Hitman: Absolution
by Chezni

 

Finally, I’ve reached the apex. The 5th Hitman game in my library. The final shot. The final chance for Hitman to right the wrongs, put all the pieces together and really deliver on something good. With a sigh I loaded…

 

 

Wow. How. Why?

These questions all came to my mind when , but do little for you, my reader, to implicate what emotion was attached to them. I can tell you that what I felt was a long forgotten feeling. Something that had only barely sparked while playing the first game in the series. Excitement. Interest. Fun. HECK yeah. Hitman Absolution is fantastic.

 

 

Wow.

So let’s start with the wow. Absolution took what was present in the previous 4 Hitman games and finally had the courage to push it to the next level. It probably helps that Square Enix was the publisher. Say what you will about their departure from the formula of the old Final Fantasy games, I guess money and experience are probably good ingredients for any game. The first thing I noticed when kicking off Absolution’s executable was the mood. Finally, the mood was right. Agent 47 had the perfect blend of foreboding brooding and silent power without overdoing it. His actions, lines, and mannerisms struck gold in the name of interest, clarity and entertainment all at once. The presentation of 47 was believable without being boring–power fantasy inducing without being gratuitous. For the first time in the franchise, I thought 47 was cool. For the first time, I wanted to be him.

 

 

How.

But enough feelings–here’s the list. Level design is fantastic. Pathways are clear but not blatant. Stealth and Brute Force now seem like equally viable options. Stealth options are clear with varying “puzzles” (like drugging a guard’s coffee) that keep it from just being limited to “steal someone’s clothes and walk slowly.” Brute force now feels fun instead of unrealistic–there are actual gunplay mechanics now. Cover can be taken because taking cover makes sense in a gunfight, but it does not devolve into just another cover-shooter game. Time slows down when you get a headshot on an unsuspecting target giving you motivation to aim for the head and be precise in your targeting–a case where mechanics and mood are confluent into the role that you are playing. It makes you feel like a hitman, who would want to leave as few bullets as possible.

 

 

If your cover is blown,  you can regain it by eliminating all who’ve seen you. Your actions and the way they affect the world around you and your score is very clearly shown through the HUD. Skills are usable through a rechargeable “instinct” bar which add a new level of strategy and technique. Enemies aren’t brainless–they move and act like intelligent people intent on self-preservation. Out of combat they react to you and each other in manners that add believability to their existence. There are tons of ways to solve your problems and you’re allowed to choose whichever method you can figure out. 47 drags bodies quickly (it’s about damn time). Stealth actually seems as fun as brute force–I felt like I was missing out by taking the bloodbath path on the first mission so much so, that I restarted the mission and did it cleaner.

 

 

Why.

After such a positive influx of gameplay I turned off the game, sat back and tried to figure out why the heck I was having such a better time. Was it because I expected to have a bad time and thus the bar was low? No, I expected to have a bad time for the 3rd and 4th installment. Was it because it was a more modern game? A game released by Enix, who could afford to throw in the extra kinds of lighting, special effects and graphical detail expected from a AAA title? Well, they certainly didn’t hurt, but some of my favorite games have graphics so ugly that it’s probably a sin, so I don’t think that was it either. Was it the sex-appeal from the shower scene where you fridge your former partner? Or the appeal of the school-girl, literally in a school-girl uniform? Once again, no, I was sold long before I got to these scenes. So what was it? Why is this one good?

 

 

Every time I think back to what exactly it was that I liked about the game, I keep going back one moment–how cool I felt sniping people in the back of the head with my silenced ballers. That’s it. That’s literally it. That’s what I keep referencing in my head as being the most satisfying. But why? I could have done that in the older games. Why was this one different? I think I have the answer. I already mentioned this earlier, but Absolution’s mood, setting and immersion is believable. Because it feels believable, it doesn’t feel like a cheap power fantasy designed to give immediate gratification for overpowering hordes of mindless victims. Because it feels believable, I feel like I’m actually overcoming intelligent opponents which makes me feel intelligent. If I sit back and think about it, I know it’s still a game, I know I’m just pushing buttons on a controller but while I’m in the game I feel like a super hero (or villain depending on how you look a it). I feel like a competent agent. I feel like a hitman.

 

 

This game is Tier 1 material. I just have to see more of what it has to offer. There are 12 different game-recognized methods for taking down the target in the Chinatown level alone. If I don’t try at least 6 of those, I’m going to go nuts. Until then, I remain disappointed that I was not able to enjoy the 4 games leading up to this one, but happy to see Absolution break much of the old game’s stale mold.

Steam Link

Tomb Raider
by LepcisMagna

I suppose it was inevitable that I’d be rolling a lot of big series in my Steam lottery. I have many, many games that are part of a series that I haven’t played. Mostly, I held off because I like to start at the beginning of a series, and the first game is usually not that great (I’m looking at you, Final Fantasy.  And Ultima.).  This time, it’s Tomb Raider and the various adventures of Lara Croft.  I have now tried all the PC-released Tomb Raiders (except Rise of the Tomb Raider.  Don’t have that one – though I’ve heard good things). There’s a lot to say here, but I’ll try to keep things moving quickly.

The Tomb Raider franchise is one of the most well-known of video game franchises, and Lara Croft is perhaps the most famous female video game character thus far in gaming history (competing with Princess Peach, Samus Aran, and Cortana). The PC releases of the franchise can be broken into three categories: the originals – built on the classic engine, the Legend chronology – built on the Legend engine, and the modern era – a hard reboot from 2013.

Tomb Raider, Tomb Raider II, Tomb Raider III, Last Revelation, Chronicles, Angel of Darkness

Why, you might ask, are all six of these games grouped together?  It’s because I’m cheating a bit. I’m lumping all of these into the “Technical Issues” category – though not because the games didn’t run on my computer. They’re being shuffled to the side because I just could not get the hang of the controls. Between not having mouselook and Lara turning and jumping crazily, my ability to play these games is almost non-existent. Back when they were released, I’m sure I would have put the time into learning the controls – but today?  I’m content to just look for a fan mod that makes it easier to play. I do want to comment on my (limited) experience, but that will wait until my discussion of Lara herself.

Tomb Raider Legend and Tomb Raider Anniversary

These two games marked the first soft reboot of the series and a long-overdue move to a far superior game engine.  Both of these games go solidly into Tier One – Legend is the only game I played longer than I force myself to – and Anniversary seemed on par.  The platforming isn’t as terrible as in previous games (or future ones, for that matter), Lara is still a strong protagonist, and her legs are composed of more than three polygons. The set pieces are fun (even though I did get a bit lost).  Near the beginning there’s an arena that I got stuck in for about ten minutes while I tried to find my way out.  That brings me to the two problems I had with this section of games: puzzles aren’t always clearly presented, and climbing is a bit tricky (and not in a good way).

My complaints wouldn’t be such a problem except that puzzles and climbing are the bread and butter of the Tomb Raider franchise. While it kept being fun, I found myself wishing that these games had the puzzle-presentation of Valve with the free-running of Assassin’s Creed. There’s a bit of advice (I don’t remember where I first heard it) about puzzles: it stated that a good video game puzzle is one that you have all the pieces to.  In Tomb Raider Legend, there’s far too many instances where a puzzle relies on a small hidden door or switch – this is acceptable from time to time, but it breaks the flow of the game when it goes on too long. Similarly, climbing is limited to very specific (and often unclearly marked) ledges – which makes the navigation part of the game that much more obtuse.

Nevertheless, these games were fun and kept me interested and playing.  In fact, Anniversary (a re-imagining of the first game with the engine of Legend) had that ineffable “good” feeling you get when playing a game that is just plain fun.

Tomb Raider Underworld

Those of you who have played the Tomb Raider franchise may have noticed I left off one of the Legend engine games: Underworld. This is because it goes into Tier Three, unlike its predecessors. It goes into Tier Three for two reasons.  First, the camera and movement.  While Legend and Anniversary’s camera control was reasonable, Underworld’s camera and Lara’s direction of movement will only occasionally follow your command.

The second problem comes from the ridiculous and contrived plot – which is a remarkable complaint when talking about a Tomb Raider game. But as you see above, one of your first tasks is to murder a giant octopus. Typically, it is best to descend slowly into strange worlds: slowly revealing more and more unnatural things. Underworld pays little mind to this – or to reason itself – preferring to have a plot that progresses because there wouldn’t be a story otherwise.  Why do you kill the octopus?  No particular reason.  Why do you call your team before diving to the underground city? No reason. How do the “bad guys” show up immediately behind you with no warning and entirely silently? Because there wouldn’t be as much plot otherwise. This seems to be a theme throughout the game – trying to “raise the stakes” just results in an unbelievable story.

Tomb Raider

Finally, we come to the most recent reboot.  I don’t have any pictures for this section since I actually beat this game a year or two ago. Since it is part of the same series, I thought I should talk about it briefly here.  This also gives me the chance to put a second game into Tier Four. I recently talked with Chezni about Tier Four, and it turns out we had different ideas about what it meant.  The definition on the rules states that Tier Four games are not worth the time put into them.  I had taken that to mean the time spent to play them was entirely wasted, while Chezni saw the definition as saying that the game itself was not worth the time spent developing it.  I like that definition more, and it is the definition I use here.

So why does the Tomb Raider reboot go into Tier Four – particularly given the large number of accolades it received? It’s not because it uses the most cliche of plots (with Nazis and supposedly sympathetic nerds sacrificing themselves for no good reason).  Instead, it starts with quick-time events. Quick-time events pervade Tomb Raider and its cutscenes – these replace gameplay with a punishment for not knowing exactly which buttons to push. This is apparent challenge without real challenge, and they only exist to give the player a feeling of accomplishment for doing something cool during what might as well be a cutscene. And if you fail?  You run into the next problem: the unreasonably gruesome deaths of Lara Croft.

Lara Croft will die in the most horrific and terrible ways – for no good reason (quite often that you hit the wrong button during a QTE).  While playing the game I could only guess that the game designers really, really liked blood and watching people die. Recently, I was talking with Chezni and he mentioned that the producer wanted it this way to inspire the player to want to protect Lara – which certainly explains some things (more on that later). I have no problem with gore or violence. I have a problem with pointless gore and violence. Think about the time the developers spent on animating Lara getting eaten by dogs, impaled by spikes, and nearly/probably raped. Think about the time they could have spend making more places to explore.  Get mad.

Finally, we have the biggest problem – at least gameplay-wise. There are mini-temples and crafting mechanics throughout the game, but no motivation to actually use them. I finished the game without finishing a single side-dungeon – and only actually finding one. The game is designed to trick you into thinking you have a whole island to explore. But really, you just follow a set of linear quests to the end of the game. Admittedly, I did not take their chances to explore the island – for the reason that at every point in the main quest-line, you are given a sense of urgency to complete the next mission.  I took this to mean that perhaps Lara would return to the island after finishing the plot and give you time to go find all the nooks and crannies where treasure might be hidden.  It did not. The Lara in this game would likely never return to this island even if it contained the most fabulous treasures in the world.

Lara Croft

Lara Croft is a difficult character to analyze, made more difficult by the four distinct takes on her character. The Lara Croft of the first six games, the Lara Croft of the Legend trilogy, the Lara Croft of the reboot, and the Lara Croft of the movies are all distinct. Perhaps the best way to describe her influence is controversial (I promise I wrote that before reading her Wikipedia article).  On the one hand, all but her most recent portrayal has been as a devil-may-care action hero.  On the other hand, perhaps her most famous physical feature is her remarkable pair of…eyes.  And if you played video games in the ’90s and early 2000s, it was almost impossible to avoid the seemingly endless supply of nude mods for the Tomb Raider games.  Though, on this last point, I’m not sure we should judge a character based on what is done to them by the internet – Rule 34 exists for a reason.

We are faced with two aspects of Lara Croft that diminished as the series progressed: body proportions and sassiness.  Earlier iterations of Lara were entirely unrealistic, but she also commanded an attitude of control and confidence – approaching a level rivaling Saints Row. The Legend games toned down both her unrealistic proportions and her remarkable attitude.  I think this was probably the sweet spot for Lara as a character – even if it was still on the side of unrealistically proportioned.  An action hero can be unrealistic both in character and in body, as long as neither are taken too seriously.  At the same time, this must be balanced by believability if you want to start telling a complex story.  This toning down continued on both fronts into the reboot – and Lara became yet another bland protagonist for people to project their fancies on.

The Lara of earlier games is an action hero in the style of Bruce Willis in The Fifth Element or RED – ridiculous, over-the-top, and a bunch of fun (if a bit questionable on occasion). This is important because these elements are so diminished in Underworld and non-existent in the reboot universe.  In attempting to make Lara more realistic, they made Lara less Lara.

Oh well.  At least the developers of Tomb Raider don’t care about body proportions regardless of gender:

 

Steam Link 

Hitman: Blood Money
by Chezni

 

Does anyone else think that Agent 47 looks like a giant bald big-faced baby? I am of course talking about our protagonist in…

 

 

I’m… not even sure what to say about this game franchise anymore. I’m going to once again ruin the ending and tell you the rating for this game now: Tier 2. Yes, after the last two Tier 3 debacles, Hitman Blood Money scrapes its way back up into the Tier 2 category. So why do I sound so nonplussed about it? Well, because in spite of having 4 games–4 damn chances to perfect their system, work out the kinks and really deliver–Hitman Blood Money just leaves me feeling as bland as ever about the series. Technically a “good” game but overall what feels like wasted potential, and a lot of it.

 

 

The story this time is… oh I don’t even know or care at this point. It’s agent baby-faced white dude 47, out to murder the crap out of a bunch more brainless idiots through a series of unavoidable missions briefed by the same woman from the agency that made her debut in Silent Assassin. Point-and-click third-person gunplay with weapons so standard that it hurts, planted explosives for obviously scripted events and enough fiber cord to create the world’s largest ball of string; Agent 47 isn’t going to wow you with anything new in this one. The most exciting addition to 47’s arsenal is the fantastical option to toss out some pocket change which he can throw to distract his enemies. Other than that, it’s all tactically and mechanically similar to our previous titles.

 

 

I guess that’s not entirely fair. You can now do things like hide bodies in containers, hide weapons in crates, hide in closets (a lot of hiding) and do a couple more silent kills (such as from above) but none of things really change the game itself. They all just feel like tweaks on what was already there. I think that’s my biggest complaint so far about the series as a whole. Codename 47 (the first game in the series) was as close as it got to making me actually feel like a hitman. It may have been a confusing mess of interfaces, blocky models and small levels, but it made me feel like I was doing what a hitman would actually do. In all the later titles though, I feel like the devs have just made a game that happens to be hitman flavored. It’s like the difference between eating cooked BBQ and BBQ flavored chips. The chips can be good, but they aren’t wholesome and could never truly substitute what they imitate.

 

 

In a sense, I almost feel like the Hitman squad has fallen into a the trappings of its own brand. They set the mold inadvertently with their first game and they keep revisiting it over and over as if they’re trying to make it just *that* much better each time. I’m glad they’re improving with each game. That much can be applauded–but I feel that the mechanics themselves (walk around, point and click to shoot, steal clothes, walk behind somebody, murder them silently, rinse and repeat) while okay were just that–“okay.” They weren’t great; a simulator of a hitman simulator. While they continue to polish and clean up their old system with each release, nothing new is gained or explored. Nothing is inspired or redesigned. This is the kind of thing I expect from other games that are based off of a set of fun and challenging rules–Fire Emblem being a perfect example. I’m not upset when I load up a new Fire Emblem game and find myself controlling tiny units on a grid, because that’s what Fire Emblem was designed to be–a tactical game where you control tiny units on a grid. That is the heart of what Fire Emblem is. The heart of Hitman? Stupid AI and boring gunfights. Woo.

 

 

Overall, I hate to be so negative in the face of improvement. I mean, there’s even more on the “better-than-last-time” list. You no longer soak up bullets like a sponge soaks up water, you can run in front of guards without them gunning you down now, the levels have a nice balance of openness yet definable pathways and strategies. However,  I think the biggest problem is that none of this strikes me as “fun.” I never have fun with the actual “doing” part of any of this. It doesn’t feel exciting, or creative or intuitive. I’m just not sure what my motivation for the series is anymore. I know I keep repeating myself but so does this franchise so I’ll say it again; I’m not exploring anything new in this setting anymore. This game has become stale. Luckily, I have but one more Hitman title to make my way through. Wish me luck my friends (or curse me if you happen to love Hitman).

Steam Link

 

Hitman: Contracts
by Chezni

 

And it was written in the book of Game Progressionis, chapter 4 verse 10: “…and lo, unto the success of shootin’ up thugs, villains and hookers bequeathed by the Auto of Grand Theft, truly I say unto you, all early 2000’s shootin’ games will neigh eventually succumb to the same mold–even Hitman: Contracts. אָמֵן.”

 

 

There are a ton of improvements between Hitman 2: Silent Assassin and Hitman: Contracts but I’m going to ruin the ending and tell you that sadly, in spite of all of its improvements, it’s Tier 3 material. As you probably gathered from the intro, it’s just another 3rd-person shooter Grand Theft Auto wannabe. I’d probably still rather play this than GTA as I generally find my motivation to immerse myself into GTA to be rather lacking (try actually following the law, it’s probably the most stupid kind of fun you can have in GTA) but H:C still doesn’t strike me as being worth much of anyone’s time who isn’t interested in just shootin’ up thugs and hoes.

 


 

Let’s start with the good–and I’m not kidding, there’s a lot of it. Level design has had a massive upgrade–the mission locations actually feel like real buildings. They’re big, have tons of doorways and passages and are not linear at all. Controls have only improved through the progression of the three games, with this one having the best. Movement feels less floaty, interactions with objects in the environment are smoother still, and it’s clear when and where you can interact with things. The environments are populated with a massive amount of NPCs really making the locations feel alive–almost to a fault. There were probably around 100 people on-site in the second mission and the game processed them all smoothly.

 

 

Going hand-in-hand with level design, approach to the level itself has mercifully gone back to “strategy discovery” instead of “choose your flavor.” There always seem to be a couple of different ways towards accomplishing your goals and none of them are painfully spelled out to you as in H2:SA. While it will always be easier to execute a bloodbath strategy on your first run through a level, I noticed several points in the level where a stealth approach would be just as viable. Oh, and speaking of stealth, guards no longer immediately gun you down from a football field’s length away for moving faster than a brisk walk–a complaint I made in my review of the 2nd title. It’s pretty safe to jog around a bit in disguise, as long as you don’t do it right in front of a guard or bump into them.

 

 

In spite of this vast list of improvements, I still can’t get behind this game. I appreciate the stealth approach but let’s be honest–it’s harder, requires at least 4 times the amount of time to pull off (when you factor in scope-out time, planning and actually executing the mission flawlessly)–it requires prior knowledge of the level, and in some ways is less exciting (albeit more rewarding). The game lends itself far too easily and just runnin’ in and shootin’ dudes. Don’t get me wrong–the game calls you out on it at the end of the level (after shooting up 55 victims that were not my 2 targets, I got the label “Murderer”) but I seriously doubt that the majority of the intended audience playing the game drew satisfaction from much else other than weighing people down with a couple ounces of lead. Additionally, the game doesn’t seem to penalize for it either.

 


 

Look, I have no qualms with GTA from a moral standpoint. I may think it’s portrayal of “gangsta” life is shallow, pointless and uninspiring, but I’ve never been the type to shame people for playing it due to its take on ethics. The biggest reason I don’t like GTA is that I find it mechanically to be an unfulfilling game. Combat is point-and-click at best. Weapons may have varying degrees of power but they are all executed the same. While you can have some exciting car-chases with the cops, I always found Driver to be much more fulfilling on this front (keep in mind I’m about 10 years out of date though). It seems that the reason a person would play GTA (and by extension, H:C) is to feel a rush of power from having the freedom to deface, plunder and kill every person you meet. Fair enough, but why can’t that be done on the backdrop of a meaningful game? You could basically do the same thing in Just Cause 2 only there were several other mechanics happening alongside it, not the least of which was creating some awesome Hollywood explosions in the name of “anti-terrorism.”

 

 

Back on track and to the final supporting point indicating the weak creation of an effortless power fantasy is the horrible and literally sheep-like AI that the NPCs, both armed and unarmed, display. It reaches a point in H:C that goes beyond a lack of self-preservation and enters into a realm of wince-inducing stupidity. In a room filled with about a dozen dancing people, around 2 of them armed, I was allowed to walk in and pick them off one by one (in various ways) whilst they took no notice of me, their murdered friends, or the puddles of blood that were undoubtedly beginning to pool around their still-dancing feet. Likewise, in a room where I was “discovered” by some guards who opened fire on me, I rounded a corner, picked a few of them off, walked back into the room and and the rest of them ignored me completely. I understand that I had the game on normal mode and not some of the higher difficulties, but I expect “normal mode” to be the “normal” method through which the game was intended to be experienced which seems to send the message of “you’re an idiot, so we made the enemies even stupider than you.” Bullet sponging is also on par with H2:SA, in that guards must empty rounds of clips into you before you finally die.

 

 

I’m glad H:C made some huge improvements over its two previous titles. I’m happy to see the levels themselves opening up and expanding into something that begins to feel exciting. Overall though, I just feel like this one is also not worth the time it would take to play it. What do you gain from it? What do you take away? Not a whole lot in any department.

Steam Link

 

 

Blackwell
by LepcisMagna

Blackwell: A five game series of point-and-click adventures about guiding lost souls to the afterlife.  I love point-and-clicks, and Blackwell has a lot of good elements to it – psychic detectives, a touch of gothic horror, and just a good overall point–and–click atmosphere.  Unfortunately, unlike the games I just linked, those elements just never came together for me. This view may be biased (particularly against the later games) since I just came off of 10 hours of playing through the series (and I’ll admit, I had to look up a few puzzles), but I feel that I have to write this before my memory fails me.

Point-and-Clicks

That isn’t to say that these games are bad – in fact, they steadily improve as you play through the series.  These are solid Tier Two games – with the notable exception of the second game, Blackwell Unbound.  The trouble here comes more from the potential you find in point-and-click games.  For me, point-and-click games exist in a unique middle ground for video games.  In a fully “free” or open-world game, your practically unlimited agency makes small things like not being able to jump a two-foot-high fence a remarkable annoyance.  In a platformer, story is often neglected.  In a visual novel, there is no real challenge or choice (though there are exceptions to that rule).  Conversely, a good point-and-click adventure gives you just the amount of freedom to let you feel as if you contribute, just enough challenge to keep you thinking, and just enough story to keep you engaged.

Perhaps I’m biased.  At the end of my favorite point-and-click, The Longest Journey, I found myself unable to play any video games for a day or two – anything else would have been less perfect.  Between TLJ representing the pinnacle of story-telling and Submachine representing the pinnacle of puzzle-solving, any new point-and-click adventure game has a high bar to clear.  But before I go further about the overarching adventure, let me give you my per-game opinions.  For the record – and because I was constantly confused about it myself – the games go in this order:

  1. The Blackwell Legacy
  2. Blackwell Unbound
  3. Blackwell Convergence
  4. Blackwell Deception
  5. Blackwell Epiphany

The Blackwell Legacy

I’m afraid I don’t have any pictures for this one, since I beat it some time ago.  That says something, as I never found the motivation to go on to the rest of the series.  The protagonist, Rosa Blackwell, is a medium that leads lost souls – ghosts – to the afterlife, with the aid of her spirit guide, Joey Mallone.  Joey is a 30s clothing shop clerk who was gunned down after his best friend got into debt with a loan shark.  This is important, as it is never clearly explained why Joey is special or how often these “spirit guides” are created.  A Tier Two game since I had fun, but there wasn’t enough of the overarching plot to really draw me in.

Blackwell Unbound

Unbound is a prequel, following the aunt of Rosa – mentioned in the first game – back before she lost her grip on reality after the universe poured into her mind. That’s understandable, but this game frustrated me the most in the series.  The protagonist isn’t particularly likable, the puzzles were the worst of the series, and the only connection to the main games was explained in 30 seconds in the next game. You can safely skip this game and move on to Convergence without losing much, so it must be relegated to Tier Three.

Blackwell Convergence

I think this was my favorite of the series: just the right blend of mysterious foreboding and day-to-day ghostbustin’. One of the most important mechanical changes happened here as well – your cursor changes color depending on which character you are currently controlling (which was quite relieving, having played the previous game). The series’ art also peaked right around here.  The pixel art may not be quite as good as Epiphany, but at least the character portraits aren’t in a jarringly different style. The NPCs are well-developed and feature some of the best side characters of the series. It finishes strong with the hope of future adventures ahead.  The entire game has charm and conjures up that certain panache which good 90s games captured so well.  This is the game I almost put into Tier One – and if you’re okay with a semi-cliffhanger, I’d almost suggest that you stop playing here (while also having skipped Unbound).

Blackwell Deception

And they were doing so well.  While this game keeps some of the refinement of the previous one, it also introduces the two major issues I had with the series: a strangely uncharacteristic tone and an increasingly jarring art style.  Scroll up a bit – see that beautiful “spiritual realm” art?  Well, for some reason, this game makes the same place look like a 90s sci-fi set:

To be entirely fair, this game also introduced two things that greatly streamlined gameplay.  The first is a mobile phone so you don’t have to go running home to look things up every ten seconds. The second is this slider:

Walking speed.  WALKING. SPEED.  Every point-and-click needs this. I almost forgive this entire game its increasingly bizarre tone just for that slider.  I would sell my left arm to have that in The Longest Journey – as much as I love that game.  But even counting that slider, this too must fall into Tier Two.

Blackwell Epiphany

This game has some of the best art of the series – and more importantly, it has widescreen resolutions.  Well, a widescreen resolution. Did I mention that all the previous games run at 640×480?  This one runs at 640×400. Apparently, HD is a foreign concept even in 2013.

Even so, the wonderful art doesn’t entirely forgive the definite changes in tone. This is certainly the most “film noir” of the series, but that doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the series.  Especially when you compare Legacy to Epiphany, you wonder where the tone shift of the last two games came from.  Epiphany has ghosts ripped apart, child ghosts, suicide, prostitution, and more. It really feels too much like an attempt to have a serious (and bittersweet) ending.  Worse yet, several main plot points aren’t resolved and the epilogue throws in a strange twist not even hinted at previously that entirely invalidates the plot progression from the previous game. I should clarify that I’m not complaining because everything didn’t end up perfect for everyone – I’m a sucker for bittersweet endings.  I’m complaining because the ending didn’t make sense and didn’t fit in with the information given to us in previous games.  It avoids Tier Three because it is pretty and does provide some touching moments.  At least they kinda fixed the spiritual realm art:

And now that I’m thinking about it, this scene’s art has quite the Doctor Strange vibe (though mostly I just wanted to use this screenshot).

The Series

From a mechanical standpoint, the Blackwell series isn’t particularly impressive. Visual cues are often lost in the backdrop and important mechanics don’t always act the way you want.  None of the puzzles really stood out, preferring to blend into the story.  That’s a stylistic choice, and I can respect that – but it does make the few puzzles which require video-gamey logic particularly immersion-breaking.  This improved in later games, but there were still a few strange leaps of logic to be made, and the requirement that you talk to everyone about a subject five to six times particularly grates.

I liked the characters, and the overarching story was engaging enough to motivate me to finish the series.  That being said, the tone shifts unnecessarily in the final two games: introducing elements that really don’t fit into the earlier mythos in an effort to make it more serious. Lovecraftian horror I can get behind, but the grimdark turn this game takes… I cannot. If you just play the games with Nishanthi in them (which would be the first and third ones), you’ll be fine.

 

Steam link (1-4)

Steam link (Epiphany)

Hitman 2: Silent Assassin
by Chezni

 

Oh early 2000’s. Was there anything you didn’t cartoonify? You didn’t even spare Hitman 2: Silent Assassin.

 

Okay, I’ve only played an hour of the first Hitman so I can safely say that this isn’t a case of “Hur dur hur, I luv da first game and it is bettaaar” fan-boyism. After playing H2:SA, I can say that it just feels wrong. the entire time I just kept thinking that everything about the first one was just better. But I’m getting ahead of myself, let’s start at the beginning with the plot.

 

 

That picture up there of some young tomatoes? I bet you thought that was a mistake didn’t you? Nope. Now, I obviously didn’t finish the first one so I don’t know what exactly the conclusion was for Hitman: Codename 47 was, but whatever it was it lead our protagonist, the legendary Agent 47 to become… a gardener who lives in a shed inside the courtyard of a Catholic church. I’m not even kidding. The entire time I kept expecting the veil to be lifted and 47 to blow the local priest’s head off, revealing him to be 47’s long-stalked target or for 47 to throw off his gardening smock, whip out his guns and reveal that he had been using the folksy church gardener image as a ruse to somehow get closer to a target attending the church. I kept expecting… something… but nope. 47 is exactly what he’s portrayed as. This was not done for humor.

 

 

It’s not that I’m against the idea of a cold-blooded trained killer finding Jesus or something and settling down. It’s not that I’m against a story about a person having a change of heart. What I’m against is how out of place this whole thing feels. Nothing about it is believable. What’s even weirder is that the entire catalyst for the plot is that the priest whom 47 had apparently become friends with gets kidnapped by the local Don and so 47 digs up his old laptop (which must be like a million years old by tech standards now), briefcase and weapon stash so that he can contact the old agency he worked for to get the priest back. What ensues is what we in the delicate part of world like to refer to as “having the shaft worked upon you,” as for what little of the game I played was nothing but a series of excuses to go out and murder tons of dudes which supposedly put you one step closer to rescuing the priest.

 

 

There are many quality of life improvements in this sequel over the original, but it’s at the cost of mood, immersion and freedom. Controls are much more intuitive and movement is so much smoother comparatively. Graphics are much rounder as well and don’t hit uncanny valley as hard as before. Mechanically speaking, you can now drag bodies around to avoid their discovery, take people out non-lethally with anesthesia, and look through keyholes of a door before entering. While all this is nice, there was far too much sacrificed in its place. First, the story is contrived at best. Next, instead of getting to choose your loadout for the mission, you just take whatever they give you–if you need other equipment or weapons you have to find them on site. I literally found a sniper rifle just sitting in a garage next to a car that I used to assassinate my main target in the first mission. How convenient. Thirdly, you still get to solve the puzzle of the mission the way that you want to but it just feels like choosing a flavor instead of discovering a strategy. Do you want to sneak in as the mailman, the grocer or the guard? The results are all largely the same.

 

What’s wrong guys? I thought this was where I was where you wanted me to drop the groceries off!

 

That’s the other thing–it feels like this game wants you to move as slowly as possible all the time. You have to wait for characters to slowly creep around until they’re where you need them to be. You can’t run up to any of the people who’s outfits you want to steal because you’ll alert them. You can’t run while wearing an outfit or you’ll create suspicion. You can’t let the body of the outfit’s original owner to be seen, unless you slowly drag it somewhere out of the way. Look, I understand that in real life all of these things make sense, but they make for a very dull game. In the end, I just solved the first mission by running in and creating a bloodbath. It’s not like I couldn’t take enough bullets. Once, upon being discovered by two guards, I sat still and let them shoot at me to end the mission. Both of them together had to shoot and reload their clip 3 times before finally killed me. I was standing about 5 yards away from them. I was completely motionless.

 

 

This game isn’t atrocious, but I feel that it’s a rather large waste of time. It just feels so goofy compared to the first one but not in a good way. The manner in which you steal different flavors of clothing almost makes it feel like a cartoon and sets a very strange mood when compared to the original. Tier 3 is where it belongs, playable only to die hard fans and those with a large amount of time to waste.

Oh, and on an unrelated note, this Scarecrow turned its head to look at me. Nothing can convince me that it’s not alive.

Steam Link

 

Hitman: Codename 47
by Chezni

Have you ever wanted to be a bald, soulless, featureless shell of a hit-man? Me neither. But hey–with Hitman: Codename 47, you can reap the exciting benefits of such a life with none of the consequence!

 

Hitman: Codename 47 is the first in its long legacy of 8 games to date. Loading it up, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect as I’ve never even seen a second of footage from any of the 8 games (although I remember seeing a lot of promotional cardboard cutouts in Gamestop when I was a kid). H:C47, in spite of being a bit dated did not fail to impress me on a few fronts… just don’t look too closely at the graphics.

 

 

From what I can tell, you’re some sort of “produced” hitman, complete with nondescript features and a barcode on the back of your head. The tutorial is your last training mission, whereupon its end you must kill a guard, take his clothes and escape your prison under the watchful gaze of a mysterious man in front of a green-lit computer. I feel a bit stupid, but after trying the tutorial 3 times and failing, I had to look up how to do that last bit about taking the guard’s clothes which leads to my greatest complaint against the game; initially, nothing is intuitive. Take for instance environmental object interaction. In order to interact with a button that can do multiple things, you must first left-click on it, roll the mouse wheel up or down, choose which option you want, left-click again to exit the selection menu, walk up close enough to the object to interact with it, then push the interact key. Let me tell you right there, that for most games that would be enough for me to dismiss it on the grounds of unnecessary and confusing gameplay mechanics. Much can be forgiven though, once you get out of the tutorial.

 

 

The gameplay itself is a tried but somewhat underused pattern that hearkens back to 90’s gaming–choose your loadout. Each level begins with a mission dossier, something that pushes the plot forward a little bit and lets you know who and where your next target is. Then, from the funds you have available (which rollover from previous missions if you managed to save a few [thousand] bucks) you get to choose which weapons and gadgets you want from the list of things the agency can help you smuggle in. This is absolutely beautiful from an immersion and gameplay standpoint. First, it explains why you can’t tote in all the weapons you’ve cached up from your previous exploits and second, it lets each level become tailor-made while allowing a large amount of player freedom. Do you want to equip yourself to run in guns blazing? Do you want to take fewer bullets and try for accuracy to save on cash? Do you take a handgun with you as a backup to the sniper rifle in case things go south, or do you trust your in your skill and go sniper rifle only?

 

 

The levels themselves follow the same suit. While they are a bit small, you’re allowed to carry out the mission in any way and from any angle that you can find. Do you go for a clean shot from atop a building (if you can find one)? Do you take to the ground and silently kill off the guards one-by-one with your piano wire? The mission only gives you the objective, but lets you figure out how to accomplish them. No baby-hand-holding, no checkpoints, no mission markers. The way it should be.

 

 

H:C47 is not a perfect game at all. The controls are clunky, aspects of the game are not intuitive and its graphics haven’t aged all that well. None of that matters though, because at the heart of the game is something great–good enough to make it into Tier 2 in spite of its flaws. If you like creative problem solving and that sweet satisfaction of doing a clean run at a mission (avoiding the “cleaners” fees from being deducted from your reward) then this one’s for you.

Steam Link


Hydrophobia: Prophecy
by Chezni

 

Haha… well, it’s good to see that we’re still making games that that are teaching our tub-jawed meat-brained male populous how to be a good-guy stalker. I am of course talking about Hydrophobia: Prophecy.

 

 

Hydrophobia Prophecy is an “action” game where you take control of Kate Wilson, an engineer on some… ship… whereupon waking up on her day off, her peaceful home life is ruined by an unforeseen terrorist attack. To be fair though, most terrorist attacks are. In order to escape, you’ll control Kate as she runs around through water-filled corridors while some thick-headed smooth-talker tells you what to do and comments on your every little action. All the time. It never stops.

 

 

It’s hard to get a good feel for the rest of the plot beyond that in just an hour. While Kate seems to dream of drowning, she doesn’t seem to have a fear of water. The terrorists are boring and generic–kill all humans because they are overpopulating the earth (ship?). Generic cryptic “Kill Yourself” phrases and other messages are scrawled all over the place, many of which are only viewable when using Eagle Visio–er, I mean–hacker vision. Apparently this is the first chapter in a 3-part game that was cancelled after chapter 1. I have never understood why so many developers shoot themselves in the foot with this tactic. Very few single-chapter game series survive.

 

 

Gameplay is basically all the staleness of old Tomb Raider with none of the fun. Pathways are largely linear, stupid annoying collectibles are littered everywhere with little meaning to their collection and ladders–LADDERS my FRIENDS!–will be climbed. Admittedly, the water’s pretty and flows realistically, but it means little if that’s all we have. There’s a bit of acrobatics in Kate’s arsenal such as the ability to scale certain pipes on the wall and to swing from one pipe to another ledge (covering a distance of about 3 feet which, while realistic, is a tad dull) but it’s nothing special and frankly games should stop using the existence of linear wall-scaling as a substitute for real game mechanics. Even older Lara Croft’s exploits were not so painfully linear. No doubt later on we would gain some sort of power or fighting skills, but for a game that’s rated at 4~6 hours long I can’t imagine they would be that great.

 

 

The worst aspect of the game by far though is storytelling itself and the heavy lean towards the good-guy stalker syndrome. I once heard a quote concerning the newer Tomb Raider games that effort was being made on Lara’s model so that the players would want to “protect her.” This idea is repulsive on so many levels. There is absolutely nothing wrong wanting to protect a person. There’s nothing wrong that if the person you want to protect happens to be female. The problem is, that this is not how the sweaty-palmed male-targeted audience will receive these games–and it’s not how the developers designed them either. Kate is designed to be sexually appealing to hetero-sexual men. She’s well endowed, wears a skimpy skin-tight tank-top, taut jeans and has no bodily defect that would be considered unattractive. Kate is designed to titillate her male viewer, stimulating their primal urges into associating feelings along with the game that aren’t really there in substance.

 

 

Keep in mind here though, that Kate’s appearance alone isn’t the source of our problem. Our problem is that while she’s spunky, energetic and active, she’s also timid, innocent and needs the constant direction of the man in her ear, the alleged “Scoot.” Scoot is who the male audience is supposed to want to be. He’s fit, muscular, has a commanding American accent and has complete omniscience to Kate’s whereabouts and actions at every second of the journey. Jump to a ledge and he frets over her choice to take a dangerous route. Run into a corridor filled with water and he passionately yells at her “Don’t stop! You can do it!” Kate asks Scoot to leave her and find safety and Scoot responds with “No, don’t even think about it. You’re my responsibility and I’m staying.” Why is Kate Scoot’s responsibility? Why does her safety belong to him? Chivalrous bullshit, that’s why. Unless Scoot is Kate’s father (which is about as likely as getting the second chapter for this game) or some similarly audience-informed explanation, Kate belongs to herself. You want to know what’s worse? In the original Hydrophobia (yeah, this one’s a remake) Scoot was fat and had an Australian accent. He was not the mold that male players were supposed to inject themselves into so that they could feel one step closer to their precious Kate. The good-guy stalker syndrome devalues people (and in almost every case women exclusively) by assuming that their existence depends on the good-guy stalker.

 

In the end, this strikes a hard Tier 3 garbage level, only avoiding Tier 4 because the water really is so damn pretty. Otherwise? Why bother playing this misogynistic piece of crap. Old Lara Croft would have a thing or two to say about being sexy and “needing protection” and she’d probably say it while gunning down Bengal tigers, awakened dinosaurs and raider thugs with an arsenal of weapons that would make even Rambo nod his head in respect.

Steam Link


Valdis Story: Abyssal City
by Chezni

 

Heralding back to metroidvanias, have you ever asked yourself what one would look like underwater? Look onward my friend towards…

 

I’m just going to give this one to you straight and quick. Valdis Story is a polished metroidvania game with tons of toys for you to play with but fails to perfectly capture the goodness of the genre that it represents.

 

 

Story-wise, it has something to do with sea-dwellers being labeled as angels by those who live underneath it, two goddess sisters born unto light and dark and some sort of clash between both aforementioned pairs. You play as a top-sider who falls into a city in the sea and it’s up to you to beat the ever-living crap out of anything that gets between you and the next plot-trigger. The dialogue is acceptable (if a bit dull) and the opening drags on for what feels like an eternity.

 

 

There are 4 playable characters to choose from (2 of which need to be unlocked) each with a focus in a different fighting style, although it seems that it can be easily summed up as “Fighter, Healer, Thief and Mage.” I chose the healer (because I’ll be damned if I’m stuck playing a fighter again after Fortune Summoners) and I was happy to discover 8 distinct starting spells and several spell-casty perks to be picked up with each level gained.

 

 

The art is appealing as well, with very stylized characters and a bright and colorful world. The HUD and menu’s interfaces are also snappy, colorful and very user-friendly. It took me a matter of seconds to become acclimated to them. Monster drops are bright and apparent and upon pickup are immediately sent to their cozy little home on the inventory screen. Judging by the blank spaces, there’s even the promise of multiple pieces of equipment ranging from weapons to armors to finishers and pets.

 

 

The problem is, something about the game just doesn’t feel right. The world is almost too bright, and oftentimes I’ll lose the character in the action that’s going on. Smacking enemies in Castlevania felt satisfying and every level up felt earned–in Valdis Story, combat feels a bit button-mashy and level-ups almost feel gimmicky. You start out with so many skills that I almost feel spoiled and I feel I’ve done little to earn the power that I have yet I’m just as impatient for more power so that I feel a sense of progression. Horizontal movement within the game feels very slow and while I appreciated acquiring an early dash, it’s button input (down and quarter turn right/left?) was a little bit awkward. It was probably done so that other buttons (bumpers, I’m looking at you) could be reserved for powerups later, but the Castlevania series reserved the shoulder buttons for dashes for a reason.

 

In spite of all this polish and content I wish more thought had been put into the game design itself. Access to a healing spell right off the bat puts emphasis on turtling and hoarding MP just to have a bigger life bar. Some skills don’t seem very dynamic while others just seem like an alternative (and MP draining) method to mashing the attack key. Regardless, it can’t be denied that there seems like a lot to discover through multiple playthroughs and even offers a decent challenge–and I was only playing on “Normal” which was 3 levels below the ominous “God Slayer” difficulty. All this adds up to a high Tier 2 and definitely will be something I come back for once I clear out my T1 list.

Steam Link

Shadow Warrior
by Chezni

 

“I like sword. That’s a personal weapon.”

 

I was a bit worried when I loaded Shadow Warrior. Many years after its release I picked up Shadow Warrior Classic Redux after noticing its similarities to Duke Nukem. I was not disappointed (it was made by the same company after all) and discovered a fast-paced FPS with bad 90’s humor, overly done racial stereotypes and a challenging difficulty level (at least for newcomers). Some of the jokes were better than others (I generally felt uncomfortable when stumbling upon the naked  adolescent) but with such a copious torrent of Lo “Wang” jokes much was forgiven. This was why I was worried though–SW Classic managed to pull something off that walked precariously along the edge of good and terrible, and in spite of crossing onto the wrong side a few times, by the end it emerged as something pretty decent. To try and create a reboot of something like this just seemed very risky (RIP Nukem). So–they didn’t. They made something new. And it is filled with awesome.

 

 

SW features the familiar character of Lo Wang in an unfamiliar way. Whereas Classic Lo Wang came off as sort of that crotchety old man who made a lot of pervy grandpa jokes, new Wang is a lot younger and more fiery. He still has that same irreverent attitude as before, but now it’s… well it’s actually funny. That might sound weird, but old Wang was usually funny because of how stupid what he was saying was. New Wang is a young aggressive punk that doesn’t take shit from anyone, but has a biting witty humor about him. He’s very cock… err… wang-strong, grossly self-confident and singularly driven to accomplish whatever his goal happens to be. I’m not saying he’s a nice guy or even a good guy, but he’s extremely likeable in the manner that he doesn’t give a fig about what anyone else thinks.

 

 

Speaking of good and bad, Lo Wang works for Zilla in this one–or at least he starts out that way (Zilla was the villain in SW Classic). This is one of many references to the original game that makes an appearance and they are all worked in very well. Maybe I find it too funny, but I cracked a smile whereupon picking up your katana in Chapter 1, Wang says, “Hmmm… Sword. For when you want to make it personal.” Add to this rebooted monsters, weapons, fortune cookies and even an arcade machine and those who enjoyed the older game will at least find something to laugh at from nostalgia.

 

 

By no means is this game all (or even in the majority) throw-back. Combat has been completely revamped in lieu of a pseudo-level up system that features many skills weapons and upgrades. I’m actually surprised that they managed to cram so many different options onto one X-Box controller, but through the double-tap of the L-Stick and some shoulder buttons, everything you need is accessible on the fly without the use of a menu. I found the combat to be a bit non-challenging and perhaps simplistic, but that also meant that it didn’t drag and let’s be real, you just play this game to hear the next thing that comes out of Wang (or Hoji’s[?]) mouth, not for the combat. That’s not to say that slicing up demons and humans alike into deli meats isn’t fun, albeit I lean towards gun-toting ranged combat as a stylistic choice. Oh right–and you make a deal with a fox-demon named Hoji. That’s a thing.

 

 

Recently I rated D&D:Daggerdale at Tier 1, explaining that even though it was unfinished and simplistic, I still really enjoyed the gameplay. D&D:D carried many stipulations that indicated its poor quality but I submitted that if you could enjoy it for what it was, then it was worth it. Shadow Warrior on the other hand is something I think would recommend to a much wider audience with much less stipulation. So far, this has just been a fun game. The pacing has been fast and fun. The skills and combat has been fun. The characters have been fun.

 

 

I’m not trying to say that this kind of game or story hasn’t been done before (after all, it feels very 90’s–early 2000’s action hero-y, but if I can use Lo Wang’s cell phone from the beginning as a reference point, I think that this game is supposed to take place in the late 80’s) but I am saying that there don’t seem to be many obstructions to the game’s entertainment. The humor and setting is in the same key as the Deadpool film and who doesn’t like that? Tier 1 for now–I’ll be very disappointed (and a little sad) if I have to lower it later.

Steam Link