Dungeon Siege (Series)

 

Did you play Darkstone as a kid? Shutup–no. Of course you didn’t. Why? Because get off my lawn and somethin-somethin’ kids these days and Darkstone is an ancient old forgotten piece of art that never got enough appreciation and was probably the best game ever made and… and… oh dear word. It’s on Steam. For a buck. Well if that don’t beat all. Everything’s on Steam these days, including my childhood apparently. *Ahem* Anyway, as I was saying… shutup.

We’re reviewing the Dungeon Siege series today. Sheesh. Stay on topic, will you?

 

 

DUNGEON SIEGE

 

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A Virus Named TOM

I’m afraid I can’t recommend a Virus Named TOM.  It feels more like a portable or flash game than a full desktop game.  I also don’t have any screenshots, because neither Steam nor Greenshot would take one (and somehow I turned Windows into High Contrast mode while trying).  You play as the eponymous TOM, and you are used to infect the inventions of a Dr. X, who has been ousted from his company and wants revenge.

It’s a pipe puzzler, of which there are many on Kongregate and iOS.  There isn’t really anything to recommend this one over any of the free ones you could find online, and you could likely find a more intriguing puzzle game like TIS-100 that doesn’t have an annoying time-based element.  I am typically biased against time constraints in puzzle games, so perhaps I was doomed to dislike this game.

Nikopol: Secrets of the Immortals

Huh.  Another point-and-click adventure game.  While I’d like to say that I enjoyed my time playing Nikopol, three things prevented that.  (As a bonus problem: the game supports widescreen resolutions, but doesn’t actually render the game in widescreen – I’ve never run across that before.)

First was that the game was actually too detailed.  It’s hard to figure out what is a thing you’ll need and what is a thing that exists only for background.  This is made worse when the things you can pick up change as you go through the game.

Second was that the puzzles I encountered in the first level were… not terribly intuitive.  In fact, I think it’s the fastest I’ve looked up a walkthrough since I didn’t want to waste my hour. It turns out that was unavoidable.  The puzzles that exist, beyond being unintuitive, also don’t make a whole lot of sense story-wise.  For example, I was supposed to bring a portrait of my father, as seen above.  However, instead of just bringing the reel of film, I have to actually paint the portrait.

My third trouble was that the little story I did run across didn’t seem particularly engaging.  This game is apparently based on a series of graphic novels, so I would recommend reading those rather than playing this game.

So sadly, this must go to Tier Three.  It’s only a dollar right now, but I can’t even recommend it when there are games like Broken Sword 5 I have yet to play.

Steam link

 

Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light

 

Ye olde Guardians of Light? She better keep her robes on.

 

Lately it’s been hard to drag myself away from watching an infinite number of Netrunner games on Jinteki.net and play the next game on my list, Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light. Partially this is because I’m developing an unhealthy obsession with Netrunner and partially because beyond the initial “legacy” Lara Croft games, I have trusted mainstream game developers with the Lara Croft franchise so little that I’ve never even bothered to play any of the new games. Plugging in LCGoL and giving it a play gave me a surprise… but not necessarily for the reason you might think. I give you…

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Grand Theft Auto III

I’m breaking my tradition of playing all the game in a series when reviewing – mostly because I already know I don’t like the GTA series.  It’s not because you shoot cops, use baseball bats to “encourage” people, or even the whole “hot coffee” (NSFW) controversy (apparently, there’s an entire Wikipedia page dedicated to controversies surrounding just GTA IV).  In point of fact (and this is a rant that is 10 years late), I think GTA doesn’t go far enough.  You don’t cause enough violence and mayhem.  The real complaints about GTA (and the reason behind the controversy) come from video game mechanics interfering with the serious story.  People criticize GTA and take it seriously because it takes itself seriously.

Initially, I thought this problem may have been limited to GTA IV.  After all, my friends growing up kept telling me how great San Andreas was; but when I finally played GTA IV, I was struck by how much it reminded me of Man of Steel in tone (yes, I was very late to the GTA party).  And, it had the same problem as most (but definitely not all) of DC’s movies – you have superhuman people able to soak up bullets and spit them out without batting an eye, but then we’re expected to believe the narrative when they ignore their powers for some dramatic moment.  Similarly, this happens in GTA when the character is perfectly reasonable in cut-scenes, but a psychopath the moment the player has control.

How do you solve this disparity without limiting player freedom?  Saints Row.  The opening scene to Saints Row the Third is your character robbing a bank dressed in masks of themselves.  They lift the vault from the bank with a helicopter and only fail when they are attacked by a rival organization.  This is actually somewhat reminiscent of GTA III’s opening: you are shot in the face by your girlfriend after robbing a bank, somehow survive, and are broken out of a prison convoy.  The difference is that Saints Row does not take itself seriously – so when you get out onto the streets and start driving on the sidewalk, it makes sense.  In GTA, it’s a non sequitur because the character and story are supposed to be taken seriously.  For a far better (and more amusing) look at this, I highly recommend Zero Punctuation’s review of 2 and IV (Saints Row’s naming scheme irks me).

To GTA III specifically, then.  Well, it’s a sandbox game where you run around, do missions, and beat people up.  Trouble is, there aren’t a whole lot of other things to do.  I hadn’t realized how important the Saints Row mini-games were to making you feel like you didn’t completely waste your time by driving to some other random location on the map rather than doing one of the missions.  I could drive on the sidewalk and generally run about stealing cars and listening to the radio in GTA III, but that just increases your wanted level and will eventually lead to you losing $1000. Either you lose that money to the police if you get caught, to a car shop that resprays your car, or to the hospital if you die.  It’s a bit frustrating that the answer the game has to having psychopathic fun is always “lose $1000” – just differently flavored ways to get there.  Maybe the game picks up later, but I suppose I’ve just been spoiled by Saints Row.

Steam link

Civilization (Series)

INTRODUCTION

Well, I had to do them eventually, right?

 

 

Civilization has been a sort of slow chugging but ever strong steam engine within the last 20+ years of gaming history. Always on the edge of popularity but never in quite the main limelight, the Civ series drew in a unique but loyal crowd of fans. Those who loved playing militaristic board games like Risk or Axis and Allies, historian buffs with a love for all the diverse cultures throughout time and those who just loved games about starting out with a few resources and ending with a massive collection of stuff to manage were all counted among these fans. Finally, a game existed where these people could gather together and begin answering previously un-answerable questions like, “What would happen if George Washington met Genghis Khan?”

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Deus Ex: The Fall

Woooo! Deus Ex is making the jokes for me! Can I really describe it any better than they already have? This truly is…

 

They say you need three units of data to establish a pattern and we have four. True to the up and down nature of Deus Ex, we’re in stor for another Tier 3 piece of garbage. Yes, it’s still better than Deus Ex: Invisible War (not very hard) but it’s still a waste of space, bleached of value to all, save for the most die-hard Deus Ex fans, the incredibly bored or both. Deus Ex: The Fall truly is “The Fall” again of the series, leading me to believe that those in charge of the franchise are completely capable of making good games–and equally capable of taking advantage of their good game by shotgun-releasing a rushed water down piece of trash immediately afterwards in order to rake in the easy cash.

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Deus Ex: Invisible War

Tonight on WHEN GOOD GAMES GO BAD.

 

I’ve played Deus Ex: Invisible War already a while back for 3 hours according to Steam. My original impression was that the game sucked. Having played and finished the original Deus Ex, I considered that maybe my newly acquired sense of Deus Ex lore and context may provide the missing link enjoying DE:IW. Nope. In fact, knowing what I know from the Original DE, as well as my experience with how good it was actually just tells me that this game sucks even more than I had originally thought. I can’t believe how far it fell. Everything about this game just feels wrong.

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Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six

The trouble with drawing a series in our Steam roulette is that it really puts a dent in my enthusiasm.  There’s always so many games to review all at once. Sure, I could review them one at a time, but then I won’t really be able to compare them accurately.  Then, because reviewing multiple games takes a lot of time, I put it off and just don’t play anything (well, except Android: Netrunner).  So it went with Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six.  Finally, I got around to it; and right off the bat, Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six seems to avoid many issues I have with FPSs – at least early on.

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