by It’s like Mario Party, only with robots, little girls and seagulls. Actually, that may be more like Mario Party than I remember. I’m of course, talking about…
Okay, not gonna lie, I might have met my match here. I like to consider myself a well-seasoned gamer. I’ve survived games that were terrible, games that were incredibly difficult and games that were just plain unfair… but 100% OJ reaches an entirely new level. Of insanity. Complete and utter insanity. And little girls that steal things. The closest thing I can compare it to is Mario Party, but even that doesn’t do it justice. Sure, similar to our lovable Italian’s favorite party game, 100% OJ is played on a board, you roll dice, you gain a currency for committing acts of felony, and it is undoubtedly the place where friendships go to die (if I had any friends to play this with me). Unlike Mario Party though, there are no mini-games after each round, there is a pseudo RPG-combat system, you can murder people, and play cards as if it was one of the crazy half-baked games a villainous henchman invented in an episode of Yugioh. I would say that these things make it the Japanese version of Mario Party except… yeah… the old plumber is already Japanese.
In regards to about half the things happening in the game, I have no ability to explain them. I chose a character that I liked, partially based on the fact that I thought she seemed cool and partially because she looked about as clueless as I was, which comforted me somehow. I think the goal of the game was to achieve five “Normas” which come in the form of two kinds of quests–murder stuff or get stuff (stars). Along the way, a little dog girl kept stealing money from the only boy on the board. I kept drawing cards that had neat pictures, but for some reason was never allowed to use any of them. To this day, my inability to play anything I drew haunts me. At some point a giant boss robot appeared and murdered everyone. Then the boy who’s wallet was stolen punched me out. It was around chapter (round) 40 that I was convinced the game was a satirical commentary about Marxism and how it connected with the social injustices concerning the youth of modern day Japan. I’m not entirely convinced that I’m wrong.
Eventually the dog-girl won. Apparently, most of my opponents were as clueless as I was, considering that I somehow got second place. In the end, I’m not convinced that this is a bad game. There’s clearly a large selection of wacky effects and strategies that can be implemented through use of the game’s numerous cards. If you’re willing to shell out a bit for the DLC, there are quite a few characters. A quick flip through the game’s community artwork will show you that there’s clearly a large group of people who embrace the game’s wild chance, zaniness, and ridiculous combination of adorable sinister-like qualities. There’s online play for those who want to be social, and even a rather wide selection of things you can unlock.
If I was younger, had more time and/or had a group of friends to play this game with, I think I would enjoy it quite a bit more. As it stands that I have none of these things, I am willing to take a step back and recognize that it may simply not be something I can get into. I love the art, humor and considering the somewhat stale nature of Mario games as of late, this game could be a great way to fill the niche of those who have fond memories of the old Mario Party games. For now though, I place it in Tier 2, putting it gently in a corner of the closet, praying that we leave each other on good terms–an attempt to respectfully avoid bending my mind around its madness any longer.
