get a party member along the way in support of my school shenanigans, and to my delight I was allowed to swap over and play as her… but her not being the protagonist inevitably led to her departure and me being stuck with the avatar of a sugar-infused jittery hyper-child again.

 

 

I want to put this in Tier 1, except that I know better. The pacing compiled with the charming but simplistic plot is likely to lead to a game that is less about meaningful progression and more about grinding. In Dark Souls, I know I can beat an enemy if I’m clever enough. I’m certain that in Fortune Summoners, I would be able to overcome all enemies if I level enough. I fear that in my older age, I’ve outgrown the illusion of progression and instead prefer actual progression. This is why games like Unepic, a game that could have just as easily fallen into the same trap, will always be more impressionable to me. In it, winning comes from a combination of not just stats but also overcoming very clever boss designs. Maybe I’m reading too much into Fortune Summoners from just an hour of play, but it is so seldom that a JRPG diverges from this artificial extension/progression formula. Even the Shin Megami Tensei and Persona series which are some of the best JRPGs created to date rely on the ol’ grind eventually. Seeing nothing else that sets Fortune Summoners apart has me awarding it Tier 2.

Steam Link

Skyborn
by Chezni

Why the heck do I have so many RPG Maker games?

 

I… can’t even stomach this one enough to give it a proper review. I’ll just sum it up that playing this game is like walking into someone’s fanfiction. The main character is a hot-headed mechanic who’s going to be married off against her will to some rich snob. There’s political turmoil in the form of racial oppression from a race of winged beings, of whom our hot-headed mechanic is self-righteously angry at all the time. In order to escape her fate, she steals the airship she was fixing and flies off into what could only be guessed at to be a generically dynamic series of events that one might describe as an adventure. Oh right, I should have mentioned that there are airships. Why Airships? Because… steampunk I guess. Honestly the airship wasn’t that important and I’ve never been a fan of them in fantasy games anyway.

 

 

There are some unique sounds and of what little I heard, the music is original but if you’re familiar with RPG Maker games you’ll hear plenty of recycled material. The art and sprites work the same way–it’s about 50% new and 50% reused. Inherently this is not bad, say if the game was actually interesting in either the mechanic or storyline aspects, but this is not the case. The mechanics seem average and as I’ve already mentioned a bit concerning the story–I feel like I’m reading the secret diary of a teenager’s fantasies. It’s not that there’s anything wrong a diary of this sort on it’s own, it’s just I’m not sure why I would want to play a game about it, let alone buy it (which apparently I did at some point).

 

 

Here’s one that popped up a lot that I just could not ignore. Why is there a midget knight? Well, it’s because our main character is a custom sprite that’s bigger than the generic RPG maker sprites. Our poor knight on the other hand is… you guessed it–a generic RPG Maker sprite. You’ll run into this a lot with the NPCs.

 

 

No EXP in combat means that the game likely focuses on story aspects and not so much on grinding. This is actually a mechanic I can get behind… but it’s the only one. It’s not that the combat is bad, but it’s generic and let’s face it, we’ve moved away from it for a reason–it’s too simplistic. There needs to be something more–something else appealing; this isn’t the 1990’s where a working combat system justified the making of an RPG. Nowadays, and RPG must justify the working combat system. Since all this game seems to offer is material that would appeal to a Twilight Fan, I’m relegating this to a Tier 3 position. It’s not at the bottom of Tier 3, but still undoubtedly belongs there because of one simple question: Why would you want to waste your time with this?

Steam Link

 

R.U.S.E.
by LepcisMagna

I’m afraid this impression will need to be a bit short, since the above screen represents about 75% of my playtime.  R.U.S.E. had been on my Steam playlist for quite some time – next to World in Conflict.  Much to my dismay, I have discovered that both of these games are no longer available and are pretty much dead.  That’s…quite a pity.  I had been looking forward to trying both of those games.  R.U.S.E. worried me when it asked me to sign in to Ubi.com, and my fears were justified.  Some quick Googling later, I find myself deprived of not one, but two games I had long thought about playing – both axed by Ubisoft.  I miss hosted servers (though apparently R.U.S.E. was pulled due to a licensing agreement).