Boss Monster (with Expansion)

 

It’s been a while since I’ve posted. Too long a while. That’s mostly because I’ve been playing Dark Souls III – a review I want to write soon, but one that I’m not sure I can do justice.

In the meantime, I have played another board game with Chezni at our FLGS. This time, the game is Boss Monster with its expansion “The Next Level.”  When we first played this some time ago, it seemed a tad simplistic, but with a lot of potential.  Now that we’ve played with the expansion, I can say definitively that the game – as it comes out of the box – is disappointing.  The typical game goes something like this: You are the boss of a dungeon, à la Dungeon Keeper (the original, not that abomination).  You build a dungeon using card “rooms,” and heroes come to attack you and the other players based on the room card treasure types (of which there are four).  You have a rather limited pool of spells you can use to help yourself or hinder the other players, but they are sorely underused.  There is very little interaction with the other players beyond choosing your dungeon treasure specialization.  Once you’ve built a reasonable dungeon, the game becomes a bit of a slow plod to the victory condition (beating all the heroes or acquiring 10 hero souls in our game). This is quite sad, since the rooms and spells are varied and interact with each other in interesting ways.

So here are the problems: First, spells are criminally underused unless you fall into the “Mage” category of dungeon (even then, the rooms which allow you to draw spells are typically underpowered). Second, games are either too short (with normal victory conditions) or far too long (with the alternate game modes). Finally, interaction with the other player dungeons is almost nonexistent and the heroes themselves aren’t unique or interesting enough to provide challenge or variety enough to make this a good game. This is terrible, since the cards themselves are well-made, pretty, and well-balanced.  Chezni and I spent some time trying to fix these problems, and here’s what we came up with:

Changes:

  1. Draw a room card OR a spell card at the beginning of each turn, and remove all the “Haunted Library” cards from the deck.
  2. In a two-player game, set the win condition to 20 points.  In general, increase win conditions for fewer players and increase loss conditions for more players.
  3. In a two-player game, remove half the ordinary hero cards if you are playing with the expansion.
  4. Set a maximum for +x spell cards to +3 for balance.

These changes allow for an early race to build a suitable dungeon, but ensure that once you have a good enough dungeon you are able to focus on inhibiting the other players by drawing spell cards instead.  Since the Sorcerobe School cards do essentially this, it makes sense to just remove them from the game. Increasing the victory condition allows you to have a more entertaining game by ensuring you get epic heroes and good use out of spell cards. Together, these fixes bring this game from “okay, but flawed” to “actually fun”; or, in PICD terms: from Tier Three to Tier One.

Amazon link

 

EDIT 2018-10-03: We have confirmed that this is a fun game with the above changes for two players.  Adding spells makes the game far more dynamic and interactive – things can change quickly and there’s a lot more play between bosses, rather than just running your own dungeon.

Tomb Raider

I suppose it was inevitable that I’d be rolling a lot of big series in my Steam lottery. I have many, many games that are part of a series that I haven’t played. Mostly, I held off because I like to start at the beginning of a series, and the first game is usually not that great (I’m looking at you, Final Fantasy.  And Ultima.).  This time, it’s Tomb Raider and the various adventures of Lara Croft.  I have now tried all the PC-released Tomb Raiders (except Rise of the Tomb Raider.  Don’t have that one – though I’ve heard good things). There’s a lot to say here, but I’ll try to keep things moving quickly.

The Tomb Raider franchise is one of the most well-known of video game franchises, and Lara Croft is perhaps the most famous female video game character thus far in gaming history (competing with Princess Peach, Samus Aran, and Cortana). The PC releases of the franchise can be broken into three categories: the originals – built on the classic engine, the Legend chronology – built on the Legend engine, and the modern era – a hard reboot from 2013.

Tomb Raider, Tomb Raider II, Tomb Raider III, Last Revelation, Chronicles, Angel of Darkness

Why, you might ask, are all six of these games grouped together?  It’s because I’m cheating a bit. I’m lumping all of these into the “Technical Issues” category – though not because the games didn’t run on my computer. They’re being shuffled to the side because I just could not get the hang of the controls. Between not having mouselook and Lara turning and jumping crazily, my ability to play these games is almost non-existent. Back when they were released, I’m sure I would have put the time into learning the controls – but today?  I’m content to just look for a fan mod that makes it easier to play. I do want to comment on my (limited) experience, but that will wait until my discussion of Lara herself.

Tomb Raider Legend and Tomb Raider Anniversary

These two games marked the first soft reboot of the series and a long-overdue move to a far superior game engine.  Both of these games go solidly into Tier One – Legend is the only game I played longer than I force myself to – and Anniversary seemed on par.  The platforming isn’t as terrible as in previous games (or future ones, for that matter), Lara is still a strong protagonist, and her legs are composed of more than three polygons. The set pieces are fun (even though I did get a bit lost).  Near the beginning there’s an arena that I got stuck in for about ten minutes while I tried to find my way out.  That brings me to the two problems I had with this section of games: puzzles aren’t always clearly presented, and climbing is a bit tricky (and not in a good way).

My complaints wouldn’t be such a problem except that puzzles and climbing are the bread and butter of the Tomb Raider franchise. While it kept being fun, I found myself wishing that these games had the puzzle-presentation of Valve with the free-running of Assassin’s Creed. There’s a bit of advice (I don’t remember where I first heard it) about puzzles: it stated that a good video game puzzle is one that you have all the pieces to.  In Tomb Raider Legend, there’s far too many instances where a puzzle relies on a small hidden door or switch – this is acceptable from time to time, but it breaks the flow of the game when it goes on too long. Similarly, climbing is limited to very specific (and often unclearly marked) ledges – which makes the navigation part of the game that much more obtuse.

Nevertheless, these games were fun and kept me interested and playing.  In fact, Anniversary (a re-imagining of the first game with the engine of Legend) had that ineffable “good” feeling you get when playing a game that is just plain fun.

Tomb Raider Underworld

Those of you who have played the Tomb Raider franchise may have noticed I left off one of the Legend engine games: Underworld. This is because it goes into Tier Three, unlike its predecessors. It goes into Tier Three for two reasons.  First, the camera and movement.  While Legend and Anniversary’s camera control was reasonable, Underworld’s camera and Lara’s direction of movement will only occasionally follow your command.

The second problem comes from the ridiculous and contrived plot – which is a remarkable complaint when talking about a Tomb Raider game. But as you see above, one of your first tasks is to murder a giant octopus. Typically, it is best to descend slowly into strange worlds: slowly revealing more and more unnatural things. Underworld pays little mind to this – or to reason itself – preferring to have a plot that progresses because there wouldn’t be a story otherwise.  Why do you kill the octopus?  No particular reason.  Why do you call your team before diving to the underground city? No reason. How do the “bad guys” show up immediately behind you with no warning and entirely silently? Because there wouldn’t be as much plot otherwise. This seems to be a theme throughout the game – trying to “raise the stakes” just results in an unbelievable story.

Tomb Raider

Finally, we come to the most recent reboot.  I don’t have any pictures for this section since I actually beat this game a year or two ago. Since it is part of the same series, I thought I should talk about it briefly here.  This also gives me the chance to put a second game into Tier Four. I recently talked with Chezni about Tier Four, and it turns out we had different ideas about what it meant.  The definition on the rules states that Tier Four games are not worth the time put into them.  I had taken that to mean the time spent to play them was entirely wasted, while Chezni saw the definition as saying that the game itself was not worth the time spent developing it.  I like that definition more, and it is the definition I use here.

So why does the Tomb Raider reboot go into Tier Four – particularly given the large number of accolades it received? It’s not because it uses the most cliche of plots (with Nazis and supposedly sympathetic nerds sacrificing themselves for no good reason).  Instead, it starts with quick-time events. Quick-time events pervade Tomb Raider and its cutscenes – these replace gameplay with a punishment for not knowing exactly which buttons to push. This is apparent challenge without real challenge, and they only exist to give the player a feeling of accomplishment for doing something cool during what might as well be a cutscene. And if you fail?  You run into the next problem: the unreasonably gruesome deaths of Lara Croft.

Lara Croft will die in the most horrific and terrible ways – for no good reason (quite often that you hit the wrong button during a QTE).  While playing the game I could only guess that the game designers really, really liked blood and watching people die. Recently, I was talking with Chezni and he mentioned that the producer wanted it this way to inspire the player to want to protect Lara – which certainly explains some things (more on that later). I have no problem with gore or violence. I have a problem with pointless gore and violence. Think about the time the developers spent on animating Lara getting eaten by dogs, impaled by spikes, and nearly/probably raped. Think about the time they could have spend making more places to explore.  Get mad.

Finally, we have the biggest problem – at least gameplay-wise. There are mini-temples and crafting mechanics throughout the game, but no motivation to actually use them. I finished the game without finishing a single side-dungeon – and only actually finding one. The game is designed to trick you into thinking you have a whole island to explore. But really, you just follow a set of linear quests to the end of the game. Admittedly, I did not take their chances to explore the island – for the reason that at every point in the main quest-line, you are given a sense of urgency to complete the next mission.  I took this to mean that perhaps Lara would return to the island after finishing the plot and give you time to go find all the nooks and crannies where treasure might be hidden.  It did not. The Lara in this game would likely never return to this island even if it contained the most fabulous treasures in the world.

Lara Croft

Lara Croft is a difficult character to analyze, made more difficult by the four distinct takes on her character. The Lara Croft of the first six games, the Lara Croft of the Legend trilogy, the Lara Croft of the reboot, and the Lara Croft of the movies are all distinct. Perhaps the best way to describe her influence is controversial (I promise I wrote that before reading her Wikipedia article).  On the one hand, all but her most recent portrayal has been as a devil-may-care action hero.  On the other hand, perhaps her most famous physical feature is her remarkable pair of…eyes.  And if you played video games in the ’90s and early 2000s, it was almost impossible to avoid the seemingly endless supply of nude mods for the Tomb Raider games.  Though, on this last point, I’m not sure we should judge a character based on what is done to them by the internet – Rule 34 exists for a reason.

We are faced with two aspects of Lara Croft that diminished as the series progressed: body proportions and sassiness.  Earlier iterations of Lara were entirely unrealistic, but she also commanded an attitude of control and confidence – approaching a level rivaling Saints Row. The Legend games toned down both her unrealistic proportions and her remarkable attitude.  I think this was probably the sweet spot for Lara as a character – even if it was still on the side of unrealistically proportioned.  An action hero can be unrealistic both in character and in body, as long as neither are taken too seriously.  At the same time, this must be balanced by believability if you want to start telling a complex story.  This toning down continued on both fronts into the reboot – and Lara became yet another bland protagonist for people to project their fancies on.

The Lara of earlier games is an action hero in the style of Bruce Willis in The Fifth Element or RED – ridiculous, over-the-top, and a bunch of fun (if a bit questionable on occasion). This is important because these elements are so diminished in Underworld and non-existent in the reboot universe.  In attempting to make Lara more realistic, they made Lara less Lara.

Oh well.  At least the developers of Tomb Raider don’t care about body proportions regardless of gender:

 

Steam Link 

Hitman: Contracts

 

And it was written in the book of Game Progressionis, chapter 4 verse 10: “…and lo, unto the success of shootin’ up thugs, villains and hookers bequeathed by the Auto of Grand Theft, truly I say unto you, all early 2000’s shootin’ games will neigh eventually succumb to the same mold–even Hitman: Contracts. אָמֵן.”

 

 

There are a ton of improvements between Hitman 2: Silent Assassin and Hitman: Contracts but I’m going to ruin the ending and tell you that sadly, in spite of all of its improvements, it’s Tier 3 material. As you probably gathered from the intro, it’s just another 3rd-person shooter Grand Theft Auto wannabe. I’d probably still rather play this than GTA as I generally find my motivation to immerse myself into GTA to be rather lacking (try actually following the law, it’s probably the most stupid kind of fun you can have in GTA) but H:C still doesn’t strike me as being worth much of anyone’s time who isn’t interested in just shootin’ up thugs and hoes.

 


 

Let’s start with the good–and I’m not kidding, there’s a lot of it. Level design has had a massive upgrade–the mission locations actually feel like real buildings. They’re big, have tons of doorways and passages and are not linear at all. Controls have only improved through the progression of the three games, with this one having the best. Movement feels less floaty, interactions with objects in the environment are smoother still, and it’s clear when and where you can interact with things. The environments are populated with a massive amount of NPCs really making the locations feel alive–almost to a fault. There were probably around 100 people on-site in the second mission and the game processed them all smoothly.

 

 

Going hand-in-hand with level design, approach to the level itself has mercifully gone back to “strategy discovery” instead of “choose your flavor.” There always seem to be a couple of different ways towards accomplishing your goals and none of them are painfully spelled out to you as in H2:SA. While it will always be easier to execute a bloodbath strategy on your first run through a level, I noticed several points in the level where a stealth approach would be just as viable. Oh, and speaking of stealth, guards no longer immediately gun you down from a football field’s length away for moving faster than a brisk walk–a complaint I made in my review of the 2nd title. It’s pretty safe to jog around a bit in disguise, as long as you don’t do it right in front of a guard or bump into them.

 

 

In spite of this vast list of improvements, I still can’t get behind this game. I appreciate the stealth approach but let’s be honest–it’s harder, requires at least 4 times the amount of time to pull off (when you factor in scope-out time, planning and actually executing the mission flawlessly)–it requires prior knowledge of the level, and in some ways is less exciting (albeit more rewarding). The game lends itself far too easily and just runnin’ in and shootin’ dudes. Don’t get me wrong–the game calls you out on it at the end of the level (after shooting up 55 victims that were not my 2 targets, I got the label “Murderer”) but I seriously doubt that the majority of the intended audience playing the game drew satisfaction from much else other than weighing people down with a couple ounces of lead. Additionally, the game doesn’t seem to penalize for it either.

 


 

Look, I have no qualms with GTA from a moral standpoint. I may think it’s portrayal of “gangsta” life is shallow, pointless and uninspiring, but I’ve never been the type to shame people for playing it due to its take on ethics. The biggest reason I don’t like GTA is that I find it mechanically to be an unfulfilling game. Combat is point-and-click at best. Weapons may have varying degrees of power but they are all executed the same. While you can have some exciting car-chases with the cops, I always found Driver to be much more fulfilling on this front (keep in mind I’m about 10 years out of date though). It seems that the reason a person would play GTA (and by extension, H:C) is to feel a rush of power from having the freedom to deface, plunder and kill every person you meet. Fair enough, but why can’t that be done on the backdrop of a meaningful game? You could basically do the same thing in Just Cause 2 only there were several other mechanics happening alongside it, not the least of which was creating some awesome Hollywood explosions in the name of “anti-terrorism.”

 

 

Back on track and to the final supporting point indicating the weak creation of an effortless power fantasy is the horrible and literally sheep-like AI that the NPCs, both armed and unarmed, display. It reaches a point in H:C that goes beyond a lack of self-preservation and enters into a realm of wince-inducing stupidity. In a room filled with about a dozen dancing people, around 2 of them armed, I was allowed to walk in and pick them off one by one (in various ways) whilst they took no notice of me, their murdered friends, or the puddles of blood that were undoubtedly beginning to pool around their still-dancing feet. Likewise, in a room where I was “discovered” by some guards who opened fire on me, I rounded a corner, picked a few of them off, walked back into the room and and the rest of them ignored me completely. I understand that I had the game on normal mode and not some of the higher difficulties, but I expect “normal mode” to be the “normal” method through which the game was intended to be experienced which seems to send the message of “you’re an idiot, so we made the enemies even stupider than you.” Bullet sponging is also on par with H2:SA, in that guards must empty rounds of clips into you before you finally die.

 

 

I’m glad H:C made some huge improvements over its two previous titles. I’m happy to see the levels themselves opening up and expanding into something that begins to feel exciting. Overall though, I just feel like this one is also not worth the time it would take to play it. What do you gain from it? What do you take away? Not a whole lot in any department.

Steam Link

 

 

Blackwell

Blackwell: A five game series of point-and-click adventures about guiding lost souls to the afterlife.  I love point-and-clicks, and Blackwell has a lot of good elements to it – psychic detectives, a touch of gothic horror, and just a good overall pointandclick atmosphere.  Unfortunately, unlike the games I just linked, those elements just never came together for me. This view may be biased (particularly against the later games) since I just came off of 10 hours of playing through the series (and I’ll admit, I had to look up a few puzzles), but I feel that I have to write this before my memory fails me.

Point-and-Clicks

That isn’t to say that these games are bad – in fact, they steadily improve as you play through the series.  These are solid Tier Two games – with the notable exception of the second game, Blackwell Unbound.  The trouble here comes more from the potential you find in point-and-click games.  For me, point-and-click games exist in a unique middle ground for video games.  In a fully “free” or open-world game, your practically unlimited agency makes small things like not being able to jump a two-foot-high fence a remarkable annoyance.  In a platformer, story is often neglected.  In a visual novel, there is no real challenge or choice (though there are exceptions to that rule).  Conversely, a good point-and-click adventure gives you just the amount of freedom to let you feel as if you contribute, just enough challenge to keep you thinking, and just enough story to keep you engaged.

Perhaps I’m biased.  At the end of my favorite point-and-click, The Longest Journey, I found myself unable to play any video games for a day or two – anything else would have been less perfect.  Between TLJ representing the pinnacle of story-telling and Submachine representing the pinnacle of puzzle-solving, any new point-and-click adventure game has a high bar to clear.  But before I go further about the overarching adventure, let me give you my per-game opinions.  For the record – and because I was constantly confused about it myself – the games go in this order:

  1. The Blackwell Legacy
  2. Blackwell Unbound
  3. Blackwell Convergence
  4. Blackwell Deception
  5. Blackwell Epiphany

The Blackwell Legacy

I’m afraid I don’t have any pictures for this one, since I beat it some time ago.  That says something, as I never found the motivation to go on to the rest of the series.  The protagonist, Rosa Blackwell, is a medium that leads lost souls – ghosts – to the afterlife, with the aid of her spirit guide, Joey Mallone.  Joey is a 30s clothing shop clerk who was gunned down after his best friend got into debt with a loan shark.  This is important, as it is never clearly explained why Joey is special or how often these “spirit guides” are created.  A Tier Two game since I had fun, but there wasn’t enough of the overarching plot to really draw me in.

Blackwell Unbound

Unbound is a prequel, following the aunt of Rosa – mentioned in the first game – back before she lost her grip on reality after the universe poured into her mind. That’s understandable, but this game frustrated me the most in the series.  The protagonist isn’t particularly likable, the puzzles were the worst of the series, and the only connection to the main games was explained in 30 seconds in the next game. You can safely skip this game and move on to Convergence without losing much, so it must be relegated to Tier Three.

Blackwell Convergence

I think this was my favorite of the series: just the right blend of mysterious foreboding and day-to-day ghostbustin’. One of the most important mechanical changes happened here as well – your cursor changes color depending on which character you are currently controlling (which was quite relieving, having played the previous game). The series’ art also peaked right around here.  The pixel art may not be quite as good as Epiphany, but at least the character portraits aren’t in a jarringly different style. The NPCs are well-developed and feature some of the best side characters of the series. It finishes strong with the hope of future adventures ahead.  The entire game has charm and conjures up that certain panache which good 90s games captured so well.  This is the game I almost put into Tier One – and if you’re okay with a semi-cliffhanger, I’d almost suggest that you stop playing here (while also having skipped Unbound).

Blackwell Deception

And they were doing so well.  While this game keeps some of the refinement of the previous one, it also introduces the two major issues I had with the series: a strangely uncharacteristic tone and an increasingly jarring art style.  Scroll up a bit – see that beautiful “spiritual realm” art?  Well, for some reason, this game makes the same place look like a 90s sci-fi set:

To be entirely fair, this game also introduced two things that greatly streamlined gameplay.  The first is a mobile phone so you don’t have to go running home to look things up every ten seconds. The second is this slider:

Walking speed.  WALKING. SPEED.  Every point-and-click needs this. I almost forgive this entire game its increasingly bizarre tone just for that slider.  I would sell my left arm to have that in The Longest Journey – as much as I love that game.  But even counting that slider, this too must fall into Tier Two.

Blackwell Epiphany

This game has some of the best art of the series – and more importantly, it has widescreen resolutions.  Well, a widescreen resolution. Did I mention that all the previous games run at 640×480?  This one runs at 640×400. Apparently, HD is a foreign concept even in 2013.

Even so, the wonderful art doesn’t entirely forgive the definite changes in tone. This is certainly the most “film noir” of the series, but that doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the series.  Especially when you compare Legacy to Epiphany, you wonder where the tone shift of the last two games came from.  Epiphany has ghosts ripped apart, child ghosts, suicide, prostitution, and more. It really feels too much like an attempt to have a serious (and bittersweet) ending.  Worse yet, several main plot points aren’t resolved and the epilogue throws in a strange twist not even hinted at previously that entirely invalidates the plot progression from the previous game. I should clarify that I’m not complaining because everything didn’t end up perfect for everyone – I’m a sucker for bittersweet endings.  I’m complaining because the ending didn’t make sense and didn’t fit in with the information given to us in previous games.  It avoids Tier Three because it is pretty and does provide some touching moments.  At least they kinda fixed the spiritual realm art:

And now that I’m thinking about it, this scene’s art has quite the Doctor Strange vibe (though mostly I just wanted to use this screenshot).

The Series

From a mechanical standpoint, the Blackwell series isn’t particularly impressive. Visual cues are often lost in the backdrop and important mechanics don’t always act the way you want.  None of the puzzles really stood out, preferring to blend into the story.  That’s a stylistic choice, and I can respect that – but it does make the few puzzles which require video-gamey logic particularly immersion-breaking.  This improved in later games, but there were still a few strange leaps of logic to be made, and the requirement that you talk to everyone about a subject five to six times particularly grates.

I liked the characters, and the overarching story was engaging enough to motivate me to finish the series.  That being said, the tone shifts unnecessarily in the final two games: introducing elements that really don’t fit into the earlier mythos in an effort to make it more serious. Lovecraftian horror I can get behind, but the grimdark turn this game takes… I cannot. If you just play the games with Nishanthi in them (which would be the first and third ones), you’ll be fine.

 

Steam link (1-4)

Steam link (Epiphany)

Hitman 2: Silent Assassin

 

Oh early 2000’s. Was there anything you didn’t cartoonify? You didn’t even spare Hitman 2: Silent Assassin.

 

Okay, I’ve only played an hour of the first Hitman so I can safely say that this isn’t a case of “Hur dur hur, I luv da first game and it is bettaaar” fan-boyism. After playing H2:SA, I can say that it just feels wrongthe entire time I just kept thinking that everything about the first one was just better. But I’m getting ahead of myself, let’s start at the beginning with the plot.

 

 

That picture up there of some young tomatoes? I bet you thought that was a mistake didn’t you? Nope. Now, I obviously didn’t finish the first one so I don’t know what exactly the conclusion was for Hitman: Codename 47 was, but whatever it was it lead our protagonist, the legendary Agent 47 to become… a gardener who lives in a shed inside the courtyard of a Catholic church. I’m not even kidding. The entire time I kept expecting the veil to be lifted and 47 to blow the local priest’s head off, revealing him to be 47’s long-stalked target or for 47 to throw off his gardening smock, whip out his guns and reveal that he had been using the folksy church gardener image as a ruse to somehow get closer to a target attending the church. I kept expecting… something… but nope. 47 is exactly what he’s portrayed as. This was not done for humor.

 

 

It’s not that I’m against the idea of a cold-blooded trained killer finding Jesus or something and settling down. It’s not that I’m against a story about a person having a change of heart. What I’m against is how out of place this whole thing feels. Nothing about it is believable. What’s even weirder is that the entire catalyst for the plot is that the priest whom 47 had apparently become friends with gets kidnapped by the local Don and so 47 digs up his old laptop (which must be like a million years old by tech standards now), briefcase and weapon stash so that he can contact the old agency he worked for to get the priest back. What ensues is what we in the delicate part of world like to refer to as “having the shaft worked upon you,” as for what little of the game I played was nothing but a series of excuses to go out and murder tons of dudes which supposedly put you one step closer to rescuing the priest.

 

 

There are many quality of life improvements in this sequel over the original, but it’s at the cost of mood, immersion and freedom. Controls are much more intuitive and movement is so much smoother comparatively. Graphics are much rounder as well and don’t hit uncanny valley as hard as before. Mechanically speaking, you can now drag bodies around to avoid their discovery, take people out non-lethally with anesthesia, and look through keyholes of a door before entering. While all this is nice, there was far too much sacrificed in its place. First, the story is contrived at best. Next, instead of getting to choose your loadout for the mission, you just take whatever they give you–if you need other equipment or weapons you have to find them on site. I literally found a sniper rifle just sitting in a garage next to a car that I used to assassinate my main target in the first mission. How convenient. Thirdly, you still get to solve the puzzle of the mission the way that you want to but it just feels like choosing a flavor instead of discovering a strategy. Do you want to sneak in as the mailman, the grocer or the guard? The results are all largely the same.

 

What’s wrong guys? I thought this was where I was where you wanted me to drop the groceries off!

 

That’s the other thing–it feels like this game wants you to move as slowly as possible all the time. You have to wait for characters to slowly creep around until they’re where you need them to be. You can’t run up to any of the people who’s outfits you want to steal because you’ll alert them. You can’t run while wearing an outfit or you’ll create suspicion. You can’t let the body of the outfit’s original owner to be seen, unless you slowly drag it somewhere out of the way. Look, I understand that in real life all of these things make sense, but they make for a very dull game. In the end, I just solved the first mission by running in and creating a bloodbath. It’s not like I couldn’t take enough bullets. Once, upon being discovered by two guards, I sat still and let them shoot at me to end the mission. Both of them together had to shoot and reload their clip 3 times before finally killed me. I was standing about 5 yards away from them. I was completely motionless.

 

 

This game isn’t atrocious, but I feel that it’s a rather large waste of time. It just feels so goofy compared to the first one but not in a good way. The manner in which you steal different flavors of clothing almost makes it feel like a cartoon and sets a very strange mood when compared to the original. Tier 3 is where it belongs, playable only to die hard fans and those with a large amount of time to waste.

Oh, and on an unrelated note, this Scarecrow turned its head to look at me. Nothing can convince me that it’s not alive.

Steam Link

 

Hydrophobia: Prophecy

 

Haha… well, it’s good to see that we’re still making games that that are teaching our tub-jawed meat-brained male populous how to be a good-guy stalker. I am of course talking about Hydrophobia: Prophecy.

 

 

Hydrophobia Prophecy is an “action” game where you take control of Kate Wilson, an engineer on some… ship… whereupon waking up on her day off, her peaceful home life is ruined by an unforeseen terrorist attack. To be fair though, most terrorist attacks are. In order to escape, you’ll control Kate as she runs around through water-filled corridors while some thick-headed smooth-talker tells you what to do and comments on your every little action. All the time. It never stops.

 

 

It’s hard to get a good feel for the rest of the plot beyond that in just an hour. While Kate seems to dream of drowning, she doesn’t seem to have a fear of water. The terrorists are boring and generic–kill all humans because they are overpopulating the earth (ship?). Generic cryptic “Kill Yourself” phrases and other messages are scrawled all over the place, many of which are only viewable when using Eagle Visio–er, I mean–hacker vision. Apparently this is the first chapter in a 3-part game that was cancelled after chapter 1. I have never understood why so many developers shoot themselves in the foot with this tactic. Very few single-chapter game series survive.

 

 

Gameplay is basically all the staleness of old Tomb Raider with none of the fun. Pathways are largely linear, stupid annoying collectibles are littered everywhere with little meaning to their collection and ladders–LADDERS my FRIENDS!–will be climbed. Admittedly, the water’s pretty and flows realistically, but it means little if that’s all we have. There’s a bit of acrobatics in Kate’s arsenal such as the ability to scale certain pipes on the wall and to swing from one pipe to another ledge (covering a distance of about 3 feet which, while realistic, is a tad dull) but it’s nothing special and frankly games should stop using the existence of linear wall-scaling as a substitute for real game mechanics. Even older Lara Croft’s exploits were not so painfully linear. No doubt later on we would gain some sort of power or fighting skills, but for a game that’s rated at 4~6 hours long I can’t imagine they would be that great.

 

 

The worst aspect of the game by far though is storytelling itself and the heavy lean towards the good-guy stalker syndrome. I once heard a quote concerning the newer Tomb Raider games that effort was being made on Lara’s model so that the players would want to “protect her.” This idea is repulsive on so many levels. There is absolutely nothing wrong wanting to protect a person. There’s nothing wrong that if the person you want to protect happens to be female. The problem is, that this is not how the sweaty-palmed male-targeted audience will receive these games–and it’s not how the developers designed them either. Kate is designed to be sexually appealing to hetero-sexual men. She’s well endowed, wears a skimpy skin-tight tank-top, taut jeans and has no bodily defect that would be considered unattractive. Kate is designed to titillate her male viewer, stimulating their primal urges into associating feelings along with the game that aren’t really there in substance.

 

 

Keep in mind here though, that Kate’s appearance alone isn’t the source of our problem. Our problem is that while she’s spunky, energetic and active, she’s also timid, innocent and needs the constant direction of the man in her ear, the alleged “Scoot.” Scoot is who the male audience is supposed to want to be. He’s fit, muscular, has a commanding American accent and has complete omniscience to Kate’s whereabouts and actions at every second of the journey. Jump to a ledge and he frets over her choice to take a dangerous route. Run into a corridor filled with water and he passionately yells at her “Don’t stop! You can do it!” Kate asks Scoot to leave her and find safety and Scoot responds with “No, don’t even think about it. You’re my responsibility and I’m staying.” Why is Kate Scoot’s responsibility? Why does her safety belong to him? Chivalrous bullshit, that’s why. Unless Scoot is Kate’s father (which is about as likely as getting the second chapter for this game) or some similarly audience-informed explanation, Kate belongs to herself. You want to know what’s worse? In the original Hydrophobia (yeah, this one’s a remake) Scoot was fat and had an Australian accent. He was not the mold that male players were supposed to inject themselves into so that they could feel one step closer to their precious Kate. The good-guy stalker syndrome devalues people (and in almost every case women exclusively) by assuming that their existence depends on the good-guy stalker.

 

In the end, this strikes a hard Tier 3 garbage level, only avoiding Tier 4 because the water really is so damn pretty. Otherwise? Why bother playing this misogynistic piece of crap. Old Lara Croft would have a thing or two to say about being sexy and “needing protection” and she’d probably say it while gunning down Bengal tigers, awakened dinosaurs and raider thugs with an arsenal of weapons that would make even Rambo nod his head in respect.

Steam Link


Skyborn

Why the heck do I have so many RPG Maker games?

 

I… can’t even stomach this one enough to give it a proper review. I’ll just sum it up that playing this game is like walking into someone’s fanfiction. The main character is a hot-headed mechanic who’s going to be married off against her will to some rich snob. There’s political turmoil in the form of racial oppression from a race of winged beings, of whom our hot-headed mechanic is self-righteously angry at all the time. In order to escape her fate, she steals the airship she was fixing and flies off into what could only be guessed at to be a generically dynamic series of events that one might describe as an adventure. Oh right, I should have mentioned that there are airships. Why Airships? Because… steampunk I guess. Honestly the airship wasn’t that important and I’ve never been a fan of them in fantasy games anyway.

 

 

There are some unique sounds and of what little I heard, the music is original but if you’re familiar with RPG Maker games you’ll hear plenty of recycled material. The art and sprites work the same way–it’s about 50% new and 50% reused. Inherently this is not bad, say if the game was actually interesting in either the mechanic or storyline aspects, but this is not the case. The mechanics seem average and as I’ve already mentioned a bit concerning the story–I feel like I’m reading the secret diary of a teenager’s fantasies. It’s not that there’s anything wrong a diary of this sort on it’s own, it’s just I’m not sure why I would want to play a game about it, let alone buy it (which apparently I did at some point).

 

 

Here’s one that popped up a lot that I just could not ignore. Why is there a midget knight? Well, it’s because our main character is a custom sprite that’s bigger than the generic RPG maker sprites. Our poor knight on the other hand is… you guessed it–a generic RPG Maker sprite. You’ll run into this a lot with the NPCs.

 

 

No EXP in combat means that the game likely focuses on story aspects and not so much on grinding. This is actually a mechanic I can get behind… but it’s the only one. It’s not that the combat is bad, but it’s generic and let’s face it, we’ve moved away from it for a reason–it’s too simplistic. There needs to be something more–something else appealing; this isn’t the 1990’s where a working combat system justified the making of an RPG. Nowadays, and RPG must justify the working combat system. Since all this game seems to offer is material that would appeal to a Twilight Fan, I’m relegating this to a Tier 3 position. It’s not at the bottom of Tier 3, but still undoubtedly belongs there because of one simple question: Why would you want to waste your time with this?

Steam Link

 

Tides of Time

Ahh….Tides of Time.  Wait.  That’s a board game!  Yep – part of our semi-weekly tradition is to find and play a random board game.  This time, I thought it might be a good idea to write up a quick look at our experience with this game – again, the requirement to give each game a fair shake (usually an hour) stands.  In this case, we played three rounds at our FLGS.

Tides of Time styles itself as a glorious adventure of “merciless cunning, grand choices, and a deeply tactical game in only 18 cards”.  None of that is contained within the box (Not even the 18 cards – for, you see, there are actually 19 cards).  Chezni and I played several rounds, but (as might be expected), the limited number of cards does lead to limited strategy.  While its possible we were just missing some crucial aspect to the game that makes for the grand choices specified on the box, it really does seem like this is just a case where too little was included to make an engaging game.

The one redeeming aspect to the game was the card art – on extra large cards, no less.  Sadly, even that is not enough to save this from Tier Three.

Star Wars: Dark Forces

Dark Forces is the grandfather of the Jedi Knight series and a surprising combination of Doom and Ultima.  Well, just the music style from Ultima – which was a surprising choice for a Star Wars game (though probably just a limitation of the hardware).  The rest of the game is Doom clone all the way – until you get a lightsaber, but I never got that far.

I went back and forth on putting this in Tier Three or Tier Two.  I felt like putting it into Tier Three was unfair since many of my complaints are due to the game’s age and comparatively lackluster design.  At the same time, I feel that many of my complaints are legitimate: movement is floaty and you have the magical ability to bend your blaster bolts towards enemies as long as you are pointing your weapon in generally the right direction (and I miss vertical look, but I’ll let that slide).  The environments are complex, but provide little direction or visual cues.  In fact, due to the Star Wars aesthetic, enemies and switches often blend into the background.  One of those ten panels may be a switch, but there’s little to indicate it.

What clinched putting it into Tier Three is that it came out two years after Doom, a year after Marathon, and the same year as Marathon 2: Durandal.  Those three games are fantastic – from exquisite level and enemy design in Doom to the fantastic story of Marathon and Durandal, they are deserving of their places as classics of the shooter genre.  Dark Forces just feels like a reskinned Doom with little to recommend it as a first-person shooter – except that it’s Star Wars.  Which is almost enough.

Steam link

Skyrim (Completed) – Chezni’s Take

Yes. But.

Unless you lived on some remote electricity void mountain located in some impossibly pronounced country like Arstotzka” (*ahem,* your papers please) then you must have heard the word Skyrim at least once in your life, even if it was whispered out of the mouths of a huddle of the deepest darkest nerds in your frequented place of gathering. Skyrim, took the gaming world by force and its influence is so incredibly powerful that in spite of it being six years old, Bethesda is in no hurry to release the sixth Elder Scrolls game, instead re-releasing the fifth one twice. Ask your average gamer if Skyrim is good and you’ll get a resounding “YES!” from not just the person you asked but also anyone else in the room who’s played the game. I suppose that makes Lepcis and I the un-average gamer, since we might respond with, “Yes but–” There is always a but. Is the world incredibly large? “Yes but–” Does the player have complete freedom over how they level up their character? “Yes but–” Are there tons of magical monsters and creatures? “Yes but–” Are there countless quests and dungeons? “Yes. But.”

It’s difficult to critique this game, for any time you speak out against it, it seems foolish in consideration of the mountain of content that the game presents. A critic of your critique may sarcastically respond “Oh, I’m sorry over 1,000 NPCs wasn’t enough for you,” or “I’m sorry you got bored doing over 400 quests spanning hundreds of hours of content.” The fact is, trying to say anything bad about Skyrim is almost like trying to file a complaint with Mother Theresa–something that is well within your right to do I supposed, but very hard to make stick.

However, I am here to submit that very statement to you. I am here to tell you, that Skyrim in many glaring ways is not a good game. You may disagree with me–and that is completely valid. You may overlook the issues I have with the game and frankly, your tastes may just be different than mine. In spite of this, whether you agree with me or not, I hope to make pleasant conversation, bringing light to several aspects of the game that I find fault with, that ultimately would lead me to not recommend this game to anyone, placing it into Tier 3.

 

(*sigh* Fine, here’s the obligatory caveat dammit; if you have access to mods, then the game is a clean Tier 1 but shutup you, those don’t exist for now.)

 

As it stands, I am a much more a mechanics/immersion driven player, and as such I shall focus more on these topics while I discuss the game. Skyrim is complex enough that you could write an entire book on the subject (considering that Skyrim itself also has several “books” written within it as well) so it helps to limit the scope for the sake of conciseness. If, however, you wish you read up on a viewpoint differing from mine, Lepcis approaches the game from a much more narrative/lore angle found here. Otherwise, prepare yourselves for a primary analyses of Skyrim’s mechanics with a secondary overview of immersion.

 

Why are Mechanics Important?

Mechanics are important because they are a game’s differentiating characteristic from itself and other forms of media. Don’t get me wrong, a game often needs a good story, but a good story on its own is just that–a story. A game often benefits from attractive or stylistic visuals, but attractive or stylistic visuals on their own are just art. Similarly, a game needs a great soundtrack to rest in the back of everything that’s going on within the game, but a great soundtrack on its own is just music. A ball tied to string tied to a cup though? That is a game. A 3 x 3 grid to soon be filled in with X’s and O’s? That is a game. An empty recyclable bottle that is spun in a circle? This too, is a game. The fact is, that without a game’s mechanics–without the rules and the required objects governed by those rules–you don’t have a game, you have pictures or sound or words and so on. These things can be combined to add to a game and make a good game fantastic, but on their own they simply represent themselves. We often use the word “game” to imply the final product of all these things wrapped up into one bundle but truly the mechanics are the “game” part of the game. They are the part that is played. You can’t “play” art. You can’t “win” music. Therefore, borrowing from what was said above, we can make these two statements:

 

A game is a set of mechanics.

Game mechanics are the combination of a set of rules and the things governed by those rules. 

 

In this way, a game can be about music if the music is governed by a set of rules, such as in Guitar Hero. Likewise a game can be about art if the art is governed by a set of rules, such as in Pictionary and so forth. Once again, music is not the game, nor is art, but the game’s mechanics can be structured around both. This has always been a point of my own contention when discussing “games” with people. Someone might tell me that “Her Story,” is a “good game.” Her Story is a terrible game–it barely qualifies as a point-and-click adventure, the mechanics are tedious after a while and there is no defined purpose for the player to fulfill. However, I would probably respond to the person I was talking to with, “Yeah, it was definitely an interesting game. I’m not quite sure what the message was, but it was a fun way to spend an hour.” You see, we actually aren’t talking about Her Story as a game at all, even though that’s how we’re referring to it. What we’re really saying is that Her Story is an engaging interactive media experience that we both enjoyed.

Over the years the definition of “game” has melted, similar to René Descartes’ famous “Wax Argument.” At what point does the melting wax of a candle set by the fireside cause it to cease becoming a candle? Likewise, at what point does the conjoining of various add-ons to a game cause it to cease being a game? Or even further; at what point does the very word we use to describe the idea of a set of rules and the things governed by those rules become false?

–Enter Rabbit Hole–

Now it is true that some might say, “But there are many rules and things that are governed by them that aren’t games.” Well, with the exclusion of Rules, or Laws, of Nature (“You win again gravity!“) do not all rules have a winner or a loser? Have we not taken the mundane rules of our world and turned them into a game? What is “Papers Please” if not a game about surviving the oppressive nature of a communistic government? What is “Cooking Mama” if not a game about preparing food? What is “Surgeon Simulator?” We don’t use language to describe it as such, but does a doctor not “win” if he saves his patient? Does an artist not “win” if she releases a successful album? Some may say, “Life is just a game,” to mean that everything is a joke and nothing matters but I say anyway, “Life is a game!” We have goals, objectives, quests, adventures, misadventures, setbacks, downfalls, struggles, obstacles and ultimately an ending. If “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players,” then how are we not players of the world’s stage-like game?

At some point though, the concept of “game” became lost with the explosion of the gaming market. I will not sit here and argue with you that “The Stanley Parable” is a bad game. I will argue however, that calling the Stanley Parable a “game” is a misnomer. After all, it’s called a “walking simulator” for a reason–primarily all you do is move your perspective from one location of a slightly interactive world to another. Stated again, the conflict is that what we are talking about when we refer to the Stanley Parable is not a game but an “interactive media experience.” When I was five years old, I had a computer program that told a story if you clicked on enough of the little pictures to make it continue. I didn’t call it game, it didn’t call itself a game, and in fact, it wasn’t a game. Nowadays, products like this get released on Steam and the like all the time and word “game” is applied to them without a second thought.

–Exit Rabbit Hole–

So now return and answer the question “Why are mechanics important?” Why, because life is important! But realistically, it is because mechanics are the life of a game. They must be changed, adapted, filtered, mended, tempered, discarded and created in order for a game to thrive, just as a person must do the same things to themselves if they are to live in this world. Basketball is not the same game it was 50 years ago. Mario is not the same game it was 25 years ago. Even Chess, one of our oldest currently-played games is still technically changing. After all, the idea of playing chess against anyone across the world within a couple seconds without actually touching real pieces may have seemed like science fiction to our grandparents but today, we can do just that. This only creates very minor mechanical changes (there is no longer any argument concerning the “when your hand has left the piece” and you don’t have to physically “hit” a timer to end your turn, as the program does so automatically), but they are still changes nonetheless. Mechanics are important because they are the very structure of what a game is, spanning across and beyond human history. Without mechanics there can be no game. Without mechanics, there is no motivation, no goal–absolutely nothing at all.

 

Wasn’t This Supposed to Be About Skyrim?

You can probably see where I’m going with this, but yes, let’s look back at Skyrim. Skyrim may be an entertaining “interactive media experience,” but it is, at best, something that only simulates a game. Large portions of the “game experience” are artificial. Rules are communicated very poorly to the player, if they are ever communicated at all. Balance of the game’s mechanics range from mediocre to down-right awful. Counterplay in certain circumstances is almost completely removed. The worst part about it–the part that makes me grind my teeth the most when I try to critique this game–is that the world absolutely loves Skyrim and that worries me as a mechanics-devoted gamer. It worries me because I think that I must live in a world where my fellow gamer does not desire quality, only the illusion of quality. I feel alone in that instead of recognizing the falsehoods of easily accessed grandeur and inorganic replicated “challenges,” the majority of the gaming world wants to be spoon-fed their magnificence from a prosthetic arm.

Look, if I’m honest, there are plenty of crap games out there with bunk mechanics that offer immediate gratuity for less-than-authentic repetitive action. Sometimes you just want to play a game that gives you sword (or in my case a staff), puts you in a field with monsters and progressively gives you a bigger and bigger sword after you’ve wacked the monsters enough times. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying this kind of game as long as the player understands what’s going on. It’s sort of like a box of Little Debbie’s snack cakes. If you’re hungry, have a few dollars and are short on time, a box of corn-syrup, pre-processed flour, powdered sugar treats are probably going to be awesome. You would never make the claim that Little Debbies had somehow managed to reach the Nirvana of baking–you probably wouldn’t even claim that they were healthy for you or made of wholesome ingredients–but for what they are they taste good in small doses. The same can be said for games of the pre-described nature.

The problem is that Skyrim isn’t described, seen or even rationalized in this way. Instead it’s seen as this Nirvana, this golden pinnacle of gaming that somehow only the “best” games can reach and the rest must settle in the lowly dredges of non-accomplishment. The masses overlook its cardboard-cut-out nature, its shallow design. Sometimes I feel like a conspiracy theorist or a street-preacher when I complain about it. Enough though; I’ve done a lot of blabbering with little backup, so let’s get into the core of some the actual mechanics themselves so I can show you what I mean.

 

Questing – Show Don’t Tell

Quests are horrible. This may come as a bit of a shock to you, but I’m going to say it again. Quests. Of any kind. AreHorrible. And this is why.

My favorite game to this day, is Lands of Lore II. I’m not sure whether it’s as good as I think it is, or if I developed a pseudo-Stockholm syndrome-esque attachment to it after doing nothing but locking myself up in my room and playing it for two weeks straight after the death of my father. Either way, I have so many good things to say about it. The world is beautiful, the characters are engaging and the plot is interesting. More than anything though, I loved getting lost in the world. The game never told you what to do or where to go. Well, I mean sure, there was a plot that gave general agency to the meaning of your actions but the best part about LoL II is just wandering around and discovering things that are hidden in clever and meaningful ways.

Sometimes the things discovered were big but oftentimes they are small. A lightning crystal hidden in the water here, a tiny cave exposed by draining a small pond there–outside of the game’s extremely light “tutorial,” every single thing you find in the game is your own. The game never points you towards any of it, save for the very clues to the puzzle’s answer themselves. Nowadays they would be considered “side quests,” but there are plenty of optional characters to talk to and little “quests” (by the definition of the word) that you can go on but at no point is a reward guaranteed or necessarily implied. The point of doing these quests was simply to discover more of the world. While the motivation to complete them may have been to discover what you’ll get out of it, the acquisition of a new thing was only secondary to how it was obtained. A skeleton key may be stolen from a fellow thief, a dagger may be given to a lost son, a charm may be unearthed from a locked temple; none of these things are mandatory in the game but upon doing them the game becomes more complex and more interesting.

How horrible LoL II would have been if each time something interesting happened, the game had to tell me that I should find it interesting. How horrible would it be if instead of being allowed to discover the interesting bits of the world, the game merely activated variables which gave me access to pieces of text which just laid out all the interesting parts of the locations I visited. The mystery of discovering new things would be lost. The control of being allowed to guide my own hand to my own destiny would be gone. The thrill of finding a new way to solve a quest that you thought was binary would evaporate. “Quests,” as they commonly exist in modern day games ruin large portions of what makes a good game by falling into the trap of telling instead of showing.

Humans are rather finite–we can only take in so much of something before what we already have up in our noggin starts to leak out when we try to put more in there. This is why initially a quest log may seem appealing for both the game player and the designer. “Oh boy, I’ll never forget what I need to do!” says the player. “Oh boy, they won’t get frustrated from not knowing what to do!” says the designer. The truth is, if your game relies heavily on a quest log, there’s probably something wrong with your game.

You see, if your (designer’s) quest is worth making, the player should want to finish it whether the game is telling them to or not. It won’t matter if it’s game-critical. It won’t matter if they get a reward. Your player will look at it and say “I want to do that. I need to know what happens from that. I need to discover that,” and then they will go out and do it. They don’t need to be told to do something. They shouldn’t be told to do something. A player doesn’t turn on a game to be told what to do, a player should turn on a game and be inspired by it to the point where they want to go out and do those things on their own. A player turns on a game to discover a new world for a little while–to be shown a world of adventure, not be told about it. A quest log is nothing more than a to-do list. It bleaches all the fun out of the game by removing any and all forms of self-motivated discovery. It immediately divides all information the player is receiving into two kinds of categories: information that I can get something from and information I can’t get something from and they will never have to think about which is which.

Hear a story about a drunken bartender? Well, it didn’t get added to my quest log, so it’s worthless. Vague mentioning of some kind of gem that I wasn’t really paying attention to? Immediately got added to my quest log in addition to where I need to go to find it, so it must be important. I cannot stress enough how bad of a mechanic this is–how horrible a method of player dictation this is. You’re literally telling the player what they should think is interesting and uninteresting instead of showing the player what is interesting and trusting them. As a designer, you need to have enough confidence in your creation that the player will want  discover the things they think are interesting on their own. Quest logs simply cater to an audience that is too impatient or too stupid to invest themselves into something.

What’s worse is that it ruins the game’s immersion. Players feel this constant pressure to be accomplishing quests and if they aren’t following the pre-laid footsteps of a quest’s pathing they feel as if they aren’t accomplishing anything, which is criminal. A player should feel like each step they take into the unknown is accomplishing something. They should feel that each creature they slay, big or small, hard or easy is a worthy task. Quests logs instead make the player switch “quest on” and “quest off,” which takes away any need the player’s need to think. Players immediately know when a quest ends if it finishes in their log. They know when a quest begins when it gets entered into their log. There’s no uncertainty or anticipation or ability to make your own decisions concerning what you as a player think is worth your time.

When we slay the Talamar at the college, we know he’s dead because the quest told us it was finished. Imagine if the game didn’t tell us–we might be confident that things have wrapped up or we might think, “What if he comes back? What if he finds a way to seek revenge? Is this truly the end?” When we defend a stronghold from the damn rebel scum (because Ulfric is a dick and no one should side with him) we immediately know when the attack is finished and when we can just completely drop our guard, because the quest told us so. We don’t have to think “what if there’s another attack” or “maybe there is a remainder of the guards that I missed planning to sneak in?” No, it’s just a flip to your quest log which says “Yup, you killed all the things, now go back to a camp so you can go to another X,Y coordinate and kill more things.”

Skyrim isn’t the only game that suffers from this, but just consider the effect it has on the world. Reading anything in the game is no longer a method of uncovering the mysteries of the world internally–if what you were reading was important, it gets added to your quest log. Otherwise, you can just throw it away and forget about it. Rumors or stories that you hear characters say are immediately forgotten if they don’t trigger a quest. What’s the point of remembering them? Emphasis in the game isn’t placed on discovery or morality or even just a decency to help people–it’s replaced with getting the blasted check box in your to-do list marked off so you can get your reward and move on to the next one! Any thing you discover in the world–anything that isn’t quest related or doesn’t have a reward attached to it–immediately feels less valuable in this kind of system. All the little detail in Skyrim is overshadowed by the desire to follow the pattern of “do thing, get thing.”

Players want to do something interesting. They want to go on an adventure–they want to change their world and they want to grow stronger. If all of the quests in your game are so numerous and so forgettable that you feel you must rely on an auto-filling quest-book to motivate the player to do them, then you should have never made them at all. A player who is inspired by your world will find something to do on their own. They will remember the things that interested them or excited them and they will venture out into the fantasy world to be their conqueror. Once they’ve completed the things that interested them the most, if you did your job right, they will hunger for more and dive back into the collection of interesting things you’ve set up for them to do. You need to let the players choose what they care about and what they deem worth their time. A quest-book sends the message to the player that they have to do everything. They have to do all the chores and if you’ve played Skyrim for more than a few hours, you really start to feel like all those quests piling up are just that–chores. Frankly, if your quest wasn’t interesting enough for the player to remember and complete on their own volition, it’s either because they were too busy being engaged by some other awesome quest that you put into the game (which is a good thing), or because your quest is refuse and is so forgettable that it isn’t worth anyone’s time.

 

 

Level Scaling

This is the greatest sinner of the bunch, and it’s probably the most mechanics heavy. Level scaling is the DEVIL. Like, if I die and go to Hell, there’s going to be two things going on. Number 1: I’m going to be in my horrid Walmart uniform stuck at a checkout lane forced to listen to the endlessly repeating commercials on the TV above me and Number 2: every time I get better at some aspect of checking out my customers, something will happen so that my improvement is completely removed. My job will be just as hard as when I started, meaning that my accomplishment meant nothing. Taking a look at the latter, the sad part is, is that’s essentially what game developers are telling you when they make their game’s level scale–you have accomplished nothing. In fact, in some cases, level scaling can create the phenomenal effect of your strength going backwards.

I’ll use a simpler example than Skyrim to show what I mean. Secret of Magia also used level scaling. Admittedly, Secret of Magia is one of the worst, under-designed, non-fleshed out piece of crap games I’ve ever played, but avoiding all of that and looking directly at its level scaling system, it exhibits level scaling’s fatal flaw perfectly. Every time you level up in SoM, every single enemy levels up with you at a fixed and uncapped rate of growth. Since the growth rate is fixed and since the stats are built up the same from level 1, if you disregard your character’s equipment, a fight against a monster at level 1 would be identical to a fight against a monster at level 5. The problem is that when you add in equipment, it becomes a whole new beast.

 

 

The first graph here is a simplification of the player’s power in relation to their level and equipment, versus a monster’s power based on level. As you can see, a level one player with enough equipment to equal two more level’s worth of stats would match up against a scaled enemy with a ratio of 3:1, or 300% power over the enemy. Now let’s add 3 more levels to our player, keeping the equipment power the same because equipment does not scale with level. Now instead of a 3:1 ratio, we have a 3:2 ratio or 150% percent power over the enemy. As you can see, in this instance gaining 3 levels actually cut our character’s power in half which is ridiculous.

Skyrim, (and any game with level scaling really) while more complicated, functions in much the same way under the same principles with an additional few aggravations. The same problem with equipment persists, in that because equipment does not scale and considering that half if not more of the enemies in the game do not wear gear (and I’m not even sure if humanoid enemy’s equipment are actually even factored into a monster’s stats) leveling up still makes you weaker against enemies that scales with you. It gets worse though when you add perks to the mix. The perks on their own are not bad–a bit bland, maybe, but in and of themselves they are not the cause of the problem; the level scaling is. You see, by choosing a non-combative perk, you create the same problem as the equipment dilemma. Want an easier time picking Novice locks? That could have been an extra 10% damage on your axe swing, or it could have been halving the cost of your Adept Destruction Magick, allowing you to cast more spells to deal more damage. By picking the Novice pick lock skill, you are no stronger (aside from the 10 points in HP, MP or Stamina) than you were a level ago, but the foes you face will be one level stronger.

What’s even funnier is how Bethesda tried to band-aid fix this problem. It’s clear that someone in the studio caught wind of this problem and wanted to do something about it but the final product just creates a different problem. You wouldn’t necessarily figure it out just from playing the game, but Skyrim has tiered difficulties for certain enemies and dungeons. They essentially have caps both at the bottom and top of their level ranges so that even if your level is lower or higher than theirs, their level cannot be lower or higher than a certain defined integer. To further muck things about, they also decided to that certain tiered enemies wouldn’t show up until the player was a certain level either. For example, Dungeon ABC contains Bandits and Skeever. The Dungeon itself has a level range of of 10-30. This means that if you go into the dungeon below level 10, all enemies will be at least level 10. If you go into the dungeon above level 30, dungeon enemies will only be level 30. Enemies themselves have their own individual level ranges as well–for instance, maybe the Skeever’s is level 10 while the bandit’s is level 30. This means that Skeevers in the dungeon will always be level 10, but if the player enters in at a level higher than 10, the Skeevers will still remain at level 10. The bandits might be a different story though, since they might have tiered bandit archetypes. At level 15, the “Bandit Ruffian” might appear, and at level 25 the “Bandit Chieftan” might appear.

While in theory, this sounds all fine and well, it’s not in practice. As stated, it is a band-aid solution at best which just introduces different problems. Enemy power rankings are still completely variable with no indication to the player what kind of strength the foe they are facing possesses. A level 1 player who a little while ago was happily killing the level 1 scaled Skeevers near Riverwood may stumble into this dungeon and suddenly be beset upon by murderous level 10 Skeevers that look and act identical to the ones he was fighting previously. A level 24 player may run around the dungeon feeling quite powerful, but a level 25 player will enter the dungeon and struggle against the difficulty spike created by the introduction of the new Bandit Chieftan. Once again, by gaining levels the player is punished with absolutely no indication or warning to the player to the contrary, save for a different enemy text name, one that certainly blends in with all the other tiers of bandits that they’ve likely been encountering.

Developers need to get rid of level scaling forever. It creates complete chaos and inconsistency in the world. The player has no real way of knowing what to expect when they enter into a dungeon–but not in a good way. It’s true, as a general rule, the dungeons around Riverwood are a lower level–but this is just a general rule, and it hardly has much of a pattern outside the Skyrim’s beginning area. The developers delved too greedily and too deep; they pridefully tried to create a game that was completely accessible to low level players while still maintaining some semblance of matched difficulty to the player’s power. Instead what they created was an inconsistent mess that rides wild and unpredictable difficulty spikes that ultimately peter out at around level 40, where at that point most of the dungeons are either relatively scaled to the player power or laughably easy.

The fix for this? Keep the damned enemy’s power level consistent you morons! Quit being afraid that if your player doesn’t have access to each and every location in the game right away that they’ll start whining and quit! With level scaling, there is no progression! It takes as much effort to kill a mammoth at level 5 as it does level 25–why did I even bother gaining the 20 levels in between? It’s no wonder I feel empty inside when I clear out another dungeon, because I know that the game gave me a lukewarm challenge that was tailored to my skill level. There’s no need to be afraid or concerned when walking into a dungeon since I’ll always know that it will be scaled to my level–except when the dungeon’s lower level cap is 20 levels higher than me and I’m getting ROFLstomped by bandits and wizards that look identical to the level 1 bandits and wizards I was fighting in the last dungeon! Just make things consistent in power level–make the giants these foreboding doom-creatures that it really means something when you finally get the ability to kill them. Allow a low-level player to slay smaller spiders with relative ease, but make the massive ones truly deadly!

Once the world becomes consistent to the player, they can begin to gauge the power of the things they are facing in relation to their own power. They can begin to understand which dungeons are heavily guarded and which ones are simply filled with bandit rabble. This kind of balance usually leads to a stronger community base since you have speedrunners and game-breaker enthusiasts banding together and asking each other “Just how can a level 1 creature sneak past the troll?” or “How can I get my level 5 wizard to kill the giants guarding the cave that’s meant for high-level players?”

By creating level-scaling, players will never feel accomplished because they never know what to expect. Enemy names, types and even the models themselves almost become meaningless since they won’t know how strong something until they give it a wack, even if it’s the same monster they’ve encounter time and time again. Level scaling is nothing more than a cheap method for the developers to try to instill an artificial feeling of “balance” in their game, when really all they’re doing is washing their hands free of any kind of progression design or real balance, not to mention the complete way it breaks immersion when I’m never afraid to go anywhere or fight anything at level 1.

 

Combat/Equipment/Balance

Herein are miscellaneous complaints that are worth mentioning, but are not necessarily large enough to require an entire section devoted to them.

Melee Combat in the game is incredibly simple–horribly so. If you are a fighter, it’s swing, swing or swing. You might occasionally block, you might charge up a swing, but in the end, it’s just swing or be swinged.

Archery Combat consists of clipping enemies on rocks or trees and then filling them full of an inordinate amount of missiles while they stand there staring at you.

Magic is a let-down. Not only are spells lackluster, but they are rather barbaric in their straight-forwardness. Lightning is laughably useless unless the enemy is using it on you. Frost is ok, but not really worth it in the face of Fire’s DPS. The starting fire spell is one of the most efficient DPS spells in the game, especially if you stutter cast it, which isn’t even a bug–it’s simply a method of conserving mana while maintaining the same level of DPS. You never truly feel like a powerful wizard, no matter how many points of destruction magic you have. Healing magic has a similar problem–the starting healing spell is the most efficient; why bother using anything else?

Equipment is a joke. Medium armor is pointless–light armor is somewhat useable, but once fully perked there is almost no disadvantage to heavy armor for any character. Since classes don’t exist, any character can wear whatever they want. No need to use your brain when equipping things either since everything is a binary progression up to a higher number for defense. Glass armor will always be better than steel. Steel will always be better than iron. The armors are nothing more than numbers.

The problem mentioned earlier concerning equipment not scaling in relation to the player’s level can actually be abused by players focusing on equipment crafting, giving them an incredibly powerful but artificial power boost. Coupled with enchantments allowing magic to be cast for free in addition with the lackluster scaling on spells means that a player wearing armor that lets them cast spells for free will be nearly as powerful as a wizard who has spent all their perks into magic.

Enemy wizards are extremely broken. At this point, I have played several different types of characters and put my stat points into several different areas. I can tell you that if you play as a wizard, you will never even come close to the strength possessed by enemy wizards. Likewise, in a playthrough where I put every single point I had in HP, I was one-shotted at full ~300HP health by an enemy wizard who was using the level 1 lightning spell.

The only time you will be “challenged” by an enemy in Skyrim is when you face one that can one-shot you, or very nearly so. This isn’t really a challenge, since such an occurrence offers little to no counterplay. Additionally, because of the relatively shallow battle mecahnics, any other kind of fight in the game is brainlessly winnable for several reasons. 1. You probably have enough potions to health-spam your way through an enemy. 2. If you need to, you can just heal with your MP. 3. You probably have enough MP potions to MP-spam your way through an enemy or 4. You probably have enough MP potions to MP-spam-heal your way through an enemy. 5. You can probably just run away and shoot an enemy to death with magic and/or the 1000+ weightless arrows you’re carrying. 6. If you get really desperate, you can eat all that odd food you’re probably carrying from when you accidentally picked it up earlier. 7. You probably have an essential ally that will never die with you that you can use to face-tank. 8. If all else fails, you can just run away, heal and come back again. It’s not like the enemies are going anywhere, or your quest has a time-limit.

Dragons are laughably easy to kill.

Dragons can laughably easily kill you with their instant-death chomp regardless of what level you are.

Dungeons have burning torches and fresh fruit.

The majority of the game’s treasure is randomly generated, making everything you get feel like random code and not a unique piece of equipment.

Fast Travel sucks because it takes all the excitement of traveling away. Walking from place to place sucks because there’s nothing interesting or valuable to discover along the way.

I think that’s enough for now.

 

In Closing

Skyrim is an awful game. It’s mechanics are pure garbage, and its immersion suffers heavily for it. Skyrim is the only Elders Scrolls game I’ve played, which makes me sad because all through my life I’d heard good things about the franchise. So I leave you with one necessary and crucial piece of information that will help cement what you’ve read here, as well as what you know about me as an author let it be known: Skyrim is a disgusting puddle of sheeple worshiped fan-hype…

…that I have put 375 hours into because mods are @&$%!*# amazing.

Steam Link